


Next To You

by Tabbydragon



Category: Horizon: Zero Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Post-Canon, Slow Burn, spoilers for the end of the game, these two idiots will be the death of me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-01-05 14:31:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 41,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12191742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tabbydragon/pseuds/Tabbydragon
Summary: The battle with Hades is over, but the world still seems to keep turning. Aloy is trying to come to terms with this, as well as figure out what she's going to do next. Meanwhile Erend is trying to wrangle his unruly feelings into something that at least bears a passing resemblance to friendship.





	1. Chapter 1

Victory! It was glorious. It echoed in the cheers of her friends and the cityfolk across the valley, filling Aloy’s ears with the sound of accomplishment. It washed over her in a slow, heavy wave of bone deep satisfaction. The world was safe. They had done it! She felt almost giddy as her battle nerves gave way to elation. 

But the rush of joy didn’t last long against the exhaustion that soon chased after it.  The relief at stopping HADES in time was profound, making her knees buckle. It was as if, now that she had a moment to breathe, all her energy had drained out of her at once, and she was suddenly craving sleep as if she hadn’t rested for a year. 

But there was no time for a reprieve. 

It felt like an eternity before she, Erend, and Varl managed to track down everyone who had been at the Alight. Several Nora were dead, along with two of Erend’s Vanguard. Sona was alive, but with several cracked ribs and a series of puncture wounds down one arm from where she had taken hits from a Deathbringer’s weapons. Talanah had a broken leg and a bad concussion. To Aloy, getting all of the injured down from the Alight felt like it took years. 

Several more years passed getting Varl and Sona to the Nora camp--in typical Sona fashion, the War Chief had refused the help of “tainted Carja outlanders,” and insisted that she be seen to only by her son and her own people. Aloy was desperately thankful that Teb was there to stitch up her wounds. 

A few centuries had surely turned by the time they left Talanah safely in the hands of the Hunter’s Lodge healers and went to check in with Avad at the palace. There had been mercifully few human casualties, thanks to Aloy’s warning, and it had taken far too long to convince Avad that the royal celebration he was having the next day should NOT center on her. She finally persuaded him to honor all the soldiers and “irregulars,” together, letting her be one of many. 

The Vanguard were last. She felt as if she were older than the ruins of the Old Ones once they finished checking in with Erend’s men.  She watched as he clapped them on the back, praising their courage and ability. He promised to join them in their celebration soon, and handed them a fat purse of shards, saying the first round was on him. 

By the time she finally crossed the bridge from the palace back onto the central mesa, Aloy found herself gaping that it was only an hour after sunset. HADES had only been that afternoon, but it felt like a lifetime ago. 

Walking to the nearest balcony, she stared out at the smoky haze that washed over the western side of Meridian. She heard footsteps and turned to see Erend joining her in leaning on the balcony rail. His presence was comforting, and he wouldn't treat her like something out of legend. The people of Meridian had already been calling her a hero as she’d headed to the palace. Their overawed behavior had been a little too close to being another Anointed for Aloy’s liking. And with Erend here it looked like they were having a private conversation; Carja manners would prevent the city folk from stifling her in well-meaning gratitude. 

The view from the balcony was washed in the cool blue of evening, spattered with warm orange lamplight. Meridian looked surprisingly good, all things considered. The fires had been put out and the immediate rescue work had already happened by the time they had gotten down from the Alight and back up to the city. She found herself absently watching the last of the smoke drift between the buildings, billowing out over the valley surrounding the mesa. The air was full of cheering and music from the center of the city. The whole of Meridian was celebrating, and her mind slowly drifted with the smoke-filled melodies that wound their way between the buildings. It wasn’t until Erend’s hand came to rest on her shoulder that she realized she had been half asleep standing up, half slumped on the balcony railing. 

She shook herself, squared her shoulders, and tried to rally what energy she had left. “We should head over to join everyone,” she said, nodding her chin toward the source of all the merriment. “Your men are waiting for you.” 

Erend’s brow was furrowed. “Hey, don't take this the wrong way, but you kinda look like you’ve been trampled by a Behemoth,” he said, gently teasing. “It’s okay if you don’t feel up for it.”

She huffed a tiny laugh. “I’m.. ” She had been going to say she was fine, but the earnest concern on his face made her hesitate. Erend was a friend. She could trust him. She sighed wearily. “I’m tired. Really tired.”

“C’mon,” he said. His eyes were warm in the glow of lantern light. “Everything will keep until tomorrow. Let’s get you back to Olin’s and you can get some rest.” He gave her shoulder a gentle tug to steer her towards the southeastern side of the city.  

Aloy felt a rush of gratitude. “Thank you. I really didn't know if I could be around so many people tonight, after everything.” 

“Yeah,” he sighed. “Me too. A victory bash without Ersa just seems… wrong.”

Aloy looked up at him with sympathy, “She would be really proud of you, Erend.”

“Thanks,” he said, giving the same tiny, slightly disbelieving smile as he had on they day they’d first met, when she had complimented him on calming the crowd. Then he stifled a yawn and his tone grew lighter. “Ugh, I haven't been this worn out in ages. I’m going to sleep for a disgustingly long time.” 

Aloy huffed a laugh that rapidly became a yawn as well. “Me too. I might sleep for a month. Maybe a year if I can get a door.” 

“Hah! Yeah, that sounds pretty good,” he laughed. “A year sounds about right. Maybe even two.” He winked at her, making her smile. 

They made their way to Olin’s apartment. The guard that had been watching over it was gone. Aloy tried not to think about the likelihood that he was dead as she stepped inside and sat heavily on the sofa. Her muscles ached from the shock she’d received while stabbing HADES, and all the bruises she’d accumulated over the course of the day were starting to complain all at once. “I never want to do this again,” she groaned, leaning her head back against the couch. 

Erend smiled, “Yeah, I think we’d all prefer it be a one-time thing.” He stood just inside the doorway, looking as tired as she felt in the dim light filtering through the door. He fidgeted for a moment, making tiny movements as if he were about to step closer, and then checking himself. Then his shoulders dropped and he exhaled, long and slow.  “You did it, Aloy,” he said quietly, as if he couldn’t quite believe it. “You saved the damned world.” 

  
“ _ We  _ did it,” she corrected, smiling up at him. Saying it made it feel real, and a rushing wave of relief washed over her once more. She shook her head, chuckling softly at the insanity that had been her day. “We really did it. It’s over.” They had killed an ancient intelligence and saved the entire planet from a second destruction. The chuckle turned into a laugh. She had faced down a machine with powers like a god and stabbed it with a spear. A spear! She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees, laughing harder, tears prickling at the corners of her eyes. “It’s over,” she said again. It wasn’t even all that funny, but she couldn’t seem to stop laughing.

She had done everything she’d set out to do. It was all over. She had being going nearly nonstop for the better part of a year, pushing herself at breakneck speed ever since the Proving. She’d seen wonders, faced horrors, saved people, killed people, and it was all finally, finally finished.  

The laughter turned into a sob, then another, and then she was crying openly, the tears of laughter in her eyes suddenly spilling down her cheeks. All the grief and frustration, exhilaration and joy, worry and fear, the incredible knowledge she had gained, the nightmares she had faced, the friends she had made, the people she had lost, all of it surged over her in an overwhelming torrent of emotion, the sheer magnitude of it all threatening to drown her. 

All at once Erend was on the seat beside her, drawing her into a hug and stroking a gentle hand up and down her back. “Hey, hey. It’s okay,” he murmured softly. She hesitated for half a heartbeat, then buried her face in his shoulder, fingers clinging to the gaps in the armor on his chest. He was warm and solid, his heartbeat a gentle counter-rhythm to the motion of his hands. The frantic beating of her heart eased just a little.“You’ve been through a hell of a lot,” he said. “It’s okay.” 

“A hell of a lot,” she repeated between muffled sobs. Her mind went to Rost.  _ Oh Rost!  _ His loss was suddenly fresh as the day he had died. She slowly found herself telling Erend about the Proving, how she had wanted the Matriarchs’ boon to learn of her mother and outcasting, about Helis’ attack and how Rost had sacrificed his life to save her. “And… and from there it just…. kept growing.”  She told him about tracking the Eclipse through the Sacred Lands, following them to the Sundom, about Sylens, Maker’s End, and the Grave Hord. She wasn't sure she should be telling him all of this. 

It has been so lonely, carrying all this knowledge by herself. Until the Proving she had always had Rost, had never truly been alone. He had always been there to share her experiences. Now? Sylens knew everything, yes, but he was only interested in what she could help him learn, only talking to her when he wanted something. She had thought for a moment, at Mother’s Watch, that maybe Varl might want to know, might come inside the mountain to see, but the idea clearly upset him, and she had abandoned it. Now, warm and safe in Erend’s embrace, it was as if a dam had broken inside her, and once she had started she couldn’t seem to make herself stop. 

She told him about the Faro Plague, the inevitable destruction of Earth, Project: Zero Dawn, Elizabet Sobeck, the loss of APOLLO, HADES gone rogue, the destruction of GAIA Prime, her origins, being motherless, all of it. She talked for hours.  A tiny part of herself berated her for subjecting Erend to her tears and babbling. He was tired and didn’t need this after the day they’d had! Another part jabbered in terror that he would be disgusted by her birth and shun her, terrified he would see her the way the Nora had, or put her on a pedestal like the Carja, forever isolated and othered either way. But he just listened and held her, alternating between stroking her hair and her back, and occasionally making little sounds of sympathy or amazement. 

Eventually she ran out of words and tears, both. The silence of the room pressed in on them, broken only by Erend’s steady heartbeat under her ear. “I’m sorry,” she said thickly, carefully pulling away to sit up. Her eyes were gummy and her face gritty from drying tears. “I don’t think this is how you pictured celebrating.” She scrubbed at her eyes, embarrassed. 

Erend huffed a tiny laugh. “Hey, I’ve got the best company in Meridian all to myself. What more could I want?” he said, a half-smile tugging up one corner of his mouth. Then he sobered and shook his head, giving her a little squeeze. “I ...had no idea you’d been through so much,” he said softly. “And you’ve been alone for almost all of it.” He caught her gaze and gathered one of her hands in both of his. “Aloy.. You’re pretty damned amazing, you know that? And not because this GAIA lady had big plans for you, that’s not what I mean.” His eyes were deep blue-gray in the dim light of the room.  “You had to.. I mean, this was some serious shit to face, and you did it. And.. well,” he rubbed the back of his head with one hand, looking embarrassed. “Look, I don’t know anyone who could do all that. Except you. You’re really incredible. And you did it all without losing your mind, you know?”  A tiny spark of humor danced in his eyes for a moment, “Without running off screaming to live with turkeys or something.”  

It was a terrible joke, but she found herself smiling anyway. Erend somehow always managed to do that. She couldn't begin to describe how grateful she was for his presence, his generosity, and his gentle sincerity. 

For not treating her differently now that he knew everything. 

Aloy took a slow breath and found she felt... better, surprisingly, despite everything. She knew what needed to happen next. GAIA Prime still needed to be repaired, and she desperately wanted to find Elizabet if she could. She had time to plan, time to figure out her next move, time to breathe. 

She had people who cared about her.

“Thanks, Erend,” she said, feeling oddly shy. “I.. I really appreciate .. all of this.” She gestured at their joined hands. “For letting me talk to you. For listening for so long. I promise I’ll make it up to you somehow, for keeping you from your celebrating.”  

He shrugged, a crooked smile curling his lips. “It’s the least I could do. Besides, I was probably just going to go home and pass out anyway.” His next words were interrupted by an enormous yawn. It was long after midnight and the moon was already setting. “I wasn’t exaggerating before, about sleeping for a disgusting amount of time.” He yawned again, and Aloy noticed the heavy, dark circles under his eyes.  

“You look like you’ve been trampled by a Behemoth,” she teased him, and felt a surge of warmth as he laughed at his own words thrown back at him. He stretched his back, groaning as his aches and bruises reminded him of their presence.

“I  _ feel  _ like I’ve been trampled by one.” He grimaced and stood up shakily, taking a step toward the door. “Ugh, it’s like a tinker’s been using me for his best forge anvil.” 

Aloy grasped his wrist, standing carefully to join him. “Maybe you should stay here then,” she suggested. “You can have the bed upstairs if you want, or the couch here?” Was it weird for her to offer that, she wondered, watching the way his eyebrows shot up in surprise. She still felt raw and exposed, and the thought of staying alone in someone else’s home was almost too much to bear.  

But then his expression eased into one of weary gratitude and she relaxed. “Thanks, Aloy.” His smile was ringed by exhaustion, “I really wasn’t looking forward to--” he yawned again, “ugh--to the walk home.” He was already sitting back down on the couch. “This will be fine right here.” Another yawn. “You go get some sleep, okay?” 

“Okay,” she said, and on a whim leaned down to give him a hug. “Thank you, Erend. Goodnight.”

His smile, full of something that looked an awful lot like affection, made her stomach glow warm. “Goodnight, Aloy.” 

She turned and made her way up the stairs, her mind feeling empty and full at the same time. She stripped off her armor and left it in a messy heap, collapsing onto the bed with an exhausted sigh. She had just enough energy left to wonder at the sudden impulse she’d had while she was hugging him--the urge to kiss him goodnight--then sleep swooped in like a Stormbird and claimed her. 

___________________

 

Erend woke to the sounds of Meridian awake and about its business. 

Which was ...weird. 

His bedroom windows were usually shut against the noise of Meridian’s hustle and bustle. He cracked an eye open and squinted in the bright sunlight making its way through the open doorway in front of him. Why was his door open? He lifted his head for a better look. 

Agh! Everything, from head to toe, ached abominably. Pain woke him up the rest of the way, and memory flooded back. The battle on the Alight. No wonder he felt like hammered iron. He had walked Aloy home, and he was in Olin’s old apartment. 

Aloy. 

The things she had told him last night… Fire and spit, everything she had seen and done was insane! He was still trying to wrap his mind around most of it. She had discovered the origin of the  _ world _ , and then immediately saved it!  He had thought, after Dervahl, that he couldn’t possibly have more respect for Aloy. She had already been the most amazing person he’d ever met. Apparently he hadn’t had a clue how true that was. Dervahl was an annoying insect compared to everything she had been through. Anyone else would have broken down long, long before last night. 

At least he had been able to offer her some comfort. Warmth pooled in his belly at the memory of her curled up against him, sharing things with him that she hadn’t spoken of to anyone. It had been wonderful to have her in his arms, knowing she was trusting him with something as incredibly precious as her trust and vulnerability. And she had been so warm, her hair so soft under his fingers... 

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. This line of thinking was only going to end badly. She was painfully,  _ hopelessly  _ out of his league. That had hit him with utter certainty when she had come to talk with him, after Dervahl. She was never going to be interested in him like that, and that was the end of it. This was not the time to be sliding back into the crush he’d had on her before. He was lucky to get a few minutes of her time, luckier still to have her friendship. Aloy was usually so capable and self-sufficient that she didn’t need help from anyone. He should be content to have been able to do  _ something  _ for her. He owed her that much at least, and she didn’t need his sorry ass fawning over her like a lovestruck kid.  _ She trusts you, _ he thought to himself.  _ It’s more than you deserve! Don’t be an idiot and ruin it by wanting more _ . 

He sat up, stretching carefully. Thank the forge he’d had the sense to take off his armor before falling asleep or he’d never get his back straight again. He wobbled to his feet, avoiding the tangle of ring-locked steel and leather on the floor, and groaned loudly as his muscles shrieked in protest. 

  
“I agree,” came a soft voice to his right. 

He started and turned his head, “Aloy?” 

“What’s left of her,” she said, a tired smile flickered across her features. “Good morning.” 

She was perched on a stool in the kitchen nook, wearing only a leather tunic and leggings, a wooden cup cradled in her hands. Erend blinked at her. She looked so small and lithe without her armor, almost delicate. He immediately had to bite back a laugh at the idea that Aloy and “delicate” would ever cross his mind at the same time. She could probably break him in half!

“Good morning,” he said instead, joining her. “I hope you don’t ache as much as I do. I’ve had hangovers that were more fun than this.” She had brewed a pot of tea; willow, from the smell of it. He took the second, empty cup she proffered and poured it full.  Willow bark was the base ingredient for dreamwillow, and would ease his aches without making him loopy. He sipped it carefully, suppressing a shudder at the bitter flavor. “How long have you been down here waiting for my lazy ass to wake up?”

“Not long. Just enough to make this,” she said, gesturing to the teapot. She sipped her tea and arched an eyebrow, smirking. “And enough to learn that I could probably fight a Thunderjaw right next to you and you wouldn’t wake up.” 

Erend huffed a laugh. “Hey, I was really tired!” He put a hand on his chest and did his best to mimic one of the more pompous Carja nobles always complaining to Avad. “Heroically exhausted, thank you very much!”  It had the desired effect of making her laugh. 

He was elated! Everything about her was usually so serious and focused that when she laughed out loud or smiled wide it felt like a gift. He watched her smooth a stray hair behind her ear, her eyes crinkled with mirth, feeling rather in awe that he was joking with this incredible person, that she bothered with him at all. She sensed his eyes on her and looked up at him, her expression turning solemn again.

“Erend, about last night…” 

_ Uh oh _ . His stomach roiled with sudden nerves. It had been too good to be true. Did she regret telling him those things? Had he said something wrong, overstepped?  _ Idiot, you always screw up somehow!  _

She fiddled absently with her cup as she spoke. “I wanted to thank you,” she said slowly. Huh _?  _ Erend could feel his eyebrows climbing slowly higher with each word. “For still treating me like.. me? The Nora call me ‘the Anointed’ and the Carja think I’m a hero. But with you... I’m still just myself.” Her cheeks were growing steadily pinker. “And it’s been a long time since I’ve had someone look out for me. So…” she watched him with those incredibly expressive hazel eyes of hers, and for a moment he couldn’t breathe. “So, thank you.” 

Erend stared at her and shuddered a breath as his lungs started working again. She wasn’t angry! He hadn’t blown it. He’d actually made her  _ happy _ . The urge to wrap her in an enormous hug was overwhelming, but he reined himself in and contented himself with a gentle squeeze of her shoulder.

“Hell, Aloy,” he said. His chest felt like molten steel. “I’ve always known you were amazing. Now I just know exactly how much.” Try as he might he couldn’t keep the grin off his face. “And…” His face was growing hot and he hoped desperately that it didn't show. “I’ll look out for you any time. Just say the word.” 

Aloy smiled wide and Erend was pretty sure this was the best day of his life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This stupid ship, you guys! I tried to resist. I really did. But I'm weak! Also, I fell completely ass over ankles in love with this world and its characters. I didn't want to let them go when I got to the end. Especially poor Aloy who's been through hell and back and never really got much time to stop and just process it all, you know? And Erend is completely hopeless, and I love him. So now I've written fic for the first time since, like, the early Jurassic period. I hope it isn't awful. 
> 
> Any feedback is always welcome. Let me know if you think I should continue.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all the positive feedback and kind words. It made my week!

“Please just think about it?” Teb said. 

Aloy tried not to let it show how much her stomach was churning with anxiety. “Alright,” she sighed. She had just wanted to go to her meeting with Avad. This was too much. “I’d better go,” she said, and saw Teb nod.

“All-Mother keep you, Aloy. See you soon.” 

She beat a hasty retreat, heading through the main streets of Meridian toward the palace, nerves making her spine rigid and her shoulders stiff. This was not at all how she had thought her morning would go. 

The Nora were leaving soon. That was completely expected. It had been four days since the battle on the Alight, and Sona was positively itching to go home. She wasn’t fully healed, of course. Sona was much too impatient to return to the Sacred Lands to wait for that. The moment she’d been able to walk she had been rallying the remaining Nora and preparing to leave. Aloy had been visiting them every day, and it had been plain that they wanted to kick the dust of Meridian from their boots as soon as possible. 

What she hadn’t expected was for the Nora, to a one, to beg her to return with them, all of them insisting they would need the help of the Anointed to rebuild and restore the tribe. Aloy snorted. As if she somehow could do more than any other sturdy back and pair of hands. As if somehow her mere presence could assist in putting the villages back together. 

As if they hadn’t spent twenty years shunning her. 

They had come in ones and twos over the last several days--Varl had even come to her twice--all of them had pleaded, cajoled, or appealed to her sense of duty. Teb was the last, looking at her mournfully with his sensitive eyes and begging that she return. She had hoped maybe he would be the exception, that maybe he would see how much the question bothered her and avoid it. But she also understood how terribly, horribly vulnerable the tribe was, and it made sense that they all wanted her help so desperately. 

She sighed. The whole thing made Aloy’s guts twist. 

In the depths of her heart, despite the incredible guilt it caused, Aloy knew she would never be at home among the Nora. It had been Rost’s dearest wish that she embrace the tribe, to truly become one of them, and it made her chest ache to know how devastated he would be if she refused them. But the world was so big, so bright and full of wonder, that going back to live within the strict confines of Nora law was like choosing to be shut away in a dark room for the rest of her life. She couldn’t stand it! 

But turning her back on everything Rost had ever wanted for her felt like a betrayal of his memory. Aloy felt lost, pulled in two. 

Maybe Erend would have some ideas? They had been meeting each night at his favorite tavern, sharing news of the city’s recovery and its people over their evening meal. He knew her situation better than anyone, and he seemed to have a knack for dealing with people. Maybe he could see a way through this. 

She resolved to ask him later as she turned a corner, passed the Hunter’s Lodge, and the bridge to the palace came into sight. It was almost as if her thoughts had summoned him, though, for as soon as she rounded the corner she heard Erend’s voice call her name from over her shoulder. He was jogging towards her, waving. 

“Headed to see Avad too?” he asked as he fell into step beside her. His eyebrows drew together with concern. “Hey, is he going to execute you or something? Why the long face?”

She smiled at his joke, her stomach giving a little flutter at the sight of him. It always seemed to do that now, and she much preferred it over the anxious roil of worry.  Her smile did nothing for his concern, however, because he narrowed his eyes at her. She sighed.

“It’s the Nora. They want me to go back with them,” she said slowly. The words were sour in her mouth. “To help rebuild and be a part of the tribe.” 

There was a flicker of tension in his posture, a flash of distress across his face, there and gone in half a heartbeat. “What are you gonna do?” he asked carefully, his expression painstakingly neutral. She almost laughed at how hard he was trying. 

Odd how it made her feel better, knowing that he didn't like the idea but was willing to avoid pressuring her.  “I’m not sure,” she told him. “I don't want to live with them. A few days of being the Anointed here is already too much.” 

She watched his shoulders relax and his expression ease into a playful grin. “That’s too bad. I already told the Vanguard to refer to you as ‘Your Worship’.” 

Aloy snorted and elbowed him in the side. “I could push you off this bridge right now, you know.” 

“Is ‘Chosen One’ better?” She started shoving him toward the railing and he laughed, holding up his hands. “Okay, okay, I surrender!” he chuckled. “I want to live.” She smiled and let him go. 

They walked for a moment more, her mind spinning inexorably back to her problem. Aloy sighed as her good cheer evaporated.  “I should probably try to help them somehow, though,” she continued. “Rost…” The words squeezed tightly around the sudden lump in her throat. “Rost would have wanted that.”

Erend put an arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze. “Whatever you decide, after all you’ve done I think he would be really proud of you,” he said softly. The lump in Aloy’s throat swelled painfully for a moment, and she leaned into his shoulder until it passed. 

“Thank you,” she said. They reached the end of the bridge and she could see Blameless Marad coming down the spiral steps to meet them. Erend let her go as they approached, and she watched as Marad’s eyes followed the movement, a pensive, almost sly expression flickering across his face. Aloy rolled her eyes. The man seemed to see secrets in the oddest places. 

“Erend, Aloy, good morning,” he said politely. “The Sun King awaits you on the balcony.” 

Avad greeted them when they reached the top of the steps. “My friends. What a pleasure to see you both.” 

“You wanted to speak to me?” Aloy asked. 

“Yes, I had hoped to ask for your help,” he said with a little bow of his head. “Marad has informed me that the Nora have been discussing leaving the city.” 

“Sona would like them to be on their way by the day after tomorrow,” she confirmed. 

Avad looked surprised. “So soon?” 

Aloy offered him a wry smile. “It’s nothing personal. It’s just that your city is Tainted and full of heathens.” 

Erend sputtered laughter and Avad’s careful, polite expression shattered into mirth. 

“Do you think you could convince them to accept our help, blasphemous as we are?” the king asked with a rueful grin. “It is in everyone's best interests to strengthen the ties between our tribes. I would like to offer the Nora assistance; supplies, food, and perhaps a few of my men to help defend them while they rebuild. I wish to send these with your Warchief when she leaves, along with one of my priests as an envoy to the Matriarchs.” He eyed Aloy with concern. “They will not attend an audience with me, let alone discuss assistance. Will you help me?” 

Aloy frowned in thought. This wouldn’t be easy; the Nora were proud, and feelings toward the Carja were still heated.  “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you, Aloy” said Avad with visible relief. “I am curious; will you go with them?”

Aloy’s stomach lurched with renewed vigor. “Well...” she temporized. Though, now that she thought about it, maybe this could work. If she could convince the Nora to agree, Avad’s people would provide supplies and protection while they rebuilt. She could accompany them, maybe help clear out the more dangerous machines, make sure there weren't any corrupted ones left. And when the Sacred Lands were safe, she could leave with the Carja and start work on repairing GAIA. She could help as Rost would have wanted, and then she would have an excuse not to stay.  Yes, this could work. 

She took a breath and nodded to Avad. “Yes. If I can convince them to accept your people, I’ll go too. And I can return when the Carja are no longer needed, maybe escort them out of the Sacred Lands.” 

“Excellent,” Avad smiled. He turned to his Captain of the Vanguard. “Erend, should Aloy be successful, I believe you should go as well.” 

“Me?” Erend gaped. “But, my duties--”

Avad made a calming gesture with one hand. “I’m well aware, my friend. But your fighting skill is considerable, and more importantly the Nora people already know you. You would be a familiar face among strangers, and your personable charm and ability to calm fiery tempers may likely be needed on the journey as well.” Erend’s face was slowly growing redder and redder under his king’s praise. It was oddly adorable. Aloy had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. Poor Erend. His morning was as turned upside down as hers. 

Avad continued, “Your second, Alano, can handle the basics, enforcing schedules and the like in your absence. He proved sufficient while you were away in the Claim. I do not anticipate you will be gone much longer than you were then.” 

Erend ran a hand along the back of his head, looking uncertain. “If you say so..” 

“I think Avad has a good point,” Aloy chimed in. She much preferred to not have to smooth things over between the tribes alone. And...well, she had become fond of his company over the last few days. Teb and Varl were her friends, but it was Erend she felt safest confiding in, who knew enough about GAIA and Zero Dawn to talk with her about them.  She smiled at him, a crooked little grin. “And I’d feel better having you with us.”

Erend’s eyes locked on her, and for half a heartbeat they were bright with that same emotion she’d seen that night in Olin’s apartment. Something squirmed in Aloy’s chest. Then he was back to his usual swagger and his mouth was a sardonic grin.  “Yeah, okay. I can at least make sure no one gets pelted with fruit.” 

Avad laughed. “Perfect!” 

And the three of them got to work ironing out the details. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys! You were all so supportive and kind, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. So I guess I'm going to continue this story if you're all willing to read it. :) I know not much happens in this chapter and I'm sorry. There is better to come, I promise! Just had to get all the pieces into place first. 
> 
> I always appreciate any thoughts or feedback! Have a great week, everyone!


	3. Chapter 3

Erend scowled up at the gray sky, getting a face full of rain for his efforts. He grumbled and wiped his eyes with a gloved hand. 

When he had agreed to go with the Nora he hadn’t expected to start the first day almost immediately soaked to the skin by torrents of rain. With the rain came mud, and the group had spent the morning getting spattered in muck up to their knees while their toes slowly went numb. It was miserable and his temper was fraying rapidly. They would be out of the forest and into the desert by the afternoon, though, and even the prospect of getting abraded by blowing sand was better than this soggy hell. He couldn’t wait to make camp for the night and dry out. 

He glowered at the loud squelching sound of his own boots. A smart man would have stayed in the city, would have sent his second instead like Ersa had with him, would have known better than to go haring off into the wilds just to spend time with someone.  He could have declined Avad’s request, made up some excuse not to go. No, instead Aloy had smiled at him—said she wanted his company!—and he’d been lost. Even now, despite his pruning toes and soggy armor, he couldn’t bring himself to actually  _ regret  _ coming. Fire and spit, he was such a ridiculous, hopeless mess. 

Aloy had convinced the Nora to accept Avad’s help. Of course she had; she was like a force of nature, unstoppable once she set her mind to something. It was no surprise she had convinced them. Well, blackmailed, really. She had insisted the Carja came as a package deal with her return to the Sacred Lands, which had apparently set Sona’s teeth on edge and had her warriors sputtering. He wished he could have been there to see it. Aloy’s smile had been positively feral as she recounted the story to him yesterday. He smiled at the memory. She had been dazzling in the tavern’s lantern light, her hair shining like polished copper and her hazel eyes full of fire as she spoke. 

He shook his head.  _ Damn it! You have to stop thinking like that.   _ The motion sent water dripping from his mohawk to crawl in clammy fingers down the back of his neck. Ugh! Punishment for being a besotted idiot. Erend clenched his teeth. He had to get this under control before Aloy noticed. He’d seen Dervahl with Ersa, saw how uncomfortable the tinker’s unwanted advances had made his sister. He’d rather face a Stormbird alone than do that to Aloy. 

With painful effort he wrenched his attention away from his brooding and focused on the group surrounding him. 

At least the trip was going well so far, despite the weather. The four Carja guardsmen that had come with them seemed to be hitting it off well enough with the Nora warriors. No one was shouting or making death threats, anyway--or throwing fruit. Avad’s chosen envoy, Mournful Namman, was talking with Sona; both seemed completely engrossed in the conversation. Erend took that as a good sign; Sona was so ferocious that he’d half expected her to eat the envoy’s heart on sight. 

Namman had apparently come to Avad’s attention because of something Aloy did. He’d have to ask her about it when he had the chance. Namman was quiet and introspective, without the usual pomp and bluster most priests seemed to have, and had a subtle sense of humor. Erend already liked him more than Irid, the priest he had escorted last time. If Namman got on with the Matriarchs as well as he was with Sona, this crazy idea of Avad’s could actually work. 

If he could just get his head straight. 

Beside him Aloy grumbled something, looking just as miserable in the wet as Erend. She was talking to Varl; ever stoic despite the discomfort he must surely be feeling. He was an amiable guy though, Erend thought, struck from good steel. Beside Varl was the skinny Nora named Teb, a “stitcher,” whatever that meant--Erend still wasn’t sure if the title referred to clothes or people. He and his fellow tribesman were friendly, though, and the four of them had been swapping stories to pass the long hours of travel. 

He liked them. They were good people. That was the trouble, really. It was a constant reminder of what a useless drunk he was. How could he possibly compare?

Aloy seemed to enjoy their company too. Varl clearly thought very highly of her, and while he sometimes appeared to struggle with her status as Anointed, he was obviously trying very hard to make Aloy comfortable. Teb, too, was openly fond of her, constantly praising her ability. Erend tried not to notice way they would look at her sometimes, tried to ignore their occasional hungry glances in Aloy’s direction. He tried to keep his mind off the fact that eventually she would probably disappear from his life. He didn’t want to think about the possibility of never seeing her again. It was far more depressing than the weather. 

But he couldn’t bring himself to pull away either, even though he knew he should. 

Erend had been attracted to Aloy from the minute he saw her. He had eyes, after all. She had been full of fire and purpose during their first conversation, which was even more appealing, but that was all; she’d been a bright, pretty girl he wanted to get to know better. Then she had been so canny, so capable and intelligent as she pieced together what Dervahl had done, had taken the mad tinker down single-handedly while Erend’s overconfident, stupid ass had been writhing on the ground in agony. She had gone from attractive to absolutely incredible, smashing every assumption he’d had about her, and the crush he’d been nursing fled to the back of his mind in utter shame. He’d assumed it would wither and die eventually, and that would be the end of it. 

Except the stupid thing had come roaring back to life like a fire doused in oil that night in Olin’s apartment. He had started to really get to know Aloy, to see what an amazing and complex person she was, and his affection grew with every minute he spent in her company. It was all he could do to keep it from spilling over to where she could see. He loved her dry, sardonic sense of humor. He loved how smart she was, so determined and strong. And she was brave, so incredibly brave.

She would smile at him, or laugh at one of his stupid jokes, or take time to share a quiet conversation alone together, and his heart would turn to molten steel in his chest. 

He was inexorably falling in love with Aloy and there was no way she would ever, ever want him. 

Erend sighed. He wanted a mug of brew. He wanted six; a dozen. He wanted to disappear into the warm haze of drunkenness and let his mind go numb. Except that lately even the thought of drinking reminded him of Ersa, of her her broken, dying body cradled in his arms.  _ You’re going to have to grow up fast. _ The grief that seemed to perpetually gnaw on his heart sank its teeth in deep and twisted. 

No, brew wasn’t going to help him. He would just have to stick it out, endure it like a wound in battle. Aloy would never want him as a lover, but she had called him her friend, and Erend would throw himself off the palace mesa before he let anything happen to that. 

So he spent the rest of the afternoon telling ridiculous stories of his Vanguardsmen when it was his turn for a story—they got up enough stunts back in their freebooter days and during holiday parties that he could talk for a week. 

It was worth it, he thought, the wet and cold and heartache, if he could at least bring a smile to Aloy’s somber face. 

_______________________

Aloy finished tying the last pieces of ridgewood together and surveyed her handiwork with a satisfied smile. She had rigged a makeshift drying rack for her armor and the leathers she’d been wearing all day, and a night next to the smoldering embers of the cookfire should dry them out nicely. She was in dry clothes for the first time all day, and she could finally relax and enjoy some quiet.

The Namman and the Carja men had pitched their tents and already retired for the night, with the exception of the one named Nasheed, who was taking first watch. A few paces away Sona and the rest of the Nora were laying out their bedrolls in neat rows, preparing to bed down.

Varl waved to her as she stood up. “Aloy, come join us.” His smooth features were lit by moonglow as he smiled at her.  Aloy tried not to grimace.  _ This is awkward.  _

“Um.. No thank you, Varl,” she said, hoping her expression looked apologetic. “I’d like to be alone for a while.” 

His shoulders drooped, but he nodded without complaint. “Alright. Rest well then, Aloy.” 

Aloy grabbed her bedroll and made her escape. She had been around them all day, talking for hours! Sleeping next to them too, people shuffling and breathing all around her--it was too much. She hadn’t realized how much work it would be to have them around constantly. How were they not exhausted from it all the time? 

She made her way around the half-circle shape of their camp to the other side of the Carja tents. To her surprise, Erend was sitting on his bedroll several paces away from the tents. She had figured he would sleep with the Carja. His pack was in his lap and his helmet in his hands. He was running his hands over the metal, frowning. 

  
She sat down across from him.  _ I just told Varl I wanted to be alone, but— _ “What did your helmet do that you’re trying to glare a hole in it like that?” 

“What?” he said, startled. Then he shook his head, smiling ruefully. “No, I was just thinking about Ersa. This—this was hers.” 

“Oh.” For a moment Aloy worried she had overstepped. But Erend just smiled and gestured to her bedroll. 

“Not sleeping with the others either, huh?” 

She shook her head and decided it was safe to be frank with him. “I spent all day with them. And I’m not used to sleeping around a lot of people.” 

“Yeah, I can imagine. Well,” he waved his arm at the ground next to him, “you’re welcome to stay here if you want. I promise not to talk your ear off.”  

“Thanks.” Aloy’s stomach did a weird little flip and she felt herself smiling without really knowing why. Being around him wasn’t exhausting like the others, though, and she liked the idea of continuing their evening talks together, even while on the road. So she unrolled her bedroll and laid it out a foot or two away from Erend’s and sat down on it, hugging her knees. 

They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes; Erend carefully wiping down the helmet and eventually putting it away in his pack, Aloy watching him absently as he worked. He wasn’t wearing his gloves or armor, and his bare hands were oddly fascinating to her. She wanted to reach out and take one, to run her fingers over the calluses and tendons, the soft pads of his palms. She frowned into her knees. That was a ridiculous thing to want. What was wrong with her? 

Her mind went to the first thing she could think of as a distraction. “So, you wear Ersa’s helmet? The one we found at Red Ridge Pass?” 

“Yeah,” he stretched himself out on his bedroll, folding his arms behind his head and staring up at the sky in thought. “I never used to wear one, still don’t like how they feel, but—I guess it’s kind of an Oseram thing. When you—” his voice tightened on the words, “lose someone—it helps to keep something of theirs; something they made or they used every day. My clan used to say, ‘Something with a piece of their soul in it.’”

Aloy followed his example and lay back. Clouds had passed in front of the moon, the inky darkness broken only by the few stars that managed to peek through.  “So it’s a way of always honoring her memory?”

“Kind of, yeah. The Vanguard were everything to her; keeping the peace, protecting Meridian, helping Avad. And—” he took a slow breath, his voice thick with grief. “She was always looking out for me, ever since we were kids. With this it’s like—it’s like she still is, a little.” 

“I think she would have liked that.” Without really thinking about it, she rolled to her side and reached for him. He still had his head resting on his arms, and she ended up awkwardly patting his elbow. She cringed and hoped he would blame her fumbling on the darkness. 

  
“Thanks, Aloy,” he said softly. She could hear the smile in his voice and her nerves eased as she lay back again. They slipped back into companionable silence for a time, and Aloy found herself slowly drifting toward sleep as the clouds crossed the stars. 

“Do you have anything from Rost?” Erend’s voice was low, barely breaking the silence.

“Not something of his,” she said slowly. She felt strangely peaceful talking about Rost, for once. The grief was still there, but the usual crushing wave of it that came whenever she talked about him couldn’t quite seem to reach her in this quiet, starry darkness. Her hands reached for the cord of leather around her neck.  “He gave me this pendant the day before the Proving. It—it’s special to me, but it’s also a reminder of a lot of painful memories.” She wished, as she often did, that her sharpest memory of him wasn’t the moment before he died. 

Erend made a sound full of chagrin, “I’m sorry.” 

“Thank you,” she murmured, running the smooth, carved wood between her fingers. 

The conversation lapsed again, and her tired mind floated across memories of growing up with Rost; the first time she’d hit a bullseye on a training dummy, her first machine kill, the first time she’d hunted for their dinner. She could picture him, his face alight with pride, his hand reaching out to grasp her arm as he’d done so many times before, the boar skin on his shoulder overshadowed by the heavy bow he always carried. 

The bow he always carried... 

She sat up slowly, one hand still clutching the pendant. “His bow,” she said aloud. 

“Hmm?” The dark lumpy shape beside her startled and sat up. “Whose bow?” Erend’s voice was muzzy; he must have been mostly asleep.

“Rost had a sharpshot bow ever since I was little. I don’t know where he got it. Maybe while he was away Deathseeking, or he made it himself. I don’t know. It doesn’t really matter.” She turned to face Erend, a strange combination of joy and grief making her eyes sting. “He always carried it with him. Maybe I—if it’s still there, I could—” His features were barely lit shadows in the darkness, but she could see he was grinning from ear to ear. 

“Yeah. I think that’s perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the second half of this chapter was entirely caused by the obsessive New Game + playthrough I'm working on at the moment (I can quit this game any time, I swear! o_o). I noticed that Erend only wears that helmet after Fields of the Fallen, and it's identical to the one he finds and says belonged to Ersa. I'm sure the game devs figured they just had matching helmets, or didn't feel like designing another one, but I thought it would be nice if Erend was keeping Ersa's. That and some of the dialogue in Honor the Fallen got me thinking about how the Oseram deal with grief. Thus, my wonky little headcanon!
> 
> I hope this chapter was okay. Thank you all so much for all the kind words and feedback you've been giving! You're all so sweet and I love you! I always appreciate that you take the time to comment. It makes my entire week!


	4. Chapter 4

“So, you’ve hunted pretty much everything, right? What’s your favorite machine to tackle?”

Aloy’s hair was frosted with silver fire in the dim glow of the moon. Each time she shifted the cool light would glimmer enticingly, copper and steel. Erend watched her frown in thought, her chin resting on her knees as she hugged them. “Favorite machine?” she mused. 

It was their third night on the road to the Sacred Lands, and much to Erend’s delight they had kept up their routine of finding a quiet corner of the camp to lay out their bedrolls and talk quietly together. He knew Aloy was just trying to avoid the Nora, but he would take anything he could get. And these moments with her, just the two of them—he loved them; these quiet, intimate conversations in the soft satin cloak of darkness. She had become such a staple in his life, he thought. It was frightening how quickly it had happened, and he tried not to think about how tenuous it all was. Losing this closeness with her was going to ache like a hammer blow. 

Aloy tilted her head, still mulling his question. “Grazers maybe? They’re easy. One fire arrow and boom.” She mimed an explosion with her hands. Erend had to stamp down the urge to take one of them, to press his lips to the calloused pads of her fingertips. He craved her touch as badly as he’d ever craved a pint of brew. But no, she didn’t want that, and he couldn’t bear to make her uncomfortable. So instead, he smiled and nudged her shoulder with his forearm. 

“Aw, come on, no Thunderjaws? Not even a Trampler or something? I thought you were the Chosen One—Ow!” Damn, her elbows were sharp. Erend massaged his ribs with a rueful grin. 

Aloy was rolling her eyes. “I’m going to  _ choose _ to shove you off a bridge.” 

“None of those until Nora territory,” he laughed. “Looks like I’m safe.”

“For now,” she said with mock severity. Her eyes were narrowed in a predatory glare. “But I’m patient.”

Erend grinned and nudged her again. “Nah, you’d miss me when I was gone.” 

Aloy tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. “I would,” she said. 

Heat rushed down Erend’s spine and for a heartbeat his imagination went wild. 

_ Keep it together. _

He cleared his throat. It did absolutely nothing to clear his damned mind. “So, uh—your turn.”

“Hmm…” Aloy stared out at the dim, moonlit horizon. Erend waited for her to think and used the time to sneak a long look at her. He admired her profile, the high lines of her cheekbones, the movement of her eyebrows as she scrunched her face in thought, her generous mouth as it moved, the moonlight reflecting in her eyes, the way—

“Erend?”

_ Shit! _

He’d been staring at her like a besotted idiot while she’d asked her question. Panic clutched at his chest.  He had to keep it together or she was going to find out! He coughed and tried to force his face into something neutral. 

“Uh, sorry, what did you say?” 

“I was asking you your favorite place you’ve ever been, but apparently you were already a thousand miles away.” She was staring at him intently, one eyebrow raised, and his chest cinched a little tighter.

“Favorite place?” _Here with you._ He bit the inside of his cheek. _Get a grip!_ “Uh.. Meridian?” he said lamely.  

Aloy’s eyes narrowed at him, and for half a heartbeat he was absolutely certain she had figured him out. He scrambled for some excuse to—.  Her eyes abruptly unfocused and she raised her hand to the device on her head, surprise written across her features. 

“What is it?” he asked. 

“One of Elizabet’s files,” Aloy said slowly, distracted. She was staring at nothing, reaching out like she was touching something invisible. Maybe she was. “My Focus has been repairing them. One just finished.” She made a twisting motion into empty air and sat spellbound, completely engrossed in whatever unseen thing the device was showing her. 

Erend let out his breath in a long, heavy sigh. He lay down on his bedroll, awash in an unsettling mixture of relief and sorrow. She’d been distracted away from his fumbling, yes, and his heart was no longer climbing up into his throat. But wistful might-have-beens still flirted across his imagination. Maybe if he’d tried harder to be something other than a useless drunk for so long, maybe if he’d listened to Ersa more, he’d have had a chance to be worthy of Aloy. Erend squeezed his eyes shut and turned away from her. 

Watching Aloy lost in the incomprehensible workings of her Focus… It was just another reminder that no matter how close he felt to her, no matter how much he cared or wanted her, she was really, always, entirely out of his reach. 

————————

The day was gray and gloomy, as if deliberately mirroring Aloy’s mood. 

They had passed through the main Embrace gate--what was left of it--and begun the long ascent up the mountain toward Mother’s Heart. Aloy should have felt relief that the end to this tedious journey was in sight. She was used to traveling quickly and alone, and the pace they had kept up for the last five days was a comparative crawl. She should be delighted to finally arrive. Instead, her mood soured a little more with each footfall, and she found herself wanting nothing more than to vanish into the forest. 

“There are places along that ridge that would be excellent ground to build a cabin. And they are close to Mother’s Heart.”  Varl had been at her side all morning, his brooding and furrowed brow having entirely disappeared now that they were back within sight of All Mother. This newfound cheerful exuberance about how wonderful the Sacred Lands were, how wanted she would be, how needed--ugh, the whole thing made Aloy’s stomach clench with anger.

There was no escape, either. Teb was seeing to Sona--the war chief had managed to tear her stitches  _ again _ \--and Erend was being pelted with questions by the Carja. The other Nora braves had kept their distance the entire journey, too awestruck and reverent to speak with her directly. There was no one to help her shift the conversation to something less infuriating. 

“There is a hunting festival in late summer that I think you will enjoy.” Varl was saying, and began waxing eloquent about the holiday, but Aloy only listened with half an ear. She watched Erend from the corner of her eye, noting the way he gestured with his hands, and how his expressive face flickered emotion. He was missing the broad smile that was so common when the he and Aloy spoke alone, and a tiny, odd sort of hope kindled in her heart. 

He was so hard to read sometimes. They would be talking together, joking or sharing ideas, and everything would be so comfortable and safe and—and then at some point Erend’s expression would abruptly shutter closed, like the joy had drained right out of him, leaving behind something uncomfortable and serious. 

And that—seeing that—hurt. It  _ hurt _ , and Aloy couldn’t fully explain why. 

Erend had always been completely honest with her, and those sudden shifts in his expression somehow felt like lies. Why would he lie to her? What was he even lying about? Enjoying himself? Did he not enjoy her company? Aloy wanted him to. She wanted it badly enough that it was a little disconcerting, honestly. Usually she didn’t really care about what other people thought of her. 

But Erend—the way she felt around him was different than for her other friends. Her affection for him kept shifting, going deeper, like exploring the depths of a ruin from the Old Ones—each turn of a corner would reveal something new to be explored. Aloy hadn’t found the end of it yet; there was still more there for her to uncover, and part of her was exhilarated to see where each new turn lead her. 

But another part of her was oddly afraid for some reason. The fear would chill her lungs each time Erend’s face would go still and solemn. Ice crept up her spine each time she would notice his fingers start to reach toward her and then abruptly stop. 

The fear and hurt were similar to the heartbreaking rejection of living as an Outcast; close but not quite the same. Just as her affection for Erend reminded Aloy more in some ways to how she felt about Rost than her feelings for Varl or Avad or Teb. 

What did that mean? Why would—

“Aloy? Did you hear me?” 

“Hmm?” She had completely forgotten about Varl. 

He was looking exasperated with her.

“I said we’re here.” He waved a hand in front of them. 

Aloy looked up and immediately sighed. “I should have figured our arrival in Mother’s Heart would be a big deal,” she muttered. 

Their group had met hunters and braves along their route through the Sacred Lands, so it made sense that word of their arrival would have been passed along ahead of them. After all, the Seekers who’d gone to fight a Metal Devil that had tried to destroy the world were coming home. With the Anointed, an Oseram, and a bunch of Carja in tow. Of  _ course  _ every Nora who heard about it would be starving to know more. 

So she really shouldn’t be shocked to see the village boiling over with curiosity. 

It was horrible, though, which wasn’t shocking at all.

They were immediately surrounded, completely enveloped by the crowd as they passed through the gates. People cheered and thanked the Goddess, some sounded angry and hurled questions or accusations at the outlanders, and some reached out to touch the returned Seekers and their Anointed. Hands grazed her arms, fingers grasped along her shoulders as they walked, and Aloy’s skin crawled. 

“Stop!” she shouted, but her voice was buried under the cacophony of the crowd, and she was pressed so tightly against Varl in the crush of bodies that there was nowhere to retreat. 

It was Teersa and the other High Matriarchs that finally saved them. 

The three women parted the crowd like a hawk in a flock of geese. Almost instantly the roaring voices all around Aloy settled into listening silence. Sona strode forward to the front of their odd little group.    
  
“High Matriarchs,” she said with a little bow, “We have destroyed the Metal Devil and its followers.” The crowd erupted in cheers and fists were raised all around them. “In his gratitude for our help, the Carja king has given us food and supplies.” Aloy watched Sona hesitate.  _ Oh no you don’t.   _

“Sun King Avad has also offered some of his most trusted soldiers to help keep the Sacred Lands safe,” Aloy said loudly, making sure her voice carried. She gestured to the men in question. “He also sent envoys to discuss the bonds between the tribes.” 

Sona frowned and she felt Verl stiffen beside her. The crowd buzzed with whispers and muttering, but Teersa cut them off. 

“The Sun King is generous. It would be foolish to reject such kindly offered gifts out of pride.” The old woman’s eyes met those of individuals in the crowd, as if daring them to refute her. By her side, Jezza was nodding agreement and Lansra scowled. 

The Matriarchs were briskly efficient. They quickly divided the group, sending the injured to the healers, while the rest were given food and water and offered a place to rest. The outlanders were offered one of the empty bedhouses, while the other Nora either sought their own homes or another temporary bed until they could return to their own village. 

Aloy spoke little during all of this busy efficiency, only enough to formally introduce Namman to Teersa and to tell the Matriarch of her own plans. Then, as everyone was bedding down for the night, she slipped away, out of the village and into the wilds of the Embrace. Aloy couldn’t bear to stay in one of their bedhouses. It was too confining, too crowded.

Too much like the night before the Proving. Too easy to remember Rost disappearing in fire and agony and-- 

Aloy wiped her eyes and followed the main path south to where a smaller one branched off, ascending the mountain again. It wasn’t home anymore, the cabin she had shared with Rost. It was cold and hollow without him, and his loss seemed to lodge in her bones. But she would rather sleep there, alone, with only her grief for company, than try to sleep surrounded by the tribe that made her so confused and unhappy. 

————————

“Well?” Erend said with a wry expression, “home sweet home?”

Kama, the veteran of the four Carja men and the de facto leader, smiled. “Far more comfortable than we expected, Captain.” 

The others were removing their armor and testing the beds. Nasheed, the youngest, fluffed his pillow with enthusiasm. “Yeah, these savages aren’t half bad.”  Vikko and Ravi snickered from their own bunks. 

Kama reached over and cuffed the kid on the back of the head. “I’d better not hear you call them that again, you lard. We represent the Carja, and Sun King Avad himself.”

Nasheed slumped in contrition. “Yes, sir.” 

“Is there anywhere we can bathe, Erend?” asked Vikko. He picked at his tunic with a look of disgust. “I would like to remove the half of the desert that came with me.” 

Erend could feel his eyebrows rising. “Marad didn’t tell you about the bathhouses?”

Kama shook his head. “What about them?”

“Nothing but cold water?” asked Ravi. 

“Well, yeah, that too. You’re not going to get an Oseram steam heater way out here, but that’s not what I meant.” Erend pinched the bridge of his nose. “The Nora… They don’t really care about people seeing them.” He was saying this all wrong. “They don’t—” how was he supposed to explain this? “—-they don’t have a taboo on nudity, okay? Seeing someone naked isn’t a big deal to them. So their bathhouses are a shared thing too, like the bedhouses; just a big room. Men and women.”

The guardsmen gaped at him in unison. Namman hid a chuckle behind his hand. Vikko’s face was slowly losing all its color. 

Erend tried to feign confidence he didn’t feel. “It isn’t that much different than the barracks’ washroom back home. Just find a corner and—and keep your eyes to yourself.” 

“The barracks doesn’t have any naked woman!” Ravi squeaked. 

Namman spoke quietly from behind them, “We must respect the Nora’s ways, and—”

The rest of the Carja all began frantically talking at once. Erend sighed. 

It was going to be a long night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry, guys! This chapter is so late. Everything in my life kind of happened at once. I had family visiting, then a wedding to attend, and then our hot water heater broke and flooded everywhere and we're STILL cleaning that up. So I'm really sorry I let this go so long. I'll have another chapter up within a few days to make up for the wait. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, guys! And as always any feedback is most welcome. 
> 
> Also, who's excited for the DLC???? I'm so excited!


	5. Chapter 5

Morning found Aloy cold and alone in aching emptiness.

There was no motion in the little cabin besides her own, no sound, no warmth but that of her own body. It was all echoing silence, every noise she made seeming loud as a shout, reverberating overly long in the utter stillness. 

Aloy crept from her bed the moment it was light. She forced her eye past the empty bunk across from her and began picking through her own belongings for anything useful. There were a few spare clothes she’d left behind, a few bits of wire and some metal shards, a few tiny bottles of salves and ointments that were still fresh. This would be the last time she stood in this house, so she may as well make the best of it. 

Still avoiding looking at Rost’s bed, Aloy packed her new supplies in with her other gear and slung it onto her back. She closed her eyes and took a slow, deep breath. The cabin still smelled faintly like the childhood home she remembered so well; sweet pine sap and dusky woodsmoke, the strong, rich scent of tanned leather, and the acidic tang of dried herbs. Drowning everything, though, was the stale, stuffy odor of dust and mildew. The home she remembered so fondly was gone, reduced to dried old bones. 

She squared her shoulders and opened her eyes.  It was time to move on. Brooding wasn’t going to bring Rost back. 

It was uncomfortable, stepping into the little nook behind Rost’s bed. He had kept his things there, hung neatly on the wall. His hunting bow was missing. That bow had saved her life, and its shattered remains were reverently laid out on the grave outside. But hanging there still, its heavy recurves sweeping out like wings, was Rost’s sharpshot bow. 

  
Aloy carefully lifted it off its hook and quickly made her way out of the house. It was too hollow in there, too dead, and she couldn’t bear being in there a moment longer than necessary. She made her way to Rost’s grave and knelt there, as she had a few times before. Speaking slowly and thoughtfully, she told him everything about what she had discovered and the fight to save the world. It felt good to say she’d been able to take down his killer, that he was avenged at long last and his beloved homeland was safe. It felt good, but none of it seemed to fill the aching void he’d left behind. 

Eventually she ran out of words. She got stiffly to her feet and gave her childhood home one last, long look. Then she turned, looked away from the reminders of her loss and grief, and faced the morning sun as it crested over All Mother Mountain. She took a deep, steadying breath. She would need to have her head together when she reached Mother’s Watch. 

Aloy reached for Rost’s bow and carefully blew the dust off the feathers and beadwork. The grip felt good. Molded with long years of use, it fit against her palm neatly, like it belonged there. Like a large, familiar, callused hand tucked into hers. She ran her other hand along the bow’s length, tested the draw, felt the strength of the bowstring. Unbidden came the memory of Rost’s hands alongside hers, showing her how to hold her bow for the first time. Aloy smiled. 

_ Something with a piece of his soul in it.  _

Erend had been right. This was a good idea, and she couldn't wait to talk to him about it.

Her eyes still stung, and her lungs were tight with grief, but for the first time in months Aloy was able to think of Rost and smile. 

————————

Erend forced himself not to frown. 

He had never wanted a mug of brew so badly. He wanted to disappear into the warm haze of drunkenness, to drown his crushing uselessness in alcohol until it was nothing but a dim glimmer in the back of his mind. 

It was his third morning in Mother’s Heart. For the third day in a row he was stuck at a table with Namman and the High Matriarchs, listening to them go back and forth endlessly about minutiae. Today’s topic of discussion was identifying a mutually agreed upon landmark to designate as the official start of the Sacred Land’s western border. That had been agonizing. They had finally settled on an area south and a little east of Hunter’s Gathering, where several roads crossed a stream, but had been debating  _ where  _ along the stream for over an hour now. Erend was about ready to dam up the whole thing if it meant the end of these meetings. 

Hammer to steel, he was completely useless here. 

Namman was getting along surprisingly well with the Nora Matriarchs. He was patient, persuasive but humble, and exceedingly respectful of Nora traditions. Lansra still mistrusted him, but Teersa and Jezza had liked him immediately and consistently overruled her. Erend didn’t have the authority or detailed knowledge of Avad’s political needs to negotiate anything himself. He’d been tasked with acting as a kind of buffer, to calm any anger between the tribes. But Namman had things well in hand by himself, it seemed. Erend was completely extraneous.

Nor was there anywhere else he could help, apparently. The tribe as a whole seemed grudgingly appreciative of the help from the Carja guardsmen. They had accepted their aid with minimal grumbling, so long as the Carja were polite and stayed where they were asked.  Kama was currently manning the watchtower in Mother’s Rise, with the other three doing the same at each of the three Embrace gates. The tribe didn’t want them any further away, or any closer; the idea of outlanders guarding Mother’s Watch was practically blaspheme. So there would be no guard duty for Erend. 

Worse, the Nora were also adamantly against having any outlander cutting their wood or building their structures. Those tasks were for Nora hands alone, apparently. So he wasn't needed there either. Which meant he just… sat, useless. And bored. He already knew he was useless! He didn't need endless free time to contemplate it for hours on end. Ugh. And there wasn’t even brew to help him forget at the end of the day. The Nora only brought it out for special occasions. Erend longed for a tavern. 

He shuddered a profound sigh of relief when they finally,  _ finally _ , stopped for the day. Thank the forge the Matriarchs had other duties to attend to this afternoon. He made his way to one of the railings that lined the steep paths of Mother’s Heart and leaned against it, looking out over the rest of the village. He let out his breath in a long, heavy sigh, hoping some of his misery might go with it. 

Maybe he really should have stayed in Meridian, he thought. He could be drilling his men, maybe helping rebuild the city. Loneliness clutched at his heart at the thought. Maybe he would be useful back at home, but staying would have cost him the week he spent getting to know Aloy better. He could stomach a heap of misery if it meant being close to Aloy.

Not that that was going terribly well either. Erend sighed again and ran a hand through his mohawk. He’d been locked away in so many meetings that he hadn’t seen much more than a glimpse or two of Aloy since they’d arrived in the village. Most word of her came through Varl. According to him, she would flit into the village, talk with Varl or his braves, and flit right back out. Erend hoped her machine hunting was going better than his lot, at least. But fire and spit he missed her company. He missed the easy camaraderie they shared, the teasing jokes, the quiet talks together at night, how even when the conversation occasionally lapsed the silence was still comfortable, somehow. 

Maybe all the enjoyment had only been one-sided, he thought with a groan. Varl was probably much more interesting to talk to anyway.

Ah well, no sense in going all mopey when he had the rest of the afternoon free. Surely there was something he could find to occupy his time. He made his way down the path into the village proper. Maybe he could find someone to run an errand for at least. Even that would be better than sitting on his ass all day tomorrow.  Erend turned a corner and spotted a patch of fiery red out of the corner of his eye. His head turned of its own accord and his pulse jumped with sudden recognition. Aloy was just ahead of him, moving purposefully among the tribesfolk. Without thinking he broke into a jog after her. 

“Aloy!”

Her face brightened when she turned and recognized him, and it was painfully hard to keep his feelings in check.  _ Stop seeing things that aren’t there. She’s never going to want you that way. You should be on your ass thanking the forge that she’s your friend, idiot, don’t mess this up!  _ The litany was well practiced by now, the ache in his chest a familiar companion.

She smiled as he came to a stop in front of her. “I was hoping I’d see you before I left,” she said, and heat raced down Erend’s limbs. “You’re a difficult person to find these days, what with all your important meetings.” 

He huffed a laugh. “The meetings are important, but nothing I do is. Surprising, I know. I’m just warming a chair at this point. Namman has this envoy thing down pat and doesn’t need me at all.” He sighed and tried to look long suffering. “If I have to sit doing nothing through another four hour discussion about the relative value of boar skins, or which rock is the official start of the Sacred Land, I’m going to jump off this damned mountain.”

Aloy smirked and rested a hand on one hip. “Enjoying it that much, huh?”

“I’d rather have guard duty on the latrine,” he groaned, and was rewarded with a laugh from her. It was really rather pathetic how happy that made him. By the forge, he had missed her. Erend took in her gear, gesturing to her full arrow quiver and the bow slung across her back. “So, you’re headed back out hunting?”

She nodded. “I’ve cleared out the dangerous machines south of here. Just a pack of Scrappers and some Longlegs. Varl spotted a Sawtooth in the valley below Mother’s Rise last night, so I was about to—”

“Let me come with you!” he blurted. His mouth had opened before he could stop himself. The desperation in his voice was embarrassing, but he was past caring.

Her eyebrows rose in surprise, then one slowly crept back down. “And keep you from your meetings?” she said with a teasing grin. 

“Please, Aloy! I need to do something useful. Steep drop-offs are starting to look enticing!” 

That made her laugh and Erend’s heart beat faster. “Okay, okay. You can come with me,” she said, her eyes dancing. “I can’t have you hurling yourself off cliffs. It would make a mess, and besides, I’m fond of your company.” Aloy backed toward one of the merchant stalls, still smiling. She gestured with one hand. “I have to get some supplies. Why don’t you go get your gear and I’ll meet you at the village gate?” 

_ Fond?! _

“Okay,” he breathed, dazed.

His treacherous heart  _ lurched _ , flinging hopeful feelings everywhere at him.  _ Stop that! _ He grit his teeth and clamped down on his emotions as hard as he could, crushing them under a mental boot heel.  _ She was just teasing you. The last thing she wants is you getting all creepy on her, making goo-goo eyes. Get a grip! _

Aloy was already out of sight by the time he got himself together. 

Not wanting to waste another moment, he rushed back to the Carja bedhouse and found Namman. He quickly told the priest he would be helping Aloy for a few days—-sure that was a bit of a stretch, but he’d find  _ something  _ else to do even if Aloy didn’t need him after today. To Erend’s relief, Namman readily agreed and even wished him well on his hunting! Erend packed his things faster than he had since before the Liberation, and raced back down the hill to the village gates, taking the steps two at a time.

Aloy was already waiting for him, her own pack slung across her shoulders. 

“Ready?” she asked. 

“Let’s go evict a Sawtooth,” Erend grinned. 

They left the village at a brisk walk, and Aloy started in on a story about the night before her Proving and a Sawtooth she had killed. It was desperately hard to keep his stupid feelings under control as he listened to her.  Erend’s trator heart was still flopping around his ribcage, spurred on by every little smile and hint of a laugh from her. _Keep it together!_ he kept telling himself, stamping each wistful thought down like a noxious weed. _Don’t ruin this!_ _Stop being greedy and just enjoy her company._ But, oh, it was hard. 

It was so, so hard. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is short. It was originally going to include a couple more scenes, but Erend wouldn't stop angsting all over the place when I got to his bit. Erend! Stoppit! I'm trying to get you alone time with Aloy! Why are you like this?! 
> 
> Anyway, the good news is that since this chapter got split up the next piece will be done fairly quickly. :)
> 
> In other news, I finally have hot water again, and it is the BEST and I will never take a hot shower for granted ever, ever again. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for the comments and kudos! They are always the highlight of my day. Have a great rest of your week, guys! :)


	6. Chapter 6

The Sawtooth was prowling a small, open field, devoid of cover, accompanied by a trio of Watchers.

Erend followed precisely in Aloy’s footprints as she threaded her way through a patch of tall grass, marveling at her ability to move in absolute silence. She crept toward the closest Watcher, her Focus somehow telling her where the machine would go before it went there. When she neared the end of their patch of grass, she leaned back and whispered in Erend’s ear, “If we get this one quietly we can take out the other two before the Sawtooth realizes we’re here.” 

He nodded and tried not to shiver at the feel of her warm breath on his cheek. He adjusted his grip on his heavy warbow, an arrow already notched and ready to draw. Electric anticipation skittered down his veins. 

The Watcher ambled right up along the edge of the grass, and in one graceful, fluid motion, Aloy leapt up with her spear and gutted it with barely a sound. Fire and spit, she was amazing! The other machines hadn’t detected a thing. She shot him a satisfied grin, readied her bow, and drew back a shot. He followed her lead, taking careful aim at one of the remaining Watchers, and let fly.  Both machines shuddered and dropped within a heartbeat of each other, and Erend’s pulse leapt. That couldn’t have been more perfect! 

But there wasn’t time to celebrate. The Sawtooth, alerted by the deaths of its companions, had spotted them. Its eyes flared angry red as it roared and charged. 

Almost as one, they both ducked their heads and leapt away in opposite directions. Erend grabbed frantically at his quiver, notched an arrow and loosed it at the machine’s head. It snarled and angled it’s charge right at him. 

_ Oh shit _ .

He threw himself out of its way and back into the grass, whirling to notch another arrow, when the armor on the Sawtooth’s back roared into a sudden fireball. For half a heartbeat he could see Aloy behind the creature, bow string still quivering from the fire arrows she had just loosed. She looked so incredibly confident, fierce and predatory, absolutely  _ unstoppable. _ She was the most beautiful thing imaginable. A roaring wave of heat raced through Erend’s veins. 

Then the Sawtooth was turning, it was charging at Aloy. Erend shouted. Aloy rolled out of the way, let the machine’s momentum hurtle it past her. She leapt to her feet and sprinted in Erend’s direction. Erend threw himself out of her path as she raced toward him through the grass, the Sawtooth hot on her heels. He had to get that thing off her back! He reached for his hammer. 

The Sawtooth was nearly on her. Aloy dropped and rolled past Erend, diving away.  _ Now!  _ He surged up out of the grass just as the Sawtooth was about to pass him, swinging his war hammer up and under the machine’s jaw with all his strength. Sparks flew. Metal shrieked. The impact shuddered up the handle, through Erend’s wrists, making his teeth shake. The Sawtooth bellowed as its head snapped backward. Its head showered sparks as it reeled and collapsed on its side, momentarily stunned. 

Erend raised his hammer for another swing. He could get one more good hit in before— 

A  _ whuff _ of displaced air passed his ear, and a fire arrow lodged in the blaze canister on the Sawtooth’s exposed underbelly. 

Erend blinked, then a wild grin split his face.  _ Fire and spit, she’s so incredible! _ He scrambled away as fast as he could. The Sawtooth roared to its feet, flailing its claws—and promptly exploded. 

The charred corpse slumped to the ground in a heap, the grass surrounding it scorched and smoking. 

“Hah!” Erend grinned, making his way over to where Aloy crouched on her knees. “We did it!” He reached down for her hand and helped her to her feet. “That was an amazing shot.” It took all his willpower to let her hand go.

Aloy dusted herself off and picked up her bow. “Thanks. You made the opening for it, though.” She offered him a crooked smile. “We make a pretty good team.”

“Yeah!” He should be controlling himself, hammering his feelings into shape like iron on an anvil. But for the moment he didn’t care. He basked in her words, savoring them, tucking them away in his heart against the day she eventually moved on and out of his life. 

“So,” said Aloy, tilting her head, “there’s still a lot of territory north and east of here. It will probably take a few days to clear it out. You want to keep going? Or have you had enough of machine hunting?” 

“Are you kidding?” Erend grinned. “Quit after just that little warm up?” 

Aloy favored him with a sly smile, “You’ll be missing all those meetings, though. I know how much you liked them.”  

“It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make,” he laughed, dramatically pressing a hand to his chest. “Somehow I’ll manage to spend days suffering in the company of a pretty girl without dy—hey!”

She shoved his arm with both hands. “Oh shut up. Don’t make me regret bringing you,” she said, laughing, already moving to loot the Sawtooth for parts. “I can still find a bridge somewhere,” she said over her shoulder. 

Erend laughed, heading to retrieve their packs where they’d left them. His steps felt so light! Like he wasn’t even wearing armor. Days, she had said! The grin on his face was making his jaw ache. He would be getting to spend days alone in Aloy’s company, helping her, seeing her in action. 

He looked over his shoulder at Aloy as she moved from machine to machine, stripping each one neatly. By the forge, she was even beautiful when doing something as simple as harvesting parts. The graceful, practiced motions of her hands, the frown of concentration on her face, he—

Oh shit. He was truly, hopelessly in love. It was going to take every scrap of willpower for him to keep from burdening her with his infatuation. 

Still.. Erend squared his shoulders. He was going to be useful. He would be there to watch her back in a fight. That alone was worth any amount of pain or longing. Erend smiled as he watched her.

Aloy was worth everything he had. 

_____________________

 

Hunting with Erend was nothing like Aloy had expected. 

They were different types of fighters, with very different tactics, and she was so used to being entirely on her own that… Well, she had expected it to be jarring, expected to keep finding him stepping into her bow shots or flickering distractingly in her peripheral vision. Hunting with Talanah to take down Redmaw had been like that; just a little bit off, like the first day wearing new boots.

Instead...

Instead she and Erend fit together like an arrow on a bowstring. They had fallen quickly into a smooth, deadly rhythm, easy as breathing. Erend would knock a machine off its feet and she would move in for the killing blow with her spear. Aloy would identify weaknesses with her Focus, and he would smash away armor to expose the vulnerable parts to her arrows. Erend would to rush out into the open as a distraction, drawing the machines’ attention while Aloy picked them off with her bow. He would strike while she reloaded, or she would attack while he got back on his feet. Erend was fascinating to watch, too; the easy, confident way he would swing his heavy war hammer, the set of his jaw as he lined up an arrow shot, the delighted smile across his generous mouth each time they made a kill.

She never thought working with a partner would be like this. 

It was late evening. The sunset was just beginning to fade and Aloy was headed back to their little camp. She and Erend had hunted all day, making good progress toward the  “taboo” areas surrounding Devil’s Thirst, killing machines as they went. Erend should have a good fire going by now, with their bedrolls and gear laid out. Aloy had volunteered to find something for their dinner, mostly because she needed time alone to think. 

She’d never thought things would be like this. 

It had been earlier in the day that it had clicked for her. She had been watching him, appreciating his strength as he kicked a Scrapper right off its feet and neatly crushed its chest in one smooth, arching motion of his hammer. Then Erend had looked over at her with a blazing smile and suddenly it was as if someone had set fire to her skin. Aloy wildly found herself wishing this hunting trip together would never end. 

It had all clicked together then, painful and sharp, like a dislocated joint snapping back into place. 

Memory had flooded her. Vivid images of Rost sitting across their fire one evening, several years ago. He had been talking to her about what it might be like if she found someone she wanted to share her life with. “You may find someone,” he had said somberly, “when you join the tribe.”

“What,” Aloy remembered scoffing, “I’m just going to look at someone and decide they’re my mate? Pfft.” 

“You may find someone,” Rost had said more firmly, “who will start to dwell in your mind like a hearthfire. The things you see and do will be colored by what you think that person may say of it. You will want to hear their thoughts on it, or share it with them. There will be a way they move or speak, something that would otherwise be small, that will seem as wonderful to you as a clear summer sunrise. You’ll come to realize that this person is very special to you, and you may decide to choose them.” 

At the time Aloy had been more interested in how Rost knew all of this. But when pressed he had simply looked sad, saying his usual, “Now is not the time,” and changed the subject. She felt a pang of grief now, knowing that he had probably been speaking of his own long dead mate. Back then she had disregarded his words, not seeing any way that she could have thoughts like that about someone from tribe that had cast her out.

_ I suppose I was half right.  _

It was almost eerie how accurate Rost’s description was. She had enjoyed Erend’s company since she’d met him, had considered him a friend after Red Ridge Pass and helping him finding Ersa. She had watched with pride as he pieced himself back together, despite his own gnawing grief, and taken charge of the Vanguard. She had been terrified, scrambling up the Alight with her heart in her mouth, terrified that she would find nothing but mangled corpses when she faced HADES. 

But then something had shifted that night. She had assumed it was leftover battle nerves at first, dregs of adrenaline that made her itch to kiss him; that she had just been overcome with everything that had happened, and her overtired body was misunderstanding the reason for his arms to be around her. But the next morning was the same, that imperceptible shift from trusted friend to… something else. 

It had only spiraled the more they spent time together. And now… 

And now she was pretty sure she loved Erend. If only she kne where to go from here. 

Aloy wanted to talk to him about it directly; everything else was so easy to discuss with him, this should be too. Shouldn’t it? But he always acted so—so  _ weird  _ when she mentioned that she liked to spend time with him, or gave him a compliment. Erend’s face would light up like daybreak at her words, affection practically radiating from him—and then he would always look away or take a breath, schooling his features into nothing. Did he not  _ want  _ to care about her? Was that something that happened to people? Could you love someone and wish you didn’t? Why would someone do that? 

_ And you may decide to choose them.  _ Rost had never said what happened when you decided not to. Her chest ached and she wished so badly she could talk to him. Rost would have understood this confusing mess in a heartbeat. 

Aloy tightened her grip on Rost’s bow. 

But the reality was that she was alone. Aloy would have to figure this out on her own. As always. But for the first time in her life, she found herself not wanting to face a confrontation head on. 

The words, “why don’t you want me?” were too painful to say out loud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little bit late because I've been just a teeeensy bit distracted by Frozen Wilds. And by distracted, I mean completely obsessed. It's so much fun. I do miss Erend, but it's so nice to see new material with Aloy. She's so snarky! I love her. And the Banuk are lots of fun.
> 
> I hope you all are having an excellent week, and I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you so much for taking the time to read, and especially thank you to the folks who take extra time to comment. It's such a joy to hear your thoughts!


	7. Chapter 7

By the time Aloy reached the camp it was fully dark. 

Erend had built up a fire, laid out their bedrolls, and was in the process of stripping off his armor. Aloy took a moment to watch him through the trees. Without the heavy, metal studded leather he looked different; smaller, less rounded out. The V-shaped collar of his striped shirt was unlaced, exposing a hint of collarbones as he removed his gloves. A single electric finger traced Aloy’s spine. She had never expected to find someone’s throat to be… enticing. 

She shook her head and made her way through the last of the underbrush into the clearing. She wasn’t making any effort to keep quiet, but Erend still jumped when she stepped into the ring of firelight. 

“Shit, Aloy, you’re like a Stalker sometimes, the way you just pop up out of nowhere.” 

“I promise not to throw any mines at you,” she said with a tiny smile. She sat down cross-legged by the fire, pulled a turkey out of her game bag, and began carefully skinning it. 

She worked with single-minded concentration, trying to shove all the unpleasant thoughts from earlier out of her mind. Now wasn’t the time. It was like Rost used to always tell her, push everything else away and focus on the task. Her world narrowed to her hands and her knife, and the neat, tidy cuts she was making. 

After several long moments, Erend came to sit beside her. “Almost done,” she said quietly, still focused on her work. “I field dressed it out in the woods. We just need to cook it. Hand me some of that ridgewood?”

“Sure,” said Erend, and reached over to the pile of kindling stacked beside the fire. “Here.” 

Aloy nodded, finishing the last few cuts. She set the skin and feathers aside and began cutting the bird into smaller pieces and skewering them to cook.  

“Hey,” Erend said softly as she worked. “You okay? You look kinda rough. Did the hunting go badly? Turkeys getting their own Derangement or something?” 

Aloy huffed a laugh at the image of deadly turkeys. A heavy knot she hadn’t realized had been sitting in her chest eased just a little, and she paused in her work for a moment to look up at Erend. His eyes were dark, deep blue-gray in the dim firelight. Aloy’s stomach squirmed. 

“No turkey Derangement,” she said, squeezing it past the knot. “I’m fine. Just a little tired.” She set the skewered meat cooking. 

“Okay,” Erend said, though concern still lingered in his expression. 

Aloy sighed. This was ridiculous. She was making things uncomfortable based on nothing. She didn’t have any answers yet, but she was moping as if Erend had outright rejected her. She enjoyed his company, and she knew he enjoyed hers. That was enough for tonight. The rest… 

The rest would come in time. She couldn’t avoid it forever. For now, though, she just wanted to see Erend smile. 

Aloy reached for her bow and held it out to him. “I’ve been meaning to tell you about this. I went and got it the night we reached Mother’s Heart.” 

Erend’s eyes widened as he took the bow and ran his fingers carefully over the grip. “Is this his?” he asked softly, looking up to meet her eyes. “Rost’s?”

Aloy nodded. “You were right. It does help, having something of his.” She held his gaze and smiled, hoping the gratitude she felt came through. “Thank you, Erend.” 

“Heh. You’re welcome,” he said, running his fingers across the back of his head. Aloy watched the smile stretch across his lips and the knot in her chest eased a bit more. She hadn’t seen him smile like that with anyone else. Surely that meant something. Didn’t it? 

“Speaking of bows, hand me the rest of that ridgewood?” she said, pointing. “We have all these turkey feathers and the arrows you have left are awful! All those merchants in Meridian and you bought  _ those _ ?”

Erend sputtered a laugh. “First she threatens me with death, now she insults my ammo.” He handed her the wood, still chuckling. “What next, my face? You gonna tell me my hair is terrible and scares away the wildlife?” 

Aloy laughed. “No,” she said, boldly flicking the end of his mohawk with her fingertip, “I like your hair. I like the way you look.” 

And oh, the look his face when she said that. 

No one had ever looked at Aloy like that, so sweet and warm and  _ fond _ . For half a heartbeat the space between them turned electric, swirling with an unknown something that made heat pool below Aloy’s navel and set her skin tingling. Her gaze flicked down to Erend’s mouth, drawn there by some strange gravity. 

Then his throat worked, his mouth tightened, and she could  _ see  _ him pull back into himself.  His expressions flashed almost faster than she could read, first something like fear, then a tiny grimace— pain?—before he smoothed it away like tracks in sand. He just—folded up his feelings and stuffed them away before her eyes. 

“Heh. Well, um. Good to know I’m not ruining the scenery,” he said, a slight roughness to his voice the only indication that he was anything but casually joking. 

“Yeah…” Aloy’s lungs felt like they were made of stone. It had all been right there, written clear on his face—and he didn’t want it to be. Erend had always been completely open with her. Why was he doing this? She  _ trusted  _ him. She had trusted him with her life, with her deepest, most horrible secrets. Zero Dawn, her origins, everything. She had thought… 

She had thought...

_ Why don’t you want me?  _

Aloy had always figured nothing could ever come close to the pain and loneliness of living as a shunned outcast. 

She’d been wrong. 

 

———————

 

Erend had messed up. 

He wasn’t exactly certain what it was he had done, but he had his suspicions. Either way, he’d definitely messed up. 

Aloy had abruptly lost all her cheer last night, and had stiffly eaten dinner and gone to bed with barely a word. When pressed she had simply said she was tired, but it was obvious, even to Erend, that was a load of slag. 

She had been just as withdrawn this morning—still “tired”—and worked  with him to break camp in icy, brooding silence. The silence had followed them all morning as they made their way northeast, toward the place the Nora called Devil’s Grief.  Erend sighed and rubbed the back of his head, raking his scalp with his nails in frustration. Silence with Aloy was usually so comfortable. Now it was like a pebble in his boot, a constant jarring pain with each step.

_ Damn it!  _  He had been trying so hard to make sure that his friendship with Aloy was protected at all costs. And now he had messed it up anyway. He was always screwing things up!  And now he was supposed to spend the whole day pretending he believed she was  just “tired”? She couldn’t be serious!

Erend kicked a rock as he walked, venting his frustration and sending the stone careening into a tree with an echoing crack. Fire and spit, he wanted a drink so damned badly.

Aloy stopped in her tracks so quickly Erend almost crashed into her. 

“What are you doing?” she hissed, glaring at him with unconcealed irritation. “Do you want every machine for miles to know exactly where we are?” 

“What machines?” he snapped. “There’s been nothing but that herd of Grazers, and we passed them an hour ago.” 

Aloy’s eyes narrowed and she turned away without another word. Her hands were clenched into fists and Erend sighed. He shouldn’t be bickering with her. She was right, after all. He had no idea what was ahead, and being a complete bung certainly wasn’t helping either of them to patch things up. 

He straightened his spine and took a calming breath. He had to at least try to make this right.  “Aloy,” he said gently. “I know I did something that’s making you mad. Will you please talk to me about it?” 

Ahead of him, Aloy’s shoulders tensed and her fists tightened further. She said nothing. 

Erend wanted to scream. The worst part was he didn’t know who he was more frustrated with, Aloy or himself!  _ Stupid, useless damned drunk! Why did you  _ ever  _ think it would be a good idea to—  _

“Does it bother you that I’m motherless?”  Aloy’s voice was low and sharp. 

Erend couldn’t have been more caught off guard if she’d started squawking like a Watcher. “What?” he gaped. Where the hell had this come from? “What are you talking about?” 

“I know I told you,” she continued, still walking ahead of him and not looking back. “I was made by a machine, from a woman that’s been dead for a thousand years.” She glanced back over her shoulder at him. Her eyes were a little too bright. “Does that bother you?”

Erend wanted to throw up. He had no idea what he’d done to give her that impression, but the thought that she’d been chewing on such a painful idea since last night made him sick. He didn’t think. He just reached for her, put a hand on her arm and drew her back until he could turn her to face him. 

“What the hell gave you that idea?” he said, squeezing her shoulders. She looked up at him with narrowed eyes. “Aloy, you’re incredible! You’d be incredible even if you’d been born from a damned fruit tree or something.” 

Aloy let out a shaky breath through her nose, but otherwise stayed silent. Erend kept going, determined to get rid of the horrible look of rejection crossing her face. “The Nora are crazy!” he blurted. “Uh, sorry. I mean—you know what I mean!” Fire and spit, he was making a huge mess of this! 

A tiny hint of a smile tugged at the corner of Aloy’s mouth. 

At least she hadn’t hit him. “You’re the person who saved the damned world, Aloy. Anyone who’s worried about anything else needs their head checked,” Erend continued. “Fire and spit, I don’t give a piece of scorched scrap about the Nora’s weird mother thing.” He grimaced and gave her shoulders another squeeze, nauseous guilt creeping up his throat. “I think you’re amazing. I’m sorry for whatever I did that got you thinking about this.” He held his breath and waited, both hoping for and dreading answers. 

With a long, slow breath, Aloy leaned forward until her forehead bumped into him. Her face disappeared into the cloth of his scarf, and he could barely make out a muffled, “Thank you, Erend,” from amongst the folds.  

All the tension he’d been holding in his shoulders vanished, and he almost sagged in relief. Instead he let himself be greedy, just for a moment. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in for a hug. 

He could feel her muscles bunch under his fingers, a brief jolt of surprise, and then she relaxed again. She stood there in his arms, breathing slowly against his shoulder, and Erend felt the world slowly drop away around them. Oh, he had been aching for this for so long. She fit so neatly against his him, the thick tangle of her hair so soft against his cheek. It would only take the tiniest movement, just a minute tilt of his head, and he could press a gentle kiss against her temple. He leaned his head against her instead, contenting himself with this brief moment, with the warmth of her against his face. 

Eventually Aloy moved against him, he’d been desperately lucky that she’d tolerated him for so long, and he quickly let her go. He felt oddly cold without her against him.  To his relief, she seemed better, looking up at him with a tiny smile on her lips. 

“I’m sorry for giving you the cold shoulder all morning,” she said quietly. “I should have just talked to you.” She turned to continue down the trail, tugging on his shirt sleeve so that he would walk alongside her. She kept her eyes fixed on her boots. 

“I’m still not sure what I did that caused this mess,” Erend said, still giddy from having her so close, his nerves still ringing with relief that he’d managed to get past her anger. “Tell me what I did wrong? Hammer to steel, the last thing I want is to hurt you.” 

They walked in silence for a long moment. Aloy’s face had gone thoughtful and introspective, and Erend patiently waited for her to collect her thoughts. Though, the longer she spent, the more nervous he became. She was taking an awfully long time to think.  _ Fire and spit, idiot, what did you  _ do _? _

Finally her gaze moved from her feet back up to the horizon, and the pained, pensive look eased from her face. “It’s hard to describe,” she said slowly, as if weighing each word carefully. “When I’m with you, I keep seeing—” 

She stopped abruptly, her eyes fixed straight ahead. “— bodies,” she breathed. 

“What?” Erend stopped and gaped at her. “Bodies!?” What in hell was she talking about? 

Still staring ahead, Aloy grabbed his shoulder with one hand and pointed with the other. “Look.” 

The sound of buzzing flies was suddenly all Erend could hear.  A dozen steps away, a little further down the path, were the remains of several people, covered in crusted, gaping wounds and peppered with strange arrow shafts. They lay sprawled beside the road in a mangled, bloody heap, half concealed by the tall grass beside them. Erend stared at them, feeling his blood run cold. 

“Shit.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating change because I realized I've got all sorts of swearing and canon-typical violence up in here, and I had it set all wrong when I first published it. Oops. >_<
> 
> I'm late getting this chapter posted. Thank you all for your patience! The holiday last week just devoured my normal writing time, and it took a while to get things back on track. Should be back on the regular weekly updates now. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! You all are amazing and your feedback absolutely keeps me going. You're the best!


	8. Chapter 8

As they approached the bodies, Aloy’s hand immediately went to the device on her head. Her eyes swept over the area, searching, her mouth a grim, tight line. She was all business, muttering under her breath as she took in everything.

Erend tried to stamp down his disappointment. They’d been sharing something special a moment ago, and now… Well, dead people didn’t pair very well with heart-to-heart talks. It seemed wrong to push the conversation now, not with Aloy looking so grim and focused. He sagged in his armor for a moment, frustration crawling up his spine. He stamped that down too. _ She doesn’t owe you anything, idiot. It should be enough for you that she isn’t angry anymore. _ He took another glance up at Aloy’s stormy expression.   _ Well, at least not angry at  _ you _. _

  
He sighed. He may as well make himself useful. 

Erend crouched to examine the corpses. There were three, all of them in rough shape, lying there for several days at least, by the looks of them. This was clearly the work of machines, given the gaping claw slashes covering arms and torsos, the crushed ribs and leg bones. One of them had been hit in the shoulder with an odd, heavy arrow that caught Erend’s attention. The shaft was made of metal, thick and bulky, easily twice the diameter of a normal arrow. Instead of fletching, it was topped with a flared, knobby cylinder made of metal and red glass. The glass was broken, but Erend thought it may have originally been globe-shaped. Nothing like this could be fired from a normal bow. This was something new, and clearly not friendly. He turned to Aloy.

“What do you think this is?” 

Aloy turned her device on it for a moment, then sighed. “I don’t know. I’ve never seen something like that before. And my Focus isn’t picking up anything.” 

Erend decided to examine the arrow further, grabbed it and pulled. It did not come easily. With a grunt and a heavy wrenching motion, he finally managed to get it free.  The arrowhead was heavy and wickedly barbed to prevent it from being easily dislodged. “Whatever it is, it’s a nasty piece of work,” he said. “Does as much damage getting it out as it does taking the hit.” It reminded him of some of Dervahl’s ‘toys’. He tried not to shudder. The arrow would have hit hard too, he thought. Something that heavy would need a lot of force behind it to get it through the air. He very much did  _ not  _ want to meet the machine that shot it.  

“I think these people were from Hollow Fort,” Aloy said, interrupting his thoughts. “I remember speaking to that man there,” she pointed, “after we cleared out the bandits. He said the outcasts would make a home there, in the camp.” 

“It looks like their machine hunt didn’t go well.” said Erend, straightening to his feet. 

Aloy frowned at him. “I’m not sure they were hunting.” She pointed again. “They all have travel packs, and only that one has a bow.” Her arm swung to point up to a line of messy tracks crossing the path. “They came from that direction, running, I think. The tracks are deep, and far apart.” Her hand moved again, “Look there. Scrapper tracks. They overlap the human ones, and here, around the bodies. This wasn’t a hunt.” 

“Not for the people, anyway.” Erend said grimly. Then frost crawled up his spine and he held up the strange arrow. “But I’ve never seen a Scrapper fire something like this.” 

Aloy’s eyes were full of concern. “Me neither.” 

Ice formed in Erend’s belly. “Well that’s not ominous at all.” He scanned the tree line, the hair on the back of his neck rising as he imagined an unknown, new machine raining giant, deadly arrows down on them. 

“We need to find out what’s going on,” Aloy said, her jaw set with determination. She was already reaching for her Focus again. “C’mon. Let’s follow the trail, see where it leads.” 

“We’re going  _ towards  _ the source of the scary new machine weapons?” Erend said, smiling despite himself. “Right. I’ve got your back.” 

Aloy nodded, all business. She set off through the trees, eyes glued to the ground. Erend followed right behind her, determined to be there to back her up no matter what danger she flung herself into. She was so incredibly brave, fierce as a Sawtooth. He almost felt sorry for this new machine. By the forge, he was so hopelessly in love.  

_ And she will never, ever want that from a useless lout like you,  _ he reminded himself.  __

 

____________________  
  


Night fell before they reached the end of the tracks. 

It galled Aloy to have to stop and make camp. Had she been alone, she probably would have pressed on until she’d at least come to the end of the trail, or better yet reached Hollow Fort. She had certainly pushed the pair of them until well past sunset. It was only a few hours to midnight when they finally sought a sheltered spot along the river to lay their bedrolls. 

The afternoon had passed mostly in silence. Aloy had been focused on the trail, Erend keeping watch on their surroundings, and there had been few opportunities to talk. 

That had been fine with Aloy.

They had made camp and Erend was hunting tonight, insisting he take a turn. Aloy had been relieved to have the time to herself. She had already started a fire and readied their sleeping gear. Now she was taking advantage of her free time to get a thorough bath in the river. 

She stripped off her sweaty armor and leathers and waded into the cold water until it was nearly to her hips. A bar of soap in hand, she scrubbed herself head to toe. Cold water or not, it felt good to finally get thoroughly clean after the last two days of rough travel and hunting. As she scrubbed, her mind wandered back to Erend and the confusing miasma of emotion that seemed to follow him. 

Their conversation that morning had made her feel better at the time, and she had intended to return to it and explain herself to Erend later. But the longer they walked, the more she had time to think, time to doubt, and the worse she had felt. He had let go of her so  _ quickly _ . She had barely moved, had only meant to get her arms around his middle, and he had practically leapt away from her. That had hurt. Erend was always touching her, putting his arm around her or a hand on her shoulder. He seemed to enjoy it, to do it almost without thinking, and Aloy was coming to crave the contact.

So why then did he suddenly decide to let her go as if she’d burned him? It didn’t make sense. 

Aloy believed him when he said he didn’t care that she was motherless. He had looked at her with that sweet, earnest expression she had come to like so much, had looked so stricken to have caused her that pain. So if being motherless wasn’t the answer, what was? What was it that kept him pulling away? 

That was the problem, really, and the real reason why Aloy has been avoiding finishing the conversation. Shame flooded her to even admit it to herself. 

She didn’t want to have to face Erend’s answer. 

Normally someone taking a dislike to her would be just like every other day of her life. She could simply move on. But the idea that Erend, the person she was quickly realizing had become a critical aspect of her life, the idea that something about her wasn’t enough for him—it stabbed through her heart like a spear blade. She didn’t know how she would stand hearing about it in detail.  

Aloy grit her teeth and scrubbed at her hands ruthlessly, as if she could wash away her anxieties along with any grime. 

_ Letting a wound go unattended only invites it to fester, _ Rost had told her once. She knew she had to face this. She would have to talk to him tonight when he got back. But oh, she would rather face the Sun Ring again than hear him tell her why she didn’t measure up. 

“Aloy! I’m back,” called Erend, interrupting her thoughts as he rounded an outcrop of tall rocks to approach their little camp. 

“Any luck?” she asked, splashing water on her arms to rinse off the soap. She could hear his heavy footsteps on stone as he skirted the last of the outcrop and reached the camp. 

“I come bearing rabbits,” he said, sounding very pleased with himself. “And you’ll love this, I also found a patch of raspberrrrr _ —oh!” _

“What’s wrong?” Aloy looked up in confusion, flicking water from her fingers. For half a heartbeat Erand gaped at her, red spreading rapidly across his face to his ears. Then he whirled and made a beeline back to the campfire.

_...what?  _

Even the back of his neck was brilliant scarlet.

  
“I am starving!” he said very loudly. “I’m just going to set these bunnies cooking and you can—can just finish what you’re doing!” His voice was cracked and wavering.  _ What is wrong with him? _

“Um, don’t you want to wash up too?” she asked. He’d been complaining about feeling grimey all afternoon.

“ _ Nope! _ Uh. No. I’m—uh—I’m really hungry. Yeah. I’ll just do the—the washing thing—later.” 

He was lying again!

For half a heartbeat Aloy reeled under a sudden torrent of betrayal and rejection that almost had her gasping for breath. Then came the anger. Rage rushed up Aloy’s spine, and she clutched it to herself with desperation. She let the fury drown out the doubt and sorrow that had been choking her moments before. She clenched her jaw, nursing her anger, taking shameless refuge in it. 

_ Fine!  _ she seethed.  _ I’m better off alone.  _

 

____________________

 

_ This is it. I’m completely doomed.  _

Erend stared at his pair of roasting rabbits and tried to think of unpleasant things; things like standing in full armor at noon during the Meridian summer, the night watch on a holiday, latrine duty, anything that  _ wasn’t  _ Aloy naked in the river. 

Gorgeous, perfect Aloy, completely naked in the— _ damn it! _

He clamped his legs together and adjusted the heavy leather tassets hanging from his belt until they did a reasonable job of covering his lap. He hoped beyond measure that his body would calm the hell down before Aloy came back. 

_ Oh please let her be wearing clothes when she does!  _

Fire and spit, he was so, so  _ stupid _ ! He knew the Nora didn’t do the whole “body modesty” thing. He could almost hear Irid’s sonorous explanation from the first time they had headed to the Sacred Land, nearly a year ago. “They consider their flesh to have been made in their goddess’ image, so it is not considered shameful,” the priest had said with incredulous laughter. Erend grimaced and ran his hands down his face, 

Somehow, though, it had never occurred to him that Aloy would share those tendencies. 

_ Except that she was raised by a Nora! Idiot! You stupid idiot.  _ She wouldn't see any reason to be concerned about her lack of clothing, wouldn't worry about whether he caught a glimpse of her beautiful hips, her perfect little brea— _ DAMN IT! Don’t be such a creep! _

The image of her seemed to be burned onto the insides of his eyelids. How was he ever going to make it through the rest of the evening without making even more of a fool of himself? She was going to  _ hate  _ him. 

Footsteps crunched on the sand behind him, and he fought his impulse to jump. Out of the corner of his eye he could see her move to sit cross-legged a few paces away.  _ Don’t look! _  But his traitorous eyes flicked sideways anyway, and he sagged with relief to see that she was clothed in her tunic and leggings once again. She sat with her hands clutching her arms and stared into the fire. 

Awkward silence stretched between them. 

He pretended to be very focused on the two roasting bunnies. “Should be done in a little bit,” he said quietly.  _ Calm, think calm thoughts. _ “The raspberries are over there.” He pointed and felt a chill as she made no move to reach for them, her only reaction a terse nod. 

“Are you okay?” Erend asked.  _ Please don’t let this be the way I get caught. Anything but this! _

“I’m fine,” she said, in an almost perfect imitation of this morning. Erend’s stomach squirmed uncomfortably.

He blurted the first thing to come to mind.  “How was the water?”  _ Not helping! _

“Cold,” she said, her words similar in temperature. She had stretched her hands toward the flames, still staring resolutely away from him. 

_ Congratulations, idiot. You’ve managed to ruin everything. _ Erend stood abruptly, anxiety and self-loathing jolting him into action. He had to get away for a minute. Sure, that made him a filthy coward, but he just couldn’t stand another heartbeat with Aloy glaring daggers into the fire and knowing,  _ knowing  _ they were meant for him. He was a damned coward, running away from yet another huge mistake in the long, painful history of screw-ups that was his life. 

“Actually, I’m uh—I’m gonna go wash up,” he said, hating himself more with every word. 

Aloy’s eyes snapped up to his face, her expression clouded with anger. Fire and spit he was  _ such  _ a fuckup. 

“The rabbits will be a while before they’re done,” he continued, grateful that at least his voice wasn’t cracking. “I’ll be right back. Go ahead and start without me.” 

He didn’t wait for her reply, only snatched his entire pack and fled like the spineless Grazer-licker he was. All afternoon he’d been hoping that things were getting better. And now here he was, stumbling around like the thick-headed bung he was, making an even bigger mess of everything he touched. He didn’t deserve to be spending time with Aloy in the first place, and she certainly didn’t deserve to have him around to hurt her feelings over and over. 

He made his way to a bend in the river, just out of eyeshot from the fire, and quickly removed his armor and clothes. He almost wished he could remove his own skin, to remove his very identity and put on another, one that wasn’t such a complete damned waste. 

One that wasn’t stupid enough to fall in love with a woman so agonizingly beyond reach. 

But not even completely submerging himself in icy river water was enough to wash the image of Aloy—beautiful beyond imagining in the dying sunlight—out of his head. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to stop saying I'll be back on a regular weekly update schedule, because then Life hears me and throws me another curve ball. 
> 
> So these idiots are just making a total mess of things. I'm sorry (not sorry)! Also cultural misunderstandings are awfully fun. Not that I would invent a cultural trait for the Nora several chapters ago JUST for the sole purpose of making Erend exceedingly, painfully uncomfortable. That would be silly. :P 
> 
> Hope you all have a great week, guys. Thank you so, SO much for all the kind words and feedback. I cannot tell you how happy each of your comments makes me. Thank you!


	9. Chapter 9

By the time Erend returned from the river, Aloy was already wrapped in her bedroll, the fire banked down to smoldering embers. Despite the slow, even breathing of sleep, she was curled in on herself, her arms wrapped around her middle as if she were trying to hold herself together.

Erend sighed and sat down by the remains of the fire. This was so wrong. Everything was wrong. He was such an ass, selfish and stupid, and it was  _ hurting _ Aloy. Shame burned in his belly and across his face. Nothing was worth that. Nothing. 

He may not have had drop of brew in two weeks, but he was just as much a useless drunk as he’d ever been in his life—he’d simply swapped alcohol for Aloy. He craved her presence as badly as any drink, and he was being just as single-minded and greedy about it as he’d been with brew. One little taste of the idea that she enjoyed his company, and he’d become a complete addict. 

Erend felt sick.

_ You’re gonna have to grow up fast. _

He groaned. Great job he’d done with that. Erend buried his face in his hands, scraping his fingernails through the thick stubble on his scalp. Fire and spit, if Ersa were here, she would kick his ass to the Claim and back again. He was  _ such _ a useless bung. 

He stared at the baleful red coals in the fire pit and sighed. He’d been unforgivably selfish. Aloy was stronger and more capable than he could ever hope to be, and here he was, withholding information from her like she was incapable of making her own decisions. She had  _ trusted _ him, shared secrets and pain with him that she hadn’t shared with anyone, had sought him out as somewhere safe—and he’d repaid that trust with  _ this?  _ Just the thought that she wouldn’t notice something was off spoke volumes about how stupid he’d been. Aloy could  _ literally  _ see things that no one else could, and he’d had the gall to think he could hide something from her? Erend raked his fingers through the stripe of his hair. He was acting just as just like the arrogant, swaggering bigshot he’d thought he was when they first met. And now his bumbling idiocy was salt in some of Aloy’s deepest, most painful old wounds. 

_ Does it bother you that I’m motherless? _

Fire and spit, she’d been stewing over that one for hours, probably thinking he was repulsed by her, all because he’d been too much of a coward to just  _ talk  _ to her. And then he’d had the audacity to fantasize about her earlier, and— 

This was so wrong. 

In his mind, he’d been turning the words “I love you,” over and over again for days, like running his hands over a beautiful, perfectly crafted weapon he could never afford. He’d been obsessing over how  _ much _ he wished she would want to hear those words from him. He’d been so focused on it, so lost in his own pining that he’d been horribly blind to the damage he was doing.  _ Selfish _ , his mind snarled.  _ Stupid, inconsiderate bung.  _

He had to fix this. 

There was _no way_ he could fix this. 

He could never put things back to the way they were. Erend was fairly certain he’d ruined everything. But continuing to hurt Aloy was out of the question. Making sure she felt better would be worth any pain, any heartache.

Even—even if she didn’t want to speak to him ever again. 

Erend clenched his fists and got to his feet. It would hurt if that happened. It would be more painful than any hit he’d ever taken in battle. Worse than when he’d caught a spear blade in the ribs during the Liberation, and that had been purest agony. His eyes began to sting. Losing Aloy’s friendship would be so, so much worse, like having his heart torn out of his chest while he watched. His throat closed at just the thought, and dread clenched in his stomach. But it would still be worth it. Aloy was worth everything. 

_ No more playing around.  _

 

——————————-

 

Aloy awoke to a gray, chill dawn. 

The air was damp and the sun still low enough that getting out of her warm bedroll was entirely unappealing. She lay awake for a long moment, listening to a nearby songbird as she tried to rally herself into starting the day. Erend was a few feet to her right, still sound asleep and looking—oddly sweet with his features so relaxed and calm. The urge to lean over and kiss him was almost painful. 

Aloy growled and rolled the other way instead—and sighed.

Sitting on top of her neatly piled armor was the satchel of raspberries Erend had collected yesterday, still untouched, along with a scrap of cloth covered in smudgy charcoal glyphs. Aloy’s stomach clenched. She didn’t have to read the note to recognize Erend’s attempts at a peace offering. 

Still cocooned in her blankets, she reached for her Focus and scanned the note. 

_ I’m so sorry, _ it said, _ I really made a mess of things. Can we please talk? _

Aloy stifled a groan. Last night she’d been furious, had clung fiercely to that anger and frustration to avoid having to face the other, more painful feelings welling up behind them. Now… 

Now her anger had cooled overnight and she was left feeling empty and alone, her previous fury dying under the spear of inexorable logic. It wasn’t Erend’s fault that he didn’t think of her romantically. Aloy certainly hadn’t  _ chosen _ to come to love him, it had just—happened, just as he hadn’t chosen his own feelings. It didn’t help anything to be angry about something neither of them could control. She couldn’t keep avoiding this. She had to talk to Erend. 

She had to make a target of her heart, knowing he had an arrow poised to strike it. 

Aloy swallowed past the lump forming in her throat and slowly got up to put her armor on. She had to face the day. There was a new machine to investigate, and then… 

And then… 

And then she would lose something precious before it had ever been hers at all. 

 

———————

 

They broke camp in tense, awkward silence.

The fury from last night no longer scorched across Aloy’s face, and she had even shared the raspberries with Erend at breakfast. He tried to take all of this as a good sign. But even though she didn’t seem angry anymore, she prowled along the trail as tense and jumpy as a spooked Strider. 

At breakfast he had apologized to her again, had asked if they could talk about things even though the thought made his meal lurch dangerously in his stomach. Aloy hadn’t exactly said no, which he supposed was a start.  But she had asked to wait until after they had dealt with the new machine, and that had set his teeth grinding. She said it was important to keep their focus sharp, and they could deal with their own problems once they’d made sure the area was safe. 

She wasn’t fooling either of them.

Erend shook his head and followed in Aloy’s footsteps. Frustration was boiling up his spine, and he found himself hoping they would run into a machine, any machine, just so he could beat the life out of something. Everything was in Aloy’s hands now, and waiting for the hammer blow to fall was driving him crazy. He tried to keep himself focused on watching their surroundings for enemies, but he burned with dread and anticipation with every step. 

Fortunately it wasn’t long before they reached Hollow Fort, the first glimpses of the walls peeking through the tree line like the spines on a Sawtooth’s back. Aloy followed the last of the footprints, the trail clearly originating inside the village, and headed through the main entrance—

—and stopped dead. 

Erend nearly bumbled right into her, but the irritation sparking in his chest died as he looked at what had stopped her in her tracks.  “What the hell happened?” 

The tiny village had been cobbled together from what was originally a bandit camp, Aloy had told him, so it had probably never been particularly pretty. Now, though, it was effectively a pile of kindling wood. 

The few buildings and shelters that had stood were shattered heaps, the fresh breaks in the wood looking like pale, broken bone. Scorch marks covered the ground and insides of the walls, accompanied by the starburst-shaped craters left by chillwater blasts. 

“Glinthawks,” Aloy muttered to herself, activating her device and looking around grimly. “And Scrappers, I think. Maybe something bigger. The ground is torn up pretty badly.” 

Erend’s spotted a crumpled, human-shaped heap covered in tattered cloth, half buried in wreckage. “So are the people,” he said softly. 

They made a careful, somber sweep of the fort. All of the people they found were several days dead, all of them savaged by machines. And so many machines! There were tracks and pieces of machine armor scattered everywhere. Some of it he recognized—the faceplate of a Watcher, a Scrapper’s sparker—and several more of those strange, heavy arrows they had found yesterday. 

“Seems like an entire herd of machines came through here” he said, running his hands over the shattered remains of one of the mysterious arrows. “Whatever fires these things seems to like having friends around.” 

She came to stand beside him, and even in this grim place, despite the tension between them, his nerves still shrieked with the need to put his arm around her. “Maybe it’s another machine like the Corruptor, something that can take over other machines,” she said, and a chill crept down Erend’s neck. 

“There can’t be more Corruptors. HADES is dead. I  _ saw  _ you kill it.” 

“Something new, then,” she said with a growing frown. “Maybe something from a Cauldron.”

“Egh. This day just keeps getting better.” 

Aloy shot him a sour look and stalked off to search along the outside walls. Erend grit his teeth and hunched his shoulders in frustration. He felt like a blaze canister, ready to explode. He wanted to hit something, to feel the shudder of metal crushing inward under his hammer. He— 

Aloy’s voice interrupted his thoughts from the other side of the perimeter wall, “I found something.” 

 

———————

 

Erend frowned down at Aloy as she pointed to the corpse she had discovered. 

“Another dead person,” he said flatly. He looked frustrated. 

Yeah, well, so was she.  _ No. Stay focused. _ “This one has an arrow in her throat—a human-made one. See?” She pointed at the body, then up to the watchtower built into the wall. “She fell from up there.” 

Erend’s eyes flicked back and forth between Aloy and the dead woman. “So someone shot her… while she was on guard.” His nose wrinkled. “Why would someone kill a wall guard during a machine attack?” 

“That’s what I’d like to know,” she said grimly. Her hand was already at her Focus, and she did not like what it showed her. 

“Look,” she said, thinking out loud. “Several sets of human tracks lead out of the grass and up to the main entrance, here.” There were several corpses there, all slashed to death by machines. Or could it have been spear blades? 

And there was blood. Aloy’s eyes narrowed. “They were wounded. There’s blood trailing back toward the forest, heading southeast.” 

“Someone else was here,” she said, already stepping toward the trees to pick up the trail. “I think they may have attacked with the machines.” 

“Shit…” Erend said. “You mean like the Eclipse?” 

Aloy’s stomach turned to ice at the thought. “I hope not.”

 

—————————

 

They lost the trail several times over the next hour, and the tension crawling up Aloy’s back increased with each wasted minute. Fear chilled her belly, fear at the idea that there could still be Eclipse at all, that they were in the Sacred Land and were wiping out entire settlements. Irritation ground along her nerves each time she caught a glimpse of Erend out of the corner of her eye. He had been watching her like a hawk, his eyes following her with a uneasy anticipation, but never saying a word. It was making her crazy. By the time they reached the end of the trees, Aloy felt like her head was going to explode from keeping it all in. 

A human voice up ahead cut through her roiling thoughts like a knife. 

Aloy crouched low and peered through the trees. She had been so caught up in her own thoughts, so fixated on keeping the trail, that she hadn’t thought much about the direction they’d been headed. Or where they’d arrived.  

The Metal Ring. And there were people here. Again. It was the Eclipse, the killers, all over again. 

For one horrible moment she was back at the Proving, her back to the edge of a knife-edge cliff, Rost staggering to his knees from a killing blow, the air sharp with blood, so much blood—  

“These guys don’t  _ look  _ like Eclipse.” 

Aloy shuddered out a breath. Erend was crouched beside her, and for a wild moment she  _ ached  _ to have his arms around her again, to ground herself with the solid warmth of him. She clenched her fist around her spear and looked out at the Metal Ring instead. 

Erend was right. These people didn’t look Eclipse at all. They wore leather and linen instead of silk, well made armor of worked steel and machine parts, and none of them wore the wooden masks or bore the circular symbols of the Eclipse on their clothing. In fact, they didn’t wear any symbols or tribal markings at all. 

“Bandits, maybe,” she muttered under her breath. 

“Their armor is awfully good for bandits,” Erend said. “Their weapons too.” 

None of this added up. She needed more information. 

“We need to figure out who these people are, and what they have to do with the machines that attacked Hollow Fort. I’m going inside for a better look.”

“Alright,” Erend said immediately. “I’ve got your back. Let’s go.” 

His loyalty stabbed at her heart, reminding her of that one perfect day of hunting together, the feeling of having a strong, capable partner at her back. But things were too awkward between them now, too raw and painful. They would never have another day like that again, and the loss cut her to the bone. “No,” she said. Her throat was tightening painfully. “I’ll be faster and quieter on my own.” 

Erend’s voice was thick with hurt, “So… what, you want me to just sit here and wait around? While you risk your life? Aloy, please, let me help!”

“I’m just scouting the camp. We don’t have time for this, Erend—”  _ She  _ didn’t have time for this. She had to get moving or the prickling burn starting at the corners of her eyes would get worse. 

“Those people we found are already dead! What’s the rush? We can wait for dark, and—”

“No,” she said sharply, trying to keep her voice down. “I’m going. Alone. I’ll be back soon.”

She made the mistake of glancing at him as she stood up, and the crushing look of wounded betrayal on his face was almost too much to bear.  

“Just… wait for me here,” she said, and she slipped into the nearest patch of tall grass without waiting to hear his answer. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, the holidays have been ridiculous, and it's been a real battle to find some quiet time alone for me to write. I'm so glad to finally get this chapter posted. I hope you all are having a lovely holiday season, and have a fantastic New Year! 
> 
> Thanks so much for all the kudos, and you folks who take the time to comment are truly what keep me writing. Thank you so, so much!


	10. Chapter 10

Aloy crept along the perimeter of the Metal Ring, silently darting between patches of tall grass. 

The two people she had spotted on the wall were spread far apart, and it was relatively easy to time her movements.  Slowly, carefully, she made her way to the hole she had blown in the wall nearly a year before, back before the world had become so messy and confusing. The break wasn’t far, had even been within sight of where she’d left Erend— 

_ No. Focus! _ She ruthlessly forced Erend out of her mind. Now wasn’t the time. She took a deep breath and crept inside. 

The Ring was enormous, and—and—empty? Aloy’s Focus found only four people. She frowned and tried again. Surely there had to be more of them. Still, only four human shapes lit up under her scan; two walked along the top of the wall, alert and on guard, while the others were hunched orange outlines, standing together inside a crude shelter up on the remains of an Eclipse structure. 

There were no machines. 

This didn’t make any sense. Aloy peered out from the grass. How could it possibly be so empty? Surely these four couldn’t have taken that village out alone. And where had the machines come from? There had been evidence of so many of them at Hollow Fort. She crept closer, keeping her Focus active as she moved. None of this was what she had expected. She needed more information. 

Carefully, silently, keeping constant watch on the two lookouts, she made her way to the shelter. A wooden ramp lead up to the platform where the other two people were, and Aloy hid in the triangular space behind it. 

“—test was a complete success,” someone was saying above her; a gravely male voice like biting metal. “We’ve been watching that husk of a bandit camp for days and not even those Oseram merchants suspected anything.”  

“We’re ready for a real village, you think?” said the other, with a cold hunger in her voice. “I’m sick of these little bands of outcasts. We need to hit something with real loot.” 

“Yes. This one,”— shuffling sounds and creaking boards as the two people moved—“It’s well guarded, but isolated. Just make sure your archers are ready.  Verdan almost ruined everything with that tower guard.” 

The second voice snarled. “Yes. No missed shots, no alerted guards. This needs to be clean.” 

“Let’s get the lads. We need to meet up with the others and make for the next target. There’s a ruin here that should hide us until we’re ready to strike.” 

The woman’s voice was silk over a jagged blade. “Mmmm.. This is so much better than mercenary work.”

Aloy waited silently, huddled low in the shadow of the ramp and trying to keep her breathing even and quiet. This was bad. She still had no idea what was going on, but it was clear they were going to attack a village.  She  _ had  _ to get up there and see if there was anything to give her more information. 

Booted feet clattered over her head, something heavy thudded, then silence. She waited, counting breaths, trying to still her racing heart. _ Calm, calm. _ She had to be absolutely sure. 

Finally two sets of footsteps creaked across the floorboards above her, crossed a makeshift bridge, and stepped onto the wall of the Metal Ring itself. 

Aloy closed her eyes for a moment and let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. She let her shoulders drop again, and crept carefully, silently up the ramp. She paused again at the next bend, using the shelter of the level above to quickly scan for guards, until she finally made it to the top.

The little, open-walled hut was small, and contained nothing but a simple wooden table. Aloy scanned the floor with her Focus, starting to feel threads of anxiety crawling at the base of her neck. There had to be something. 

_ There.  _

Scratched on the table itself, outlined in faint charcoal was a crude map, with rough, triangular mountains and smudgy line rivers. Here and there were glyphs marking a village or machine site. One area was heavily smudged, several fingerprints visible in the charcoal where someone had pointed at it— a village tucked into a blade-like ridge of rock that stood like a wall in front of the mountains of the Embrace—Mother’s Crown. 

_ Oh no…  _

The village the gravelly-voiced person had mentioned was Mother’s Crown. And they were going to attack it. Aloy’s stomach lurched. She had to stop them. She had to— 

The air was suddenly full of shouting and arrows. 

 

———————-

 

Erend watched Aloy disappear into the grass, feeling vaguely as if someone had just torn a piece of him right out. 

He wanted to scream, wanted to take his hammer to the nearest tree and smash it to the ground. He wanted to find a tavern and… and… 

_ Damn it _ ! And he’d just disappear into the bottom of a bottle and be the worthless drunk everyone knew he was. 

Fire and spit, this couldn’t be happening  _ again _ .

_ Couldn’t let you get hurt _ , Ersa had said. And maybe that was true. But he wouldn’t have  _ needed  _ her protection if he’d been a halfway decent person to begin with. Idiot, she had called him. And he  _ was _ . He was such an idiot, letting Ersa do all the work of keeping him in line instead of figuring things out for himself. 

And now it was happening all over again. 

Left behind, stupid and useless, while the most important person in his world flung herself into danger. Last time—last time he’d lost Ersa, had found her broken and bloody, because he’d been much, much too late. 

Erend’s hands started to shake. He couldn’t do this again. The thought of finding Aloy as a shattered, bleeding mess, watching the fire in her hazel eyes slowly gutter out. His stomach heaved and he could taste a sour bile in the back of his throat.  _ Not again. Never again.  _

_ Couldn’t let you get hurt _ . 

Never again. 

He stuffed their packs up into the branches of a tree, jammed his helmet on and followed after Aloy. 

 

——————-

 

Pain lanced up Aloy’s spine as something clamped around the back of her neck, twisting her blue scarf tight enough to choke her, and heaved her off the ground.  Aloy gasped and choked, clawing at the scarf around her throat, trying to peel the fabric back and away enough for her to catch a breath. 

A voice shouted from behind her, bellowing loud enough to make her ears ring. “Intruder!” 

Everything seemed to happen all at once.

The two guards on the wall immediately echoed the alarm and drew their weapons. Half a heartbeat later, one clutched at his throat and toppled off the wall, clawing at empty air as he fell. 

On the ground, a bulky dark shape covered in leather and glinting steel darted behind a rock, notched a second arrow.  

_ Erend! _

“Now this is unexpected,” said the gravelly voice from behind her. 

Aloy flailed one leg back in a blind kick, hoping to crush a knee or sink a heel into her attacker’s gut. Instead he whipped her around, sending her leg through empty air, and clutched the front of her throat with both fists until she was suspended in front of him in a vise-like, two handed grip. 

“A little Nora girl where no Nora should be. And an Oseram as well.” He was a big man, heavily built and tall, with powerfully muscled arms and armor that seemed to be pieced together from a variety of tribes. He glared at her from under a pair of thick eyebrows. Aloy tried to kick him again, but couldn’t reach. A woman with pointed features and furious eyes sneered at Aloy from behind him. 

“Scouts?,” the woman hissed, looking around as if expecting others to descend on them as well. “The Nora couldn’t possibly have found us.” 

“It doesn’t matter,” the man said coldly. Aloy raked his fingers with her nails, clawing at his hands desperately. Her vision was starting to blur. “We had to erase our presence from this place anyway. We can make two kills with one arrow.” 

The woman’s face lit into a bloodthirsty grin, and she drew an enormous crossbow from where it was slung across her hip. She braced it against her shoulder and notched an arrow.

Aloy choked on a shout and flailed harder. The arrow was thick and heavy, with a flared base of metal and red glass. 

_ The same as—! _

The woman fired, and the heavy arrow tore through the air with an ominous  _ whumpf _ . It missed Aloy by more than an arm’s length, arching up over her shoulder, then down,  _ behind  _ her...

_ Erend!  _

She tried to turn, to scream a warning, heard him shout—

And then she was falling, falling. 

 

——————

One of the wall guards was dead. 

Erend  wrenched himself backward, and the spot where he’d been was suddenly full of rattler bolts. He kept going, turning his motion into a circle, and sent an arrow back at his attacker. 

The guard dropped his rattler and fell, an arrow in his chest. Erend gave a feral grin and turned. He had to get to Aloy. There had been people up there with her, and— 

Something slammed into his head. 

Something else bit into his chest. He was vaguely aware of the fact that he’d lost his balance, was tipping over. 

Then darkness claimed him. 

 

—————-

He came to with Aloy frantically grasping at his chest. 

Everything hurt, but he found himself groggily wishing Aloy wasn’t touching him through his armor. “She just can’t keep her hands off me,” he murmured, and slowly sat up.

“Shut up,” she hissed, scowling at him. “I thought you were dead.” He thought, though, that she looked more relieved than angry. Or was that wishful thinking? Then she shoved him, and the sharp pain that bloomed as he moved was all he could think about.

“Ow! Hey.” 

“Hold still,” she growled, and Erend realized she was stuffing a cloth bandage into his cuirass, putting pressure on a long, deep gash just below his collarbone. The sharp, biting smell of salvebrush made his eyes sting and the wound burn. 

He gingerly reached up to where his head was screaming agony. His fingers brushed against a hard, rapidly swelling knot, angry and hot and very, very bruised. Fire and spit, if he’d been hit even a hair lower, his eye would probably be swelling shut. 

Or he’d be dead. 

A familiar thick, heavy arrow sat on the ground beside him. And his helmet, Ersa’s helmet, with a sizable dent right in the center of the circular metal temple guard. The arrow had glanced off his helmet, sheared clean through the leather collar of his armor, and sliced his chest. He was ridiculously lucky to be alive.

_ Looks like you’re still saving my ass, Ersa.  _

“Are you okay?” he asked as Aloy finished with his armor and helped him to his feet. She was favoring one arm, and her shoulder looked bruised. 

“What the hell did you think you were doing?” she said, still scowling at him. She reached up and roughly smeared salvebrush on his head. 

“Hey,  _ ow! _ ” He was tired and hurting and frustrated, he'd almost died, and his patience was gone. “I was doing the same thing as you,” he glowered. “Whatever the hell I wanted.” 

Aloy’s eyes blazed. Oh, she was pissed. “I  _ told  _ you to wait for me.” 

“You’re not the boss of me.” It felt strangely good to see her frustrated. Anything after the endless stony silence he’d endured all morning!

For a wild moment Erend wondered if she was actually going to punch him. She looked ready to rip his arm off and beat him with it. He probably deserved it. 

Instead she paused and looked around with uncertainty.  “Something is … clicking.” 

“Oh, so that isn’t just the head injury?” _ I should probably stop being an asshole.  _

Aloy shot him a look that could have melted steel. She activated her device and her furious expression immediately melted into horror. “Emitting a signal,” she hissed through her teeth. 

His sarcastic mood turned icy. “What’s wrong?” 

She snatched up the strange arrow and pointed to the glass bulb on the end. “This thing isn’t a weapon. It’s a signalling device!”  She threw it on the ground and began scanning the horizon. 

“Signalling who?” he asked. His thoughts felt slow behind the ache in his head. 

“Remember Dervahl?” 

High above, a flock of Glinthawks screamed and wheeled toward them. 

Erend groaned. “Shit.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You, my wonderful readers, are all saints for putting up with my tardiness. Holy hell, this chapter. This chapter fought me so hard. I ended up re-writing it three times. I still don't know if it's any good, but I'm sick of messing with it, and you're all probably so, so sick of waiting for me. So here it is. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for the kudos and comments. I say this every time, but I seriously mean it when I say they mean the world to me. Thank you so, so much.


	11. Chapter 11

The heavy  _ whuff _ of metal wingbeats filled the air, accompanied by the high pitch alarm calls of other machines just outside the Metal Ring.

Despite the pain it caused, Erend jammed his helmet back on as the first of the Glinthawks swooped down on them, claws bared. One of Aloy’s arrows found its mark, and the machine veered towards him, shrieking. He followed her lead with a heavy swing of his warhammer, and sent the machine crashing to the ground in a heap.  _ Not enough! _ It was only stunned; they had to kill it, but three more Glinthawks were bearing down on them and the world was going cold and white. 

“That stupid arrow is going to keep luring in every machine for miles,” Aloy shouted from somewhere within a cloud of chillwater. “We’ve got to shut it down!” 

“Make the device stop,” Erend said, wiping frost from his face and toeing the arrow at his feet. “Right, I can do that!” 

He raised his hammer. 

The glass globe shattered on his first swing, shards clattering against his metal belly plate. He hit it a second time, just for good measure, pulverizing the metal, then ran to find Aloy. 

She’d made good use of those few seconds. 

One Glinthawk was already on fire, screaming rage from within a wreath of flame. Two more were gaining height for another stoop. Aloy had the butt of her spear against the fourth machine’s neck, the one he had stunned, and as Erend skidded to a halt beside her he could see its lens flicker from angry red to blue.  _ She’s taming it! _ Fire and spit, Aloy was incredible. 

The sharp yipping of Scrappers abruptly wrenched Erend’s gaze away. Several of the machines were leaping through the hole in the wall and headed for them. 

“This is going to be an even bigger party than we thought, Aloy.” 

Behind him, the newly tamed Glinthawk lumbered into the air and spat chillwater at its brethren. 

Aloy got to her feet beside him, her hand flickering against her Focus. “Good, the signal’s stopped. Now it’s only those three Scrappers,” she said, “and—and a Fire Bellowback.”

A guttural roar from just outside the Metal Ring punctuated her words

“Is this going to be a thing with you?” Erend asked, his voice going high and creaky at the end with adrenaline. “Whenever I spend time with you, I’m going to end up fighting crazy people and their machines?” 

Aloy drew her bow and loosed a fire arrow. “I never had this problem until you came along !”  she said, and oh, she was  _ grinning  _ at him. It felt like a lifetime since she’d done that, centuries since they had shared that easy comradery he cherished so much.

His chest hurt, his head was howling to the beat of his heart, and he wasn’t entirely convinced they weren’t about to die. But none of that seemed to matter in the face of Aloy’s smile.

 

——————

 

For a moment everything slipped perfectly into place again, and Aloy’s blood sang with savage joy. She and Erend were like two hands on the same bow, and together they made short work of the Glinthawks. 

Aloy riddled them with fire arrows, sending them crashing to the ground, where Erend would dart in to finish them off with a few well placed hammer blows. The next machine would already be falling by the time the previous one was dead. It was perfect, the pair of them each anticipating the other’s moves, distance precision and close range power woven together in perfect tandem. 

Then… Then the last Glinthawk shuddered and died, and Erend flashed her one of his triumphant grins, full of joy and that heady glowing warmth that always made her heart beat faster. Aloy’s throat abruptly closed with grief, the air driven from her lungs all at once.  _ I almost lost him.  _ For half a heartbeat she pictured him hit by the arrow again, toppling over with blood creeping down his armor _.  _ She’s come so close to losing him. Except he wasn’t hers to lose in the first place.  _ He doesn’t want you.  _ It was all too much, and the arm drawing her bowstring faltered.

Then the Scrappers hit them at the same time the Bellowback arrived, and the world was swirling chaos. 

The Glinthawk Aloy had overridden was immediately engulfed in an enormous gout of flame. It hit the ground in a charred heap, sparks flying.  _ There goes our help. _ But she didn’t have time to lament its loss because the Bellowback was thundering right at her. 

She tucked her shoulder and rolled. Erend roared something behind her. Scrapper blasts rang nearby, and the ground beside her exploded as the Bellowback slammed down where she had been seconds before. 

They didn’t have time for this. They had to take out these machines and stop those people! 

It seemed to take forever. 

The Scrappers would mob them, charging past with swipes of their claws, or pelting them with cannon blasts, all the while the Bellowback was spitting fire everywhere, sometimes close enough to shorten the hairs on Aloy’s arms. Every footstep felt off-balance, each turn wrong-footed and unsteady. The smooth precision from before degraded into ragged chaos, two people fighting individually instead of polished teamwork. It ached like a sore tooth, the wrongness of it all making Aloy feel slow and fumbling. 

Finally, after what seemed like scorching, ash-filled hours, Aloy managed to puncture the Bellowback’s dorsal sac, engulfing everything in the resulting fireball.  After that, it was short work for them to pick off the remaining Scrapper and put the limping, charred Bellowback out of its misery. 

Aloy slumped wearily against a boulder and took several deep breaths of cool, clean air. It felt like they’d been fighting for years, but to look at the sun it had been less than an hour since she’d first entered the Metal Ring. She’d fought through an entire Eclipse camp and felt less worn and battered than this. 

Next to her, Erend sagged in his armor, breathing hard. He pulled off his helmet with an exhausted grimace. “That was a lot more fire than I wanted to experience today,” he groaned, turning to face her. “Do I still have eyebrows?”

“Yeah,” Aloy said, huffing a tiny laugh despite herself. He always somehow made her laugh. “But you,” she gestured around her eye and just above her temple where Erend had been hit earlier, “You’re starting to turn some pretty horrible colors.” 

He sighed and gingerly felt around the injury, looking as tired and ragged as she felt.  _ Better than being dead _ , she thought with a shudder. She’d found him slumped on his side, that enormous arrow protruding from his chest. He’d been so horribly  _ still _ . Looking at him now, Aloy’s fingers itched to touch him, to assure her frayed nerves that he was still alive and whole.  _ He doesn’t want you.  _ Her heart clenched.

“Come on,” she heard herself say instead. “We still have to find the people that did this. They’re going to attack Mother’s Crown.”

“With those signal arrow things?” Erend looked appalled. “Lure in a bunch of machines and let them do their dirty work? Butchers and cowards.” His mouth twisted with disgust. 

Aloy nodded. “They said they were meeting others somewhere ahead. We have to find them before they reach the village.”

Despite looking thoroughly battered and exhausted, Erend nodded with determination. “I’ve got your back,” he said, though his fingers twitched, like he was holding back from reaching out to her.

Aloy swallowed back a sad sigh, bit down on the question that burned in her throat like blaze— _ why don’t you want me? _ —and headed for the way out. 

 

———————

 

They retrieved their packs from where Erend had stashed them and quickly picked up the trail. 

It didn’t matter how many times he saw her do it, Erend was always amazed at Aloy’s ability to coax knowledge from thin air using that ancient device of hers. She was absolutely brilliant, so incredibly capable, the smartest person he’d ever known—it made his throat tight with something he couldn’t name. 

They followed the trail for several hours, occasionally finding a scrap of leather or a cut branch to prove they were on the right track, but with no sign of catching up to their quarry.  By the time the sun was starting to dip lower into late afternoon, they reached the valley that marked the end of the green lowlands surrounding Devil’s Grief. The village Aloy was worried about, Mother’s Crown, was a spot of firelight on the far side of the valley, high on a ridge of mountain.  

Thick clouds were gathering behind them, and a distant low rumble warned of heavy rain to come. Aloy scowled at the approaching storm. They would have to find a place to shelter for the night, and Erend knew it chafed at her like badly fitting armor to have to wait. 

“The storm looks like it’s moving quickly,” he suggested, hoping to ease the frustration burning across her face. “If we hole up somewhere now, we can be ready to go as soon as it passes. We’d be a lot harder to spot in the dark.”

Aloy shot another scalding look at the sky and slowly let out a long breath. “You’re right,” she sighed. “There’s a place near the river where we can wait out the storm. Let’s go.” 

It was a relief to not have to make camp in the dark. Aloy had brought them to a stone overhang amongst a thick outcropping of tall rocks. They would have shelter from the rain, and from any hostile eyes that might be watching. 

Erend sat down with a weary groan and fished out the tiny polished metal mirror he kept in his shaving kit. “That’s a hell of a shiner,” he muttered, gently pressing his fingers to the dark, blue and black patches around his eye. 

Aloy sat down next to him, a vial of salvebrush in one hand. “You should have waited for me,” she said, her voice cold and emotionless. 

He’d been expecting her to say that—it was even maybe a little bit true. But he was tired, his head hurt and his chest complained with each breath. And there was a creeping sadness in his bones that seemed to rear up at her words and drain away all the energy he had left. He knew what he was, he knew she didn’t want him, and he was so, so tired from the weight of everything left unsaid between them. So the words were out of his mouth before he even thought to consider them, “Yeah, I know. The useless drunk would just slow you down, right?”

“What? No.” Aloy frowned at him and set the salvebrush on the ground beside her. “Look,” she said, pinching the bridge of her nose, “I just needed some time alone.” 

Erend huffed a bitter laugh. “Time alone? While you—-while you scout an enemy camp? C’mon, Aloy, at least don’t lie to me.”  

Her eyes blazed with sudden anger. “You want to talk about lying?” she hissed, stabbing a finger at his little scrap of polished metal. “Maybe you should look at your own reflection!”  

He couldn’t have been more confused if she’d punched him. “What are you talking about?” 

“Your face!” 

“Hell, Aloy, thanks a lot.”  

Her hands balled into fists. “That’s not what I meant,” she snarled. “One minute you look—” her expression twisted as she tried to find words, “you look—happy. And then you try to pretend you aren’t, like there was nothing. Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”

Erend could feel his eyebrows slowly creeping higher and higher. He’d thought he’d been protecting her from his pathetic infatuation, and instead she’d seen right through him the whole time! Shame burned across his face all the way to his ears. 

She was eyeing him like a hunter with prey in her sights. “You wanted to talk, back at the camp this morning,” she said coldly, crossing her arms across her chest and staring at him expectantly. “So talk!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter fought me almost as badly as the last one. I hope it's not completely horrible. >_< Most of the next one written already, so there won't be another insanely long lapse between updates at least. Thank you all so much for continuing to read, and for putting up with my bouts of tardiness. You've been so awesome in the comments and with kudos, and I appreciate you all so much. You're the best!


	12. Chapter 12

Thunder growled overhead. Erend barely registered the sound over the sudden frantic beat of his heart. 

Oh, he had wanted to talk to her, wanted so badly to apologize, and maybe even explain himself a little if she let him. But now, cornered and facing her raw anger, his blood went icy cold. He fidgeted nervously with the little mirror in his hands.

Fire and spit, how the  _ hell _ was he supposed to do this? 

“Aloy, I’m sorry, I wasn’t—I just—” The mirror slipped and clattered on the stone by his feet, sounding a thousand times louder than the thunder outside. His palms had started to sweat and he pressed them anxiously against the tops of his thighs. He took a breath. “I didn’t want to mess things up.” 

“What things?” Her voice was low and cold, but her eyes still flashed with anger. 

“This,” he said, waving his hand between them. “I didn’t want to ruin our friendship.” Rain began to pound on the rocks, sheeting down the overhang above them in a silver curtain, separating them from the rest of the world. It should have been beautiful. Instead it felt like the bars of a cage closing in.

One of Aloy’s eyebrows crept upward at his words. “Expressing happiness is going to ruin our friendship,” she said flatly. Her voice absolutely oozed skepticism. 

“No!” This was going so much worse than he could have ever imagined.

“Then what the hell do you mean?” She was growing exasperated. Her hands flung out in front of her like she wanted to shake him. 

Erend’s throat was slowly squeezing shut. “I don’t—I’m—I didn’t want to lose you!” 

“Lose me?” she asked incredulously. “Do you think I’m going to die?” 

“That’s not what I meant!” 

“Erend, just speak plainly!” He had never seen her so agitated. She was  _ pacing _ now.  Fire and spit, she wasn’t just going to be angry at him, she was going to  _ hate  _ him. His heart was hammering panic against his ribs and his lungs couldn’t seem to pull in any air. He was screwing up  _ everything!  _

“I just—”  _ Speak plainly. _ “I want to be with you,” he managed to rasp through the enormous lump in his throat. 

“I’m here with you right now! You aren’t making any sense!” Her hands clutched the air as if they ached to strangle something, her pacing steps sharp and clipped, fury and frustration in every line of her. “Are you deliberately trying to lead me in circles? Since when did you become Marad? I thought we were—”

Erend’s nerves snapped, painful and sharp like a tear in muscle. He shot to his feet and grabbed her by the shoulders. “Damn it, Aloy.” Shame and self loathing were making him feel physically sick. Nausea crawled along his belly. This was a nightmare. There was no escape. Just let her strike the killing blow and end this horrible, drawn out agony. Let her say it, confirm he was completely useless and get it done. Cold despair sat heavily in his chest. 

“Look, I—”  _ Say it. Just say it!  _ “I—love you. Okay?” Oh, it was all over for him now. There was no going back. He let out a ragged breath and hurried to clarify before all her fury simply exploded. “And I  _ know _ you don’t want me like that! I understand. But—you’re also probably the best friend I’ve got. I know it’s selfish, but I wanted to keep your friendship. I didn’t—I  _ don’t _ want to lose that. So I tried to keep quiet.” Her eyes were very wide as he let her go. Fire and spit, she must be completely appalled. “I should have told you. But I was afraid you wouldn’t want anything to do with me once you knew. So instead I was a damned coward.” He swallowed back another surge of nauseous self loathing. “Aloy, I’m so sorry.” 

She stared at him for a long, long moment, her expression painfully unreadable. The sound of rain was horribly loud against silence that seemed to stretch on and on. “So...” she said slowly, and Erend waited for the blade to strike his heart. “You love me.” It wasn’t a question.    
  
“Yeah.” He couldn’t look at her anymore. He stared down at his hands, shame scorching across his face. 

“And you  _ know  _ I don’t want you?” 

He squeezed his eyes shut. He had hoped she would give him a clean kill, not rub salt in the wound. “Yes,” he whispered.  

“Why?” Aloy asked sharply, and Erend’s eyes snapped back up to hers. “Why would I not want you?” she persisted. 

There was an invisible hand squeezing his heart. Was she actually going to force him to list his every failing? Give explicit details on the giant trail of screw-ups that was his life?  “I—” he stammered. He didn’t even know where to start! 

Aloy threw her hands in the air. “Are you kidding me?” she roared, turning to pace a few steps away and then back again. Her eyes blazed up at him and Erend wondered wildly whether he should try to apologize more or keep silent so she didn’t break his jaw. 

“I can’t believe you,” she hissed, still moving restlessly. “All this time, you were—I thought—.” 

And then, all at once, Aloy seemed to just… deflate. She sighed, a heavy, exhausted sound that left her shoulders drooping. She stepped closer, until she was nearly touching him, and—just as she had the day before—she dropped her forehead down to rest against the folds of his scarf. 

Erend froze, afraid to so much as breathe in case she spooked like a machine and ate him. His heart lodged painfully in the back of his throat. 

“Why do you think I asked you to come hunting with me?” she asked quietly into his shoulder. 

“You… wanted company.”

“I wanted  _ your  _ company.” Aloy stepped back, rolling her eyes and throwing up her hands. “You know I prefer to be on my own.”  She reached out and knocked the heel of her palm against his shoulder, jolting him.“But I  _ like  _ spending time with you. More than being alone.” Her expression flooded with hurt and Erend thought his heart might shatter. 

“I kept trying to tell you,” she continued softly. “I thought you  _ knew. _ It was all over your face. Except then you would…” Her hand clenched into a fist against his shoulder and her voice wavered, “I thought—,” another tired sigh, “It doesn’t matter what I thought.” 

She looked so lost and vulnerable that Erend thought he might actually die. His ears were roaring in time with his pulse. His lungs seemed to have turned to solid steel behind his ribs. 

Aloy pinned him with her gaze for a long moment, her eyes flicking back and forth between his. “So, just to make sure there aren’t any more misunderstandings, I  _ do _ want you.” She took a breath, “I—think I might love you. And—” the corner of her mouth turned upward by a hair “—if you still don’t believe me after this I’m going to shove you off a bridge.”  

This couldn’t be happening. Nothing in Erend’s life worked like this. His head felt mushy. Every thought flashing through his mind felt like trying to grab an oiled piece of armor—each one slipping away before he could make sense of them. “Me?” he finally managed to whisper, bewildered. 

She moved smoothly as a Stalker, grabbing two fistfuls of his scarf faster than he could register, and pressed a shy kiss to his mouth. 

The hurricane of thoughts careening through his head ground to a complete, shuddering halt. 

“Yes, idiot,” she said softly, “You.” And Erend’s blood ignited like blaze. 

The breath lodged in his lungs shuddered into motion and his heart was pounding like a forge hammer. “Aloy...” he breathed, and threw his arms around her in an enormous bear hug. He held her as tightly as he dared, burying his face in the crook of her neck and breathing her in as a torrent of emotion erupted in his chest. 

Aloy let out a strained, slightly hysterical little laugh and squirmed her arms to slip them tightly around his middle. Erend echoed her laugh and clung to her, lost in the feel of her against him, the scent of her hair. 

“I love you,” Aloy murmured into his scarf. 

And  _ oh _ , Erend had been drunk more times in his life than he cared to admit, but no amount of brew came anywhere close to the giddy exhilaration that suddenly seared through his veins. He held Aloy tight and whirled her around in a circle, utterly intoxicated, his mind hammering  _ I love you, I love you! _ again and again the beat of his heart. 

He set her down and stepped back just enough to look her in the eye. Aloy was grinning up at him. She was too skinny, and her hair too long by Oseram standards, her mannerisms too wild and unpolished for the Carja, far too curious and headstrong for the Nora. 

She was absolutely perfect. 

Erend raised his hands to cradle the sides of her face, his thumbs gently smoothing over the soft, warm skin at her temples. “Can I?” he breathed. 

At her nod he leaned in carefully, trying not to let his hands shake with anticipation. He drew her to him and kissed her slowly, gently, with as much passion as he dared without overwhelming her. 

Aloy exhaled against his mouth, a tiny gasp of wanting, and her hands reached around to clutch at his shoulders, drawing him closer. The feel of her was like the first gasp of air to a drowning man, like finally coming home after weeks of grueling travel. He cradled her in his hands, deepening the kiss further as his heart spun wildly behind his ribs.

Aloy fumbled a little at first, clearly new to this, but oh, she was enthusiastic. Her body pressed against his torso, and Erend inwardly cursed his armor for preventing him from feeling the warmth of her fully. But taking it off would mean he would have to stop kissing Aloy, and that was  _ not _ happening. Ever. Instead he slid one hand around to cup the back of her head, gliding his fingers through the warm tangle of her hair. Drunk on the taste of her and throwing caution to the wind, he angled his mouth to gently catch her lower lip, grazing it with just the barest hint of his teeth. The noise she made was the best sound Erend had ever heard, and every nerve in his body thrilled with electricity. He held her tight and kissed her fervently until they were both breathless.

Eventually his lungs demanded he stop. He drew back just enough to rest his forehead against hers and catch his breath. Aloy made a contented little hum and circled her arms around his neck. 

“Wow...” he breathed, feeling more than a little lightheaded.

Aloy huffed a tiny laugh, “Yeah.”

They stayed that way for a long moment, just breathing together and holding each other close. Time for his heart to stop racing and for guilt to slowly creep in. 

“I’m sorry I was such a thickheaded bung,” Erend said softly. “I’m an idiot and I’m sorry.” He drew back just enough to look at her. Fresh doubt squirmed against his stomach. “After all that, are you sure you actually want my stupid ass?” 

She huffed another little laugh, her warm breath ghosting over his face. “I’d say your ass is more stubborn than stupid. I think I can work with stubborn. Should be easy, after the Nora.” Her eyes danced, and Erend smiled a little despite himself. 

“You could have anyone, you know.” He couldn't quite believe she wanted  _ him. _ Part of him was certain he was going to wake up any minute. He couldn’t possibly be this lucky. “You even had Avad hitting on you.” 

“That was a private conversation. Were you eavesdropping on your king?” she asked with a sardonic grin. 

He laughed at her expression and shook his head. “No, he told me! Said you shot him down like a fat goose before he even realized what he was doing.” She chuckled and he gave her a gentle squeeze just because he could, in awe that she was  _ letting  _ him. “I guess—I guess that’s part of why I didn’t say anything. You didn’t want a king! What chance did a stupid lug like me have?”

“Why would I want a king?” she asked, wrinkling her nose. Then she fixed him with those brilliant eyes and Erend felt his heart beat a little faster. “I want someone who treats me like something besides the Anointed or a grimy outlander. I want someone I can trust, and who trusts me. Someone who,” she smiled, “has my back.” Erend let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Then her smile turned into a playful smirk, and she raised an eyebrow. “Besides,  _ Avad  _ doesn’t come hunting with me and set me up for kill shots on machines.” 

Erend felt almost dizzy with relief and joy. “And the truth is out,” he grinned. “She wants me for the warhammer. I knew it couldn’t be my charming personality.” 

“Pfft. That’s ridiculous,” she said, still smirking. “It’s your bow I’m after.  Although…” she tapped her chin as if considering, “the personality is growing on me a little.” 

The laugh that came out of him was almost hysterical. “Remind me to stock up on fancy weapons next time we see a merchant. Maybe some of those crazy Banuk ones. Wouldn’t want you to lose interest.” 

Aloy leaned forward and kissed him again, the heat of her mouth against his sending sparks careening down his spine. Then she shifted, suddenly drawing his bottom lip between her teeth and nibbling at it.  _ Oh, she’s a fast learner! _  Erend’s eyes rolled back and his knees almost buckled under him; a rather embarrassing moan escaped his throat.  __ As she drew back Aloy favored him with the smuggest grin he’d ever seen. “I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.” 

_ Fire and spit, _ he was the luckiest man on the planet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY! I'm so glad to finally get to this bit (and I really hope it turned out okay!)
> 
> Thank you all again for being patient with me. My job has a major event in late March, which means long hours and not nearly enough time for writing. Please know I'll never, ever abandon this story. So while the chapters will still be a little slow, they're definitely still coming! 
> 
> And thank you for the comments and kudos! You lot are the best!


	13. Chapter 13

Aloy grinned up at the dazed expression on Erend’s face, feeling very pleased with herself for having put it there. It was new and exciting, knowing she could affect him so easily, could make him so blindingly happy just by being herself. 

But then he was reaching for her again, almost helplessly, a look of tender affection in his eyes, and her smug satisfaction dissolved away under the enveloping warmth of his arms.

She stood with her fingers pressing into the leather on his back, her face buried against the crook of his neck, warm and safe and so  _ wanted _ , and resolved to never move again. 

Never in her life had she felt wanted like this. People had wanted things  _ from _ her, of course. Or wanted her to  _ be _ something; a tool, an icon, a warrior. But no one had ever, ever just wanted her for herself. The thought that anyone  _ could _ had never really crossed her mind. Even Rost—Aloy never doubted that he cared about her; but he had never said why he’d raised her, never told her anything except that he was following the wishes of the Matriarchs. She had been afraid to ask him. 

Oh, but now…

There were no questions now. Erend’s arms pulled tightly around her, one hand absently sliding up and down her shoulder blades. His cheek was pressed to her temple, the bristly hair on his face tickling her skin. He clung to her like she was something precious, like he never wanted to let her go. It was intoxicating. Aloy breathed in a slow, steadying breath.

No one had ever wanted her like this. 

Since the Proving—since Rost—she had tried to make sure she never needed anyone else; she was faster alone anyway. It was safer, not letting anyone get too close. And it was  _ terrifying _ , being this vulnerable, like having her armor torn off in the middle of a fight. And yet she couldn’t bear to put those barriers back up. The solid warmth of Erend’s body felt like it  _ belonged _ there against her. And somehow the smell of him, despite still being new to her, felt like… home. She breathed him in; leather and metal and the enticing scent of his skin. No, she was never moving again. 

The outside world seemed to blur and fade. They stood twined together for a long time, tucked away from reality behind a curtain of falling water, simply breathing together and savoring the moment. Time seemed to slow. Aloy let her mind gradually drift, her heartbeat slowing as she felt herself completely relax for the first time in days. 

_ Crack! _

A particularly loud thunderclap boomed overhead, startling them both into undignified shrieks. 

They stood for a heartbeat, shaking, clutching to each other and trying to slow their frantic breathing. Aloy slowly unclenched her fists from his shirt and looked up at Erend’s startled, wide eyed expression. She burst into a fit of giggles. He joined her, both of them slightly hysterical with adrenaline, and slowly they unwound themselves from each other. 

The perfect, timeless feeling had vanished. The drumming of the rain and thick scent of water seemed to snap the world back into focus. Duty and responsibility flooded back in. There were killers to track, people to save. 

They couldn’t just stand here forever. 

Aloy slid her hands down and off Erend’s armor, letting her fingers brush the folds of cloth she had stuffed against his arrow wound. It had sat neglected all this time, untreated except for initially stopping the bleeding. It needed a thorough cleaning, maybe stitches, and something to prevent infection. She frowned and tapped at the metal plates of his cuirass. 

“You need to take this off,” she said. Where had she put that vial of salvebrush?

“Hey now,” Erend said with a huge grin, “at least buy me dinner first.” 

Aloy sighed noisily and rolled her eyes. She swatted his arm. “I need to look at your cut, idiot.” He didn’t stop grinning, and she couldn’t help but smile too. The horrible, looming awkwardness between them was gone. They were back to the comfortable friendship they had built together, except now the carefully kept walls between them had vanished, pulled away like the door to a ruin, revealing depths they hadn’t realized existed. It was so obvious now, the feelings growing between them. How had they not realized it before? Aloy shook her head. 

She helped Erend out of his heavy armor and sat him down in front of her. He unlaced the V-shaped collar of his shirt and held it open, grimacing as dried blood made it cling to his skin. The cut sat just below his collarbone, long and ugly, but thankfully not deep enough to need stitches. Aloy tried not to think about how lucky he had been, and quickly got it cleaned and slathered with more salvebrush. His skin was hot under her fingers as she worked, and a wild part of her ached to slide her hands further down, to explore every contour of his chest and belly, to learn what would make him gasp and shudder. 

When she looked up at him, Erend’s eyes were dark and he was very still beneath her hands. She wondered if he was thinking the same things she was. Aloy smiled. 

“There,” she said, smoothing a clean strip of cloth over the whole thing; the sticky salvebrush paste would hold it in place. “That should keep until tomorrow.” 

Erend nodded, exhaling a shaky breath as she finished with the bandage. “Thanks,” he said softly, though his voice was rough. The sound made warmth pool low in Aloy’s belly. 

She wasn’t ready just yet to fully explore everything her body was clamoring for. This… thing between them was still too new—you didn’t take a bow out hunting before you got to know its grip, the strength of its draw. But the feel of Erend’s warmth beneath her fingers was too much to resist entirely, and she wasn’t willing to stop just yet. Besides, he needed those bruises looked at.

“Give me your head,” she said, gesturing at him to lean closer. His lips twitched, and he was clearly biting down on another snarky remark, but he did as she asked. 

She thumbed another jar from her belt—hintergold this time—and carefully rubbed the sweet-smelling balm into the blotchy purple and blue-black places on Erend’s face. He closed his eyes and sighed at her touch, only grimacing occasionally when she hit a particularly sore spot. It was finished far too quickly, and soon Aloy was simply using the salve as an excuse to continue tracing the line of his eyebrow, the jut of his cheek bone, to run her fingers along the delicate skin just below his eye. 

Erend opened his eyes as her fingers began straying down his cheek and into the hair along his jaw. They were very blue in the dim light. He gave her a crooked grin. “See anything you like?” 

Heat rushed across Aloy’s face. “Sorry,” she mumbled, and shoved the hintergold into his hands. “Hold this.”

He caught her hands as she pressed the jar at him. “Hey, don’t be sorry,” he said, searching her face for a minute. The heat below Aloy’s navel flared like blaze. “The most amazing woman ever wants to put her hands on me.” His smile was ridiculous—and completely adorable. “I’m very okay with that.” 

Aloy let her breath out in an embarrassed huff and leaned forward to kiss his stupid, adorable nose. “Seriously, hold this,” she said, ignoring his dazed grin, and pressed the jar more firmly into his hands. 

She unwound her scarf from her neck, pulled the outermost pieces of her armor off her shoulders, and rolled up the bit of sleeve to examine her left arm. The bruises there weren’t nearly as bad as Erend’s, a testament to her reflexes after that man had dropped her off the platform. They still ached plenty, though, so she was going to give them a good dose of hintergold. 

“Shit, Aloy!” Erend said suddenly, startling her. “What the hell happened?” 

“I hit my shoulder,” she said flatly. Why was this a big deal? He was reaching for her as if she were bleeding out. 

“No,” he said, still looking—furious? Was he  _ angry? _ He scrabbled at the ground for a moment and came up with the little polished metal mirror he had been using earlier. “Your neck,” he said sharply, and held out the mirror.  “Look.”

The reflection revealed a riot of purple-black bruises, stark and angry against her throat, arching up to the sides of her neck. 

They looked distinctively like hand prints. 

_ Oh. _

“That man on the platform,” Erend asked softly, his voice still rumbling with anger, “he did that to you?” 

“He caught me off guard,” Aloy said, embarrassed to have to admit it. “It looks worse than it is.”

Erend’s mouth tightened, and before she could react he snatched the hintergold out of her hands. “Give me that,” he growled. He swiped his fingers in the thick salve, reached for her, then hesitated. The anger in his face had faded into something shy and uncertain. “Can I?” 

Aloy nodded, a little bit baffled, then sighed at the feel of Erend’s fingertips carefully smoothing salve over her skin. 

“When I find that asshole I’m going to ring  _ his _ neck,” Erend grumbled, rolling his thumb against the bruises at her throat. His hands were warm and surprisingly gentle, and Aloy was amazed at how easy it was for her to close her eyes and trust him, to lose herself to the careful sweep of his fingers. In fact, that same wild part of her from before began wondering what it would be like for his hands to slip down lower, past the collar of her shirt, until.. 

When she met his eyes again they had gone dark like before, the pupils very wide, and he looked at her with a sort of longing, hungry expression that made her a little breathless. 

He reached for her injured arm next, tucking her hand into the crook of his elbow. Then he used his other hand to sweep salve from her shoulder, down her arm, then back up again, in long, delicious strokes. Aloy bit her lip and tried not to shiver. 

When he finished he carefully rolled her sleeve back into place and pulled her hand free. Aloy let it sit in his palm, her fingers curling loosely around his thumb. 

“So…” he said roughly. “What happens now?” 

Aloy swallowed. The heat in her belly had spread, igniting at his touch until her blood seemed to race with fire. She tightened her grip on his hand, turning her wrist until their fingers could lace together. “Well,” she temporized, her thoughts still clinging to the way his hands had caressed the delicate skin of her arm—  

A low, rumbling growl interrupted her train of thought. 

Erend looked stricken, and clapped his free hand across his middle as if to stifle the noise. He looked away, his ears going distinctly rosy. “Sorry,” he muttered. 

Aloy blinked, then giggled, and then she was laughing outright as poor Erend looked at her sheepishly. 

“Apparently the answer is, ‘we make dinner’,” she said, and kissed the blazing red of his cheek. 

——————

They made a meal from their store of trail rations and ate in companionable silence, watching the heavy curtain of rain water darken from dim twilight to a barely visible shimmer of inky black. The worst of the storm had passed, but the torrential rain didn’t show any signs of letting up. Eventually Aloy gave up waiting and decided they’d be better off getting some rest. 

As Erend banked their fire down to barely smoldering embers, Aloy shook out their bedrolls and laid them out as usual. She stripped off her armor until she was down to her leather tunic and leggings, and sat amids her blankets, hugging her knees as she thought about tomorrow. 

Those people couldn’t be very far ahead of them, especially since they would have been slowed down by the storm. And even an insane group of killers couldn’t reliably fire or aim weapons in a deluge like this. They would be taking shelter just like she and Erend were. She had to use that to her advantage. And she would have to be careful. If she had learned anything today, it was that she had so, so much more to lose now. 

Finished with the fire, Erend kicked off his boots and joined her, settling cross-legged on his bedroll to face her. He watched her for a long moment, then ran his hand along the back of his head, ruffling his hair. 

“Hey, so… Tomorrow,” he said. 

Aloy tilted her head to meet his eyes. He looked nervous. 

“So, when we find these people,” he continued, watching her plaintively. “Please don’t leave me behind again? Let me come with you.”

Aloy’s spine went ridged and her shoulders tensed. Her fingers tightened around her knees, digging into the leather there. For one horrible moment she was flooded with the memory of Rost, watching him fall to his knees as Helis’ knife found its mark, laying there unable to save him. She bit her lip hard. “Erend, it’s better for both of us if I go in alone.” 

“What happened to ‘we make a good team’, huh?” he asked sharply. Then his voice went hollow and cold, barely more than a whisper, “Do you think I can’t hack it?”

“No!” Aloy raked her fingers through her hair, along her scalp. “I know you can handle yourself in a fight,” she said. 

“Then why—” 

“Rost died!” she hissed, clenching her fingers tightly. “Because of me. He followed me, to watch over me.” She swallowed down bitter, aching grief. “I tried—I couldn’t… And he died.” 

Erend was quiet for a long, long moment. Then he was next to her, slipping an arm around her shoulders. “He didn’t want you to get hurt,” he said softly. 

_ A dim storage basement. The broken body of a woman cradled in Erend’s arms, her coughing harsh in Aloy’s ears. “I couldn’t let you get hurt.”  _

She grimaced and leaned into Erend’s shoulder. His body was a warm stripe along her side. “You almost died today,” she whispered. 

“And some scorched-out bung threw you off a building. By your throat.” He leaned his head to rest against hers and gave her a squeeze. “That—could have been really bad.” 

The corner of Aloy’s mouth twitched. It would have been funny, if it weren’t all so tangled up with grief. They were so similar, the pair of them; each desperate to protect the other, each trying to protect themselves from reliving their most painful loss. 

She took a slow, deep breath. “We  _ do  _ make a good team,” she said, and sighed. “Okay. I promise. I won’t go alone—as long as you do the same! Someone has to watch your back too.” 

She could feel Erend’s smile against her temple. “Deal,” he said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy weekend, all! Thank you so, so much for putting up with the long wait! Thankfully I've survived all the work craziness and I finally have a normal schedule again. Boy did I miss this story. Hopefully this chapter is okay, considering how long it's been between updates. >_<
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who's commented and given kudos. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. <3!


	14. Chapter 14

It was the sound of someone moving nearby that eventually dragged Erend to consciousness; the abrupt noise of footsteps and the susurrus rustle of leather on leather. Pale dawn light was just barely seeping into their shelter when he opened his eyes, sleep still clinging to thoughts as slow and sluggish as cold honey. Tangled, confusing remnants of half remembered dreams flitted through his head. He tried for a moment to make sense of them all, then gave it up as a lost cause. 

With a tired groan he sat up, rubbing bleary eyes, trying to will himself fully awake, and only succeeded in yawning. 

“About time you woke up,” came Aloy’s voice to his right.

He turned, still a little groggy, and  _ oh.  _

For a moment he was welded to the ground, frozen, his heart stopped behind his ribs. The early morning light gently lit Aloy’s features, casting beams of thin, pale gold and russet across her skin. Her eyes sparkled in the low light, mossy hazel and flecks of brilliant gold. Behind her, the glow of the campfire set her hair ablaze, surrounding her with a halo of radiant forge flame and burnished copper. 

All the air promptly left Erend’s lungs. 

He watched, spellbound, as the incredible woman in front of him, beautiful beyond imagining, stepped closer and crouched beside him. 

Part of him had been certain that yesterday had been a dream, the wishful thinking of an idiot. There was no way it could have been anything else! He was a stupid, useless drunk, after all, and Aloy was—she was—

“I was beginning to wonder if you were going to sleep all day,” Aloy said, close enough to send threads of electricity down his spine. She searched his face for a moment, and her smile slowly turned soft in a way that made his heart absolutely  _ lurch. _ Then she kissed him, and Erend’s brain was shorting out like a broken sparker. A wave of heat started in his face and quickly rushed down his body, making his skin tingle. 

He reached for her, helplessly, gently drawing her closer until she was leaning into him with her arms framing his ribs. He cradled her face in his hands, completely in awe. Her skin was warm and unbelievably soft under his fingers. Aloy leaned closer, smiling against his mouth, and for a few glorious moments he completely lost himself in the taste of her. He couldn’t believe she was actually  _ here. _ Couldn’t believe she  _ wanted _ to be here, with  _ him. _ Fire and spit, he was so lucky it _ ached.   _

And he was definitely awake now.

“Morning,” he breathed when they finally drew apart.

“Good morning, she said. Her cheeks were adorably red. Then she reached one hand for the injured side of his face. “You look pretty awful,” she grimaced.

Erend sputtered laughter. “Wow, I’m awake for ten seconds and she’s already gutting me!” He clutched his chest in mock agony.

Aloy sat back on her heels and shot him an exasperated scowl. “I mean all this,” she said, gesturing at his bruises. Her face was getting redder.

“No, no, I get it,” Erend said, grinning wider. She was such fun to tease. “First she doesn’t want me for the personality, now I’m hideous...” 

“Oh shut up,” she said, shoving his shoulder. 

“I still have the warhammer though!” 

“Agh!” She grabbed the pillow from her bedroll and hit him with it. 

He couldn’t contain his mirth, his laughter punctuated by loud thwacks as she swung at him a few more times, until finally he held his hands up in surrender, breathless with amusement. Aloy ignored him, barraging him with pillow blows and giggling like a child. She was laughing harder with each swing, her eyes dancing, until she was simply too gorgeous for Erend to resist. He threw his arms around her and sank back against his bedroll, startling a yelp of surprise out of Aloy as he took her down with him. 

They lay there for a moment as their laughter subsided, grinning at each other and catching their breath. Aloy lay half sprawled across him, her arms partially encircling his neck. She was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

Half a dozen flirtatious jokes were waiting on the tip of his tongue;  _ Looks like she’s fallen for me,  _ or  _ Did I give the warmaid more trouble than she could handle?  _  But it was, “I love you,” that slipped past his lips before he even realized he’d opened his mouth. 

Aloy blinked at him, and for a moment every nerve shrilled with fear that he’d somehow overstepped. He’d been too forward, too physical, too— 

“I love you,” Aloy breathed, her arms tightening around him, her fingernails gently scraping against the stubble on his scalp and threading into his hair. She kissed his nose, rested her forehead against his, the curtain of her hair surrounding him in copper flame, and Erend wondered absently if it was possible to actually die of happiness. 

They lay there for several perfect minutes, breathing each other in. Eventually, though, cramping muscles and squashed limbs demanded they move. Aloy carefully sat up and fixed her eyes on the landscape outside their little shelter, and Erend watched her expression shift into one he had seen on her face many times before. But this time there was no sharp pang of loneliness in his chest to accompany it, only a deep feeling of gratitude that this time he would get to stay by her side. 

“We gotta go,” he said softly, helping her to her feet. “Right?” It felt ridiculously good, that “we.”

“Yeah,” she murmured, a far away look in her eyes. “I want to get moving as soon as possible, get as much of a head start on them as we can. We can’t let them get to Mother’s Crown.” 

Erend couldn’t help but smile at her. By the forge he loved this incredible, fiery woman. “We’ll catch up,” he said, and put his arm around her shoulder. “Those guys won’t know what hit ‘em.” 

She turned to him with a fierce smile. “Let’s go.”

 

————————

 

They washed up, downed some travel food, and were packed and on their way before the sun had finished rising. Despite her teasing Erend about sleeping late, Aloy was pleased at how early they had broken camp. The sun was only a little more than half visible on the horizon. Surely she and Erend could catch up to those killers quickly. 

Tracking them directly was out of the question, though. The heavy, pounding rain from the night before had washed away what little trail the killers had left behind, leaving nothing but puddles and thick mud. Still, that man had said there were ruins near Mother’s Crown where they could hide, so they could only be heading for the outskirts of Devil’s Thirst. 

Aloy steered them directly toward the ruins, staying off the trails to hopefully avoid detection. It slowed them down a little, but it would be worth it if they could sneak up on the killers unawares. 

She eeled her way through patches of trees, and in open areas slipped from one piece of cover to the next, the clinking of Erend’s armor always just behind her. 

It was a strange feeling, having a partner that completely complimented her. It kindled a wild, feral sort of joy in her chest, knowing the capable, loyal man guarding her back had offered all of his considerable strength to her cause without hesitation. All because he _loved_ _her._

It put a fierce smile on her face as she made her way through the brush. 

They crested a small rise and Aloy paused briefly to scan the area below with her Focus. Erend settled into the space next to her in silence, trusting her skill implicitly as he checked their backtrail. She finished her scan and glanced at him, just in time for the morning sun to ignite ruddy highlights in his hair and bring out a little blue in his steel gray eyes. 

A sudden heavy, rolling wave of affection hit her like an attacking Charger. 

Erend pursed his lips in concern. “You okay?” 

This wasn’t the time or place for a long, thorough expression of the feelings threatening to overflow from her chest.  She resolutely tucked those thoughts away for another day, promising herself,  _ Soon. _ But she couldn’t resist rising to her toes and pressing a kiss against his frown. 

The frown melted into a crooked grin full of surprised disbelief. “I’ll take that as a yes.” 

 

————

 

It was mid morning when Aloy spotted the camp. 

“There,” she said, pointing as Erend came to a stop beside her. 

A tiny, barely noticable wisp of smoke was curling through the vegetation ahead of them. Hints of heavy metal beams and crumbled walls peeked between the gaps in the trees. There was a ruined building there, and it was occupied. 

“You’re sure that’s them?” Erend asked, looking uncertain. “Couldn’t it be a hunting party or something?” 

“Not likely,” Aloy said, frowning. “You know how the Nora think everything from the Old Ones is tainted. This whole area is taboo to them. And Varl and Sona and the other Seekers are helping rebuild the villages.”

“Good point,” Erend said with a slow nod. “Alright. Let’s see if we can get a closer look.” 

They crept closer to the ruin, slowly inching through the trees until they had reached a line of tall, thick brush within eyeshot of the building’s remains. An enormous old tree had grown in the space between two partially collapsed walls, its sprawling branches making a kind of half-roof over the remains of the structure. Areas where the wall had completely crumbled had been shored up with roughly built walls of wood and woven grass. 

The two of them crouched there, waiting, as a familiarly well-armored sentry appeared along the top of one wall, craned his head first one way then the other, and disappeared again. 

Aloy activated her Focus. 

“It’s definitely them. And there are a lot of them,” she said softly. “Another sentry besides that one we just saw. And about ten of them down on the ground. They’re all gathered around together—talking, I think.” 

“Sounds to me like they’re making plans,” Erend frowned.

“Probably,” Aloy nodded, scanning the walls. “Which means we have to stop them now.” 

Erend gestured with one hand. “Looks like they’ve built a door over the entrance there. We’ll have to find another way in.”

She turned to him with a sly smile. “You could always be subtle and kick it down. You’re good at that.” 

He favored her with an exasperated smirk and bumped his shoulder into hers. “You’re the worst. I take back every nice thing I said about you.” 

Aloy leaned into him, grinning, and studied the camp. It was small, difficult to access. And with so many people so close together, the usual sneak attack tactics she used with bandit camps wouldn’t work. As soon as the first person went down to an arrow the rest of the camp would explode into action. 

“I think I can climb that bit of wall there and get up into the tree without being seen,” she said after a moment. “I’ll go in first and—”

Erend frowned at her. 

She put a hand up to placate him. “First, not alone.” She caught his gaze and held it. “We’re going to watch each other’s backs, I promise.”

His shoulders visibly relaxed. “Okay,” he said, a small smile curling the corner of his mouth. Then he reached for one of her hands and wrapped his fingers around it. “What’s your plan?”

She told him. It was a good plan, Aloy thought. She laid it out for him, and he didn’t spot any flaws.  And once she and Erend were in motion it worked perfectly. 

Right up until the world started screaming. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes this is late. Thank you all so much for being patient with me. Life has been so busy and finding the bridge between all the feels of last chapter and the stuff that's going down in the next one turned out to be a real time consuming challenge. Hopefully I did halfway okay. 
> 
> Thanks again to everyone who's been reading and commenting and leaving kudos. You're amazing and I'm so, so grateful!


	15. Chapter 15

The idea had been to use tearblast arrows. Aloy would fire several of them from up in the tree, raining them down into the middle of the group where they would rattle teeth and shatter eardrums. That would give her time to kill as many as she could in the resulting chaos, just as Erend would come through the door, warhammer swinging.

They would never be able to take them all out that way, of course, but it would at least whittle down their numbers to something manageable. With their attention divided in opposite directions, she and Erend would have a huge advantage. And once she joined him on the ground and they could put their backs together, Aloy was confident they could hold their own with whoever was left.

She’d had it all worked out.

She had made it up the tree in absolute silence, had three tearblast arrows loosely notched on her bowstring, waiting, as she crept out along the biggest branch.

_Low and quiet..._

Then something erupted out of the leaves next to her, shooting up into the sky with a blast of blinding red light. It _shrieked_ as it moved, screaming so loudly that she fumbled her bow and the tearblast arrows went tumbling toward the ground.

 _A Stalker alarm mine!_ _But—!_ Her mind shrilled panic. There had been no light to mark it. And her Focus hadn’t seen it. Her _Focus_ hadn’t _seen_ it! How could—

The first mine immediately set off a second. Then a third. The people below her were shouting, grabbing for weapons.

The world was full of screaming; shrieking machine parts, shouting people, the screaming of adrenaline in her blood.

The shouting grew louder as a section of the makeshift wall behind the bandits disappeared in a sudden crash of breaking wood and a roaring malstrom with Erend’s voice—  

Then the tearblast arrows she had dropped clattered to the ground with a low hum, shuddered, and exploded.

The blast rattled the tree, raining down bits of leaves and twigs. The world was nothing but blurry chaos and shouting noise. Aloy scrubbed at her eyes, blinking away grit, only to see Erend charging through the debris like an attacking Thunderjaw. He swung his warmaul into the nearest bandit’s side, sending her spinning to the ground. Then, in one graceful motion, Erend reversed his grip and used the butt of his weapon to stun the next closest person with a strike to the head, pivoted, then whirled the hammer around to take a third bandit in the jaw with a sickening crunch. For half a heartbeat Aloy could only stare, admiring the fluid, easy way he wielded his hammer—like it was an extension of his arm. Despite everything heat pooled low and heavy under her ribs. _Oh..._

The bandits were quickly pulling themselves back together, drawing their weapons and moving to surround Erend. Aloy’s lip curled and she reached for her spear. The delicious warmth from a second ago instantly boiled away under a wave of seething red fury. _Get away from him!_

She leapt.

\------------------

Charging headlong into an enemy camp at the slightest sound of trouble probably wasn’t the most brilliant thing Erend had ever done.

Getting half surrounded by brigands wasn’t up there either. But none of that mattered right now. The panic surging through his blood was for only for Aloy. _Where is she?!_

He’d heard the alarms go off, heard the whole camp boil into action like a nest of angry ants. The plan was a complete wash, and Aloy was _alone_ in there with a dozen killers. He had to get to her, had to _be_ there, before—.  His ears had started ringing, his lungs squeezed suffocatingly tight as the memory of Ersa’s broken body seemed to consume his entire world.

_Not again. Not again!_

He had kicked the wall down without thinking, careening into the camp and smashing anything in his path that didn’t have a flag of copper-red hair.

 _Where_ is _she?!_

Now he was backed up against a wall of the ruin, alone and painfully outnumbered. He brandished his warhammer and strained to look through the settling dust and debris, trying to search the camp for Aloy without taking his eyes off the people who were probably—definitely—going to kill him.

_There!_

Movement up in the tree—a flash of flame red and Nora blue. The rush of relief made his knees almost buckle. She was okay!

 _He_ wasn’t, though. In the half a heartbeat while he had looked away, he’d been completely boxed in. Several of the bandits were notching arrows on their bows. There was no way even his Vanguard armor would save him at this range.

Oh, he was so, so dead.

_Please let Aloy make it out okay!_

He tightened his grip and braced himself to take as many with him as possible.

And then, suddenly, she was _there,_ dropping out of the sky like an enraged Stormbird, screaming defiance. Before Erend could even blink, she landed right on a man and pinned him to the ground with her feet. She didn’t even bother to attack him, just used him as a landing platform as she ran his startled neighbor through with her spear. A quick, seemingly impossible twist flung her victim’s corpse roughly into a third man’s face, sending his bow flying out of his hands, while Aloy stabbed the sorry bung she’d landed on neatly through the chest.

_Holy shit._

All the air left his lungs in a single ragged breath. She was so amazing. Fire and spit, she was so damned amazing.

“Come on!” she bellowed at him, grabbing a handful of his shirt sleeve and all but dragging him to her side.

They were still trapped inside the camp—why had they thought attacking a bunch of people in such a small space was a good idea?—but at least now they had some room to move. They put their backs together and glared out at the ring of enemies facing them.

A big man with heavy features and a myriad of machine parts built into his armor stalked toward them.

“You two again,” the man snarled.

Hot, red fury rushed up Erend’s spine, filled his lungs, set his jaw clenching so tightly his teeth creaked. It was _him._ This was the scorched-out piece of slag, the filthy Grazer-licker who’d left _handprints_ on Aloy’s throat.

He swung his warmaul without a second thought.

—————

There wasn’t even enough time for Aloy to shout. Erend raised his hammer, roaring a battle cry—and then the big man in front of them slapped his hand down onto a patch of his own armor, making the spot glow, then flair, then— 

“Aagh!”

Her vision scorched white, her eyes watering as the world went painfully overbright and blurry. There were shouts from every direction, but her ears were ringing so badly the sounds were hazy and muffled. Aloy clutched her head with both hands and tried to remember how to breathe.

First the Stalker mines, and now a Watcher blast?! How many other machine abilities had these people taken for their own? Aloy’s heart raced with fear as she scrubbed at her burning eyes. They hadn’t planned for this.

They hadn’t planned for any of this!

It was becoming horribly clear that she and Erend were woefully unprepared for this fight.

 _Erend._ Where was Erend?

She blinked away tears as her vision slowly began to clear—and immediately threw herself to the side to avoid a blurry, half-silent spear blade coming rapidly into focus.

She swung without thinking, her mind running on pure instinct and adrenaline. She felt her spear connect, bite deep, and then her attacker was on the ground, screaming. A second quick spear thrust finished him off. _That was too close._ Her heart pounded behind her ribs. She whirled to find Erend.

Most of the bandits had vanished. The big armored man was still there, however, and he and two of his cronies were backing Erend deep into a corner.

“Too afraid we’d kick all of your asses?” Erend shouted. His eyes were red and watering from the blast. “Don’t you want the rest of your butcher friends in on this?”

The armored man scoffed, his lips curling with scorn. “Typical Oseram bravado,” he spat. “It’s no wonder Senda left the Claim. You’re all bags of hot air covered in forge soot.” He glanced up at the sound of Aloy’s footsteps and his scowl deepened. “And the Nora barbarian wench. Annoying little flies.”

Erend charged, fury practically boiling off his armor, his lips curled into a feral snarl. He swung, hard, driving the head of his weapon at the crook of the big man's shoulder. The heavy steel glimmered in an arc of reflected light as it moved.

The big man moved quick and deadly as a Stalker. He pivoted, threw his torso backward, then whirled his spear and _slammed_ Erend’s hammer as it hurtled past.

Then everything seemed to happen all at once; Erend faltered, staggering, nearly losing his grip entirely, and stumbled sideways at the unexpected force. The big man and his companion rushed in, their weapons scraping along Vanguard steel. The third one whirled and charged straight at Aloy, a long, wicked looking blade in his hand.

Her blood raced and she hurriedly reached for an arrow. It clattered against her bow as she notched it, her sweating palms making it slip and fumble. She would not lose anyone again, she told her frantically pounding heart.

Not again.

Aloy blew a single, low exhale from between pursed lips—and chose her shot.

For a moment the world stilled. She had time to line up her arrow, time to choose just the right moment, time to feel the bowstring bite into her fingers as it stretched fully—

The bowstring thrummed, her arrow hurtling past the man charging at her, so close that the fletching stung his ear, and the bandit hunched over Erend’s prone form went down with a gurgling shriek.

There was no time to see if Erend was okay. The man charging at her swung his blade, the wicked curve of ragged metal glinting viciously. She threw up an arm in panic and the blade ground harshly along her bracer. A quick twist and she was alongside him. She shoved him hard, adding to the momentum already carrying him forward, and sent him stumbling past her. The curved tip of his blade slashed into the skin of her arm, but Aloy ignored it. She raised her spear and drove it into the man’s back before he could so much as look over his shoulder.

“You little _bitch!”_

Aloy whirled. The big man was thundering toward her, his fists white knuckled with rage and volcanic fury burning in his eyes.

She stepped backward, stumbled—the big man was almost on her—she glanced back—and then pain exploded along her ribs and she was tumbling, rolling horribly out of control.

_Aaah!_

She hit the wall of the ruin hard enough to see stars. Everything hurt. She clamped an arm to her injured side and scrambled to her feet. Her spear! Where was her—

Another scorchingly bright blast seared her vision and made her ears shriek.

_No!_

Something collided with her stomach so hard she shuddered to the ground, wheezing. He’d hit her so hard he’d knocked the wind out of her! She couldn’t see. She couldn’t breathe. He was standing over her, and she couldn’t breathe!

_I’m going to die._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have decided I'm terrible at writing action. I probably rewrote and revised this chapter four times, and I'm still not sure it actually works. Which stinks, because you all waited for ages and all I've got to show for it is a sub par chapter. 
> 
> Thank you all for being so patient with me, and for the comments and kudos. You all are amazing and I so, so appreciate you!! <3


	16. Chapter 16

_ I’m going to die. _

Erend was living a nightmare. He felt like he’d been fed to a Ravager. His jaw was searing with pain, and his knee hurt so badly he could barely move it. He was pretty sure it was dislocated. The big man and his goon were looming over him as he scrabbled frantically for his weapon. 

Two spear blades struck for his heart. He rolled, and the first glanced off his armor with a shriek of metal. The second was coming right at his throat. He threw up an arm in desperation and braced for the cold bite of steel.

But then the mercenary bearing down on him suddenly gasped and slumped to the ground with an arrow buried in his neck. 

_ What? _

“You little  _ bitch!” _ the big man roared, and whirled to charge at something. 

The man was furious. Furious and  _ going after Aloy! _ Erend had to get up. He had to do something. He’d throw himself off the palace mesa in Meridian before he let that scorched out piece of slag lay his filthy hands on Aloy again.  _ Get away from her! _

He stretched his leg straight and his kneecap snapped back into place with a bolt of searing pain. Not fully dislocated, then, but bad enough to hurt like hell all the same. He scrambled to his feet, trying to ignore his screaming leg, the heavy throbbing in his jaw. He had to—

Aloy slammed into the wall across from him.  _ No! _

Before Erend could blink, the big man was on her, firing his Watcher blast again, and Aloy staggered to the ground in agony. 

White hot anger boiled like molten steel in Erend’s chest. Blood howled in his ears.  His jaw clenched and his legs were suddenly moving on their own. Pain became a distant, muted thing as his body hurtled him forward like an enraged machine. He swung his hammer, roaring fury. 

The big man looked up, his face a mask of rage, and reached for the Watcher blast trigger on his armor— 

—Erend twisted his grip on his weapon, torquing the handle, squeezed his eyes shut—

—the blade end of his warmaul hit, bit deep, sliced with the wicked force of a Sawtooth’s claws. There was a brilliant flash of light from behind his eyelids, a furious gurgling cry, and hot blood spattered Erend’s hands. 

He staggered to a halt, panting, and watched as the big man slumped heavily to the ground and lay unmoving. Erend paused for a few heartbeats, just enough to make sure the bastard really was dead as a cold forge. Then he whirled, turning to face something far, far more important. 

“Aloy!”

She was gasping on the ground, a horrible wheezing in her chest, trying desperately to get air into her lungs. He heaved her into a sitting position, pounding the flat of his palm on her back. She clawed at him feebly. Finally, after long seconds of terror, she sucked in a huge, desperate, ragged breath. 

_ Thank the forge. _

And immediately punched him in the jaw. 

“Ow!” He grabbed at her hands. “Hey, it’s me!” It hadn’t been a very good punch. She’d barely been able to breath. But still! “I know you said I looked awful this morning, but I don’t think adding  _ more _ bruises is the answer.” 

“Erend?” she rasped, sounding almost incredulous. She scrubbed at her watering eyes and stared at him blearily, finally seeming to focus on him. “Where… The man!” Her voice was cracking and dry. 

He helped her sit up more comfortably. “It’s okay,” he said, keeping one arm protectively around her shoulders. The solid, comforting warmth of her eased his frantic pulse into something approaching normal. “That dung-bag isn’t a problem anymore.” 

Aloy coughed and her eyes scanned the carnage surrounding them with the jittery motions of a nervous Strider. Erend gave her a gentle squeeze until she met his gaze again. He watched her, watched the tension ease from her beautiful face, and smiled. His grin made the bruises on his face ache horribly, but he didn’t care. She was  _ okay, _ he hadn’t lost her, and the relief made him almost dizzy. 

“Don’t just stare at me like that,” she grumbled, her cheeks growing red, and she shoved at his shoulder. “What happened?” 

“You killed his goons—both of them—and that  _ really  _ pissed him off,” he said, full of pride for her. “He went after you with that Watcher thing again. Made him completely forget about me for a second.” Erend rubbed the back of his head and grinned. “Not that I’m complaining. Means now the bung’s busy holding my hammer up with his face.” 

Aloy’s eyes widened and she looked up over his shoulder, behind him. Erend followed her gaze. The handle of his warmaul was sticking up in the air, the bladed end pinning the big man’s corpse to the ground. Maybe it was relief, or adrenaline--maybe both--but for half a heartbeat the grizzly sight was strangely hilarious. He choked on a sudden laugh. Aloy looked up at him, sputtering on her own sudden mirth. 

They wrapped their arms around each other tightly, both of them shaking for a long moment with silent, irreverent giggles. 

\-------------------

“We’re making good time,” Aloy called over her shoulder, deactivating her Focus. Erend nodded from his place behind her and concentrated on keeping his arms locked around her waist. 

Riding a Strider to catch the escaped half of the bandit group had sounded like a good idea when Aloy said it. Erend trusted her, after all; when she said it would be safe, he absolutely believed her. And she had said he’d have to sit right behind her and hold on tight. That was the  _ opposite _ of a problem. Riding a Strider with Aloy had sounded great!

He hadn’t banked on the absolutely tooth-rattling gate of the damned thing. He had to perch awkwardly behind Aloy, straddling the machine’s bouncing hindquarters as it ran. Striders weren’t really meant for one person to ride them, let alone two. He ended up sandwiched between Aloy and the blaze canister on the machines back, and the cylinder of metal ground painfully against the base of his spine with each jouncing stride. He was going to have some very interesting bruises by the end of all this. 

Assuming they survived. 

_ At least we should catch up with those mercenary bungs fairly quickly, _ he thought.  _ And hopefully I can bend my legs enough to get off this thing when we do.  _

It hadn’t taken long for Aloy to snap back into action, back at the camp. A few moments to gather her thoughts and scrub her eyes clear, and she had already sprung to her feet and begun looting the bodies, muttering to herself. She had stripped the camp of everything useful in mere minutes and then insisted they immediately find the rest of the mercenaries, the ones who had escaped when the big man had started messing with that Watcher blast. 

If Erend had known that meant rattling his spine to pieces on the back of a Strider he might not have agreed with her quite so enthusiastically. 

“We should catch up with them in a few minutes,” Aloy said over her shoulder, echoing his previous thoughts. She moved so smoothly. It was incredible how easily she shifted her weight to match the Strider’s motion. “Get ready! We’ll only have one chance to catch them off guard.” 

“I’m on it,” he grunted, clinging to her waist and gritting his teeth against the next snap of the blaze canister. He raised an arm and grasped the machine parts hastily strapped to his armor. He hoped the bastards enjoyed a taste of their own medicine. 

And then, as if she’d summoned them, the startled faces of their quarry rapidly appeared as the Strider crested a small hill.

“There!” Aloy shouted, and urged their mount into an even faster gate. 

The five bandits drew their weapons at the sound of thundering metal hooves, and several of them began shouting. Erend tensed his legs, clenched the metal in his fist. Aloy was certain this would work. He trusted her. He wouldn’t let her down. 

As they barreled into the bandits’ clearing, the woman with the huge crossbow—what had the big man called her? Sorna? Senda—widened her eyes in sudden recognition and screamed like an enraged Stormbird. Her teeth bared in a furious snarl, and she heaved the enormous weapon from across her shoulder and aimed right for them. 

_ Oh shit.  _

“Now! Now!” Aloy’s words cut through his thoughts like a blade, and he followed them without thinking. He slapped the Watcher eye strapped to his chest and it exploded into an eye-searing burst of light. Shrieks of pain and outrage erupted around them. 

“Alright. Go!” Aloy shouted to him, shoving at his shoulder, and Erend hurled himself from the Strider’s back just as it charged into the thick of things. 

He tumbled, rolled, and came up swinging. He caught a skinny, terrified looking man right in the chest and brought him down with a roar. “Who’s next?”  The other bandits were paying no attention to him, however. Despite their visibly watering eyes and pained expressions, they were focused entirely on Aloy as she wheeled the Strider’s head around for another charge. 

The woman, Senda, stood from where she had dropped into a crouch, and seemed completely unaffected.  _ That’s not good.   _ She aimed her massive crossbow and Erend’s heart leapt up into his throat. Those huge arrows would go through a person like a knife through cloth. He charged, sprinting as fast as he could toward her. 

“Aloy!”

The Strider reared up to strike a bandit, and the woman fired. The huge arrow punched into its chest with a shriek of steel on steel, and the Strider pitched forward, showering sparks, sending Aloy flying over its shoulders. She landed hard, tumbling end over end on the packed ground. 

Three of the bandits swarmed toward her, and Erend roared in fury. He was almost to the woman with the crossbow—

She turned at the sound of him, her face a mask of rage, and drew a long, curved blade from her belt. She screamed and charged to meet him, slashing wildly at his face. 

Erend ducked, throwing his torso to the side. The blade passed so close he could feel the whuff of air on his jaw. He reached up with both hands on his warmaul and slammed the handle against her blade.

“You have the gall to use _my_ device _against_ me?!” she roared, smashing the flat of her blade against his hammer with shocking strength. “You! What, some pathetic, lone Freebooter? Hired by a dirty savage in exchange for what’s between her legs?”

The roaring thunder of blood in Erend’s ears rose until it was almost deafening. He twisted and struck, bearing his teeth in an enraged growl. But oh, this woman was fast, this hateful woman with her murderous devices and her vicious tongue. She dodged away easily. She was barely even breathing hard, and slashed at his midriff almost faster than Erend could see. He flailed backward desperately. Only his heavy belly plate saved him, turning the deadly swing into a glancing blow. 

This… was bad. 

Erend was an excellent fighter. He may be a useless drunk, but he was very good with a weapon. Brute force. He was good at that. He could best any one of his Vanguardsmen, and sometimes several at once, when they sparred in Meridian. He’d fought through droves of Shadow Carja, cut down bandits and raiders by the dozen. 

Healthy and whole, he could have kept up with her attacks, put his full strength behind each of his swings. But the wound on his chest burned with each breath, and his leg lit up with red lances of pain when he moved. His left eye was swollen and it was hard to see. 

_ Too slow.  _

Fear clawed up Erend’s spine. This woman was fast, ruthless, and she fought as if she had nothing left to lose. Each vicious slash came right on the heels of the one before, forcing Erend to twist and pivot, constantly on the defensive. He couldn’t even spare a minute to find Aloy! Another swing, and he barely evaded. His heart was a tiny clenched knot beside his lungs. 

He couldn’t let Aloy down. She was counting on him, he’d promised to have her back! 

The woman’s blade bit into the leather at his shoulder, deep enough for the cold steel to slip against his skin. Hot pain blossomed, and there was a warm rush of blood. Erend raised his leg and kicked, hard. 

The woman staggered back with an audible gasp, clutching her stomach with one arm. 

Erend bared his teeth and raised his hammer again, trying to ignore the way his injured knee howled throbbing agony. He couldn’t stay on the defensive, had to break her pattern and take her down quickly. Aloy, he had to get to Aloy! 

The woman charged at him, screaming in rage. Her face was red and the tendons in her neck stood out against her skin. It was a little like the drunken rage that came over some Oseram when they were too deep into their brew, so overcome with fury that they went berserk. 

He dodged her first swing with a twist of his torso. 

_ Have to stay calm. Have to out-think her! _

He could see the hits coming, knew where he needed to be to get out of the way. But his body was slower than usual, pain making it less responsive. Her second blow glanced off the steel rings on his heavy gloves as he tried to side step, and instead almost dropped his warmaul. The third carved up through the air toward his ribs, and he only just managed to turn so that it scraped against the metal plates of his cuirass. 

The fourth… was a feint. She swung at his head, hard. Erend ducked on instinct, and the woman used the opening to kick his good knee with savage force. It folded up in pain, shifting all his weight to the bad one, and Erend’s spine shrilled with cold horror as he felt himself suddenly dropping to the ground. 

_ No!  _

He was going to fail Aloy. He was going to die and leave her with no one to watch her back. Not a day since he’d told her he loved her, and he was already letting her down. His heart squeezed in his throat. 

“Die!” the woman snarled, raising her sword. Erend tried to get to his feet, tried to scramble out of the way, his legs shrieking protest.  _ No!  _

And then a spear blade suddenly appeared in the woman’s chest. 

Her face twisted into a mask of rage, one hand reaching up to grasp uselessly at the weapon protruding from her torso. Erend stared, and he felt his mouth slowly curve into a smile. 

The blade disappeared, sliding suddenly away, and a figure with copper bright hair stepped out from behind the stricken woman. 

“It’s over,” Aloy said, her eyes hard as the woman slowly slumped to her knees.

She reached out a hand to Erend and helped him to his feet. The relief at seeing her safe almost sent him back down again. He kept hold of her hand, grounding himself in the solid feel of her fingers, the gentle shape of her knuckles as he let his thumb graze across them. Aloy squeezed his hand, but never took her eyes off the woman on the ground.

She glared up at Aloy in agonized fury. Then, slowly, a horrible smile split her face. It was a terrifying thing, all teeth and wide, unseeing eyes. She started to laugh, the sound gurgling through blood in her throat. 

Aloy frowned and Erend tightened his grip on his hammer. 

“Yesss,” the woman hissed, her voice breaking as she slumped further to the ground. “It  _ is _ over.” And with a last burst of strength she pulled at a cord on her hip quiver, ripping it lose with a loud snap. The quiver burst at the seams with a puff of ignited blaze, and sent signal arrows flying in all directions. 

Erend ducked as arrows sailed past him. They tumbled end over end, clattering to the ground at his feet, behind him,  _ everywhere.  _ As he straightened, he could see the woman laying on the ground, silent and still, surrounded by the dozens of scattered arrows she’d loosed. 

Erend blinked. Had she seriously thought throwing them everywhere would land a good hit? He was so glad these crazy people were all dead.

“You okay?” he asked as Aloy turned to look at him. 

“Yeah,” she said with an exhausted sigh. “You?” 

Erend put his arms around her. “Yeah.” He held her for a moment, reassuring himself that she was still there, that they both were still alive, that— 

Clicking. Loud clicking. 

He looked around, his heart suddenly choking the back of his throat. The bulb ends of the arrows, all of them, were blinking red light, each baleful flash punctuated by a sharp click.   


Aloy’s fingers clenched hard in his shirt sleeves. 

“Oh no.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who has been leaving me kudos and comments and just generally being so patient with this update. Things in my personal life have been tough lately, and this chapter was another one filled with action, which I find particularly challenging to write. So everything has been very, very slow to update. Just know that I'll never, ever abandon this story. Even if I'm slow to update, I'm always working on it. But knowing you all want to read it makes a huge difference. So thank you. You're all amazing and I love you!


	17. Chapter 17

“Quick!”

“Hurry!”

They snapped into action as if they had practiced together. Adrenaline surged like a brushfire through Aloy’s veins. 

She immediately brought her spear down on the nearest arrow, while Erend hefted his warmaul and began smashing everything within reach. They worked with frantic energy; every lost second was time for a machine to pick up the signal. All it would take was one arrow to lure something in, and there were dozens around them. 

Strike, step, strike, again. The world narrowed to her spearblade and the next blinking, clicking device. Bits of glass flew everywhere, cascading like struck sparks with each swing of her spear. 

Minutes passed, each second winding the knot of worry in Aloy’s gut tighter and tighter—

Until finally they stood, breathless and gasping, in a spray of dented metal barbs and shattered glass. They waited, frozen, listening for several agonizing heartbeats and barely daring to breathe. Had they found them all? What was that sound? Another click? No, only the wind in the grass. 

Aloy scanned the horizon and tried to ease her frantic pulse. The scorching fire and exhausted desperation of yesterday’s fight with the Bellowback was still fresh in her memory. Would the machines lose interest and turn around if the signal disappeared? 

_ Calm, calm... _

The raucous cry of a Glinthawk echoed off the valley walls and Aloy’s heart immediately sank. Several distant pairs of steel wings arrowed down from the sky toward them. Her heart sank even lower as the calls were suddenly answered by a metallic roar, and the heavy footsteps of something large heading up the valley floor toward them. Damn. Another Bellowback? 

Aloy shook her head.  _ Doesn’t matter. We weren’t fast enough, _ she thought with a grimace. Whatever it was, they would have to face it. The machine was too far away to see or for her Focus to pick up. Maybe it would leave if they killed the Glinthawks quickly. 

She turned to Erend. He was staring at the Glinthawks with a grey, exhausted look. 

“This started off as such a nice day,” he muttered, sagging. Then his eyes flicked to meet hers and a crooked little smile eased across his face. He shifted his grip on his warhammer and straightened his spine. “Well, same as last time?”

She found herself grinning back at him, heart whirling with the magnitude of everything she felt for him. It was damned good to have him here with her, someone she trusted, a  _ partner. _ “Yeah,” she said. “I drop them and you take them out.” She watched his smile widen into something fierce, and her blood sang with a strange, savage joy. She thought back to that one perfect day of hunting, and grinned wide. Together, they would  _ decimate  _ these machines. 

One by one, the metallic birds began to spit chillwater and plummet toward them. 

Igniting several fire arrows arrow, Aloy chose her first target. The unlucky Glinthawk was engulfed in seconds, a screaming fireball that thudded to the ground with a loud clang of metal. Erend was on it in a heartbeat, striking the most vital parts with deadly hammer blows. He was incredibly quick. Two heavy, crushing swings and the machine was a shuddering heap of sparks. 

Aloy shot him a smile and notched another arrow. 

They quickly brought down a second Glinthawk, then another, until the sky was abruptly empty of silver wings and ice. 

They stood for a moment, scanning the horizon.

“That wasn’t so bad,” Erend grinned at her, reaching out a hand to curl around her shoulder. “Did the other guy turn around and go home?”

Aloy had almost forgotten about the other machine. She activated her Focus and her stomach dropped. _ Are you  _ kidding  _ me?!  “ _ Not exactly,” she hissed. Anything else she might have said was immediately drowned out by a thundering roar and the heavy, bone deep thumping of enormous footsteps. 

The machine came stomping up out of a low dip in the valley floor, its long antennae appearing first, then a pair of heavy, square disk launchers, and finally the rest slowly crested the rise. Its eyes glowed a baleful red as it headed right toward them. 

Erend’s eyes went wide with horror. “That’s … a Thunderjaw.”

Aloy clenched her fists and threw her head back in frustration at their horrible luck. “Damn it!”

“Of  _ course _ it’s a damned Thunderjaw. Fire and spit,” Erend continued to grumble. He heaved a heavy sigh that made his armor clink. “Hey, so… You remember that day at Red Ridge Pass?” he said, still staring ahead. “‘Take down some machines, track some killers’.” He turned to face her. “You said it was just an average day for you?”

“This really isn’t the best time for reminiscing…” Aloy hurriedly counted her remaining arrows and began looking for anything that would serve as cover. 

“And I said I’d hate to see a busy one?” 

They had less than a minute before the Thunderjaw was close enough to strike. They didn’t have time for this!  “Yes, Erend, I was  _ there _ ,” she said, glancing up at the rapidly approaching machine. 

He bumped her shoulder with his and shot her a wicked grin, “I’m just saying, for once I was totally right. Your busy days are horrible and you need better hobbies.” 

Aloy blinked at him, staring, then rolled her eyes so hard it almost hurt. She pinched the bridge of her nose to keep her mouth from curling upward. “If we survive this I’m going to kill you.” 

“Nah, you’d miss me too much,” he grinned back.

_ Idiot _ , Aloy thought with a grumble. But despite their dire circumstances, the sparkle of affection in Erend’s eyes made her stomach flutter and her heart pick up speed. She loved this idiot. She raised her hand to swat him on the arm. 

Blistering hot laserfire cut through the air between them. 

_ Aaah! _

They threw themselves to either side, darting away from the scorching blasts. The bright blue beams zipped past close enough for Aloy to feel the heat of them against her skin. Her heart leapt against her ribs. Her mind raced ahead, calculating. 

“Flank it!” she shouted, gesturing with one hand. “We can attack it from both sides, keep it distracted!” 

Erend nodded wildly and dashed toward the grass on the opposite side of the Thunderjaw. He was limping, Aloy noted with a twinge of concern. “I’ll take that side, you get this one!” he shouted, looking back over his shoulder. 

For half a heartbeat their eyes locked, and Aloy stared into stormy grey with glints of blue. It was only a moment, like the last breath before an arrow is loosed, but in that space of a heartbeat something passed between them;  _ I’ve got your back, _ she read in his eyes, and hoped he would read the same from her. _ We can do this _ .  _ Be careful. _

_ I love you.  _

Then the Thunderjaw’s heavy tail careened toward her in a massive swipe, and Aloy flung herself down, rolling. She leapt to her feet and sprinted as fast as she could. 

“Hey!” Erend’s voice echoed strangely from the other side of the Thunderjaw’s massive body. A frost arrow exploded across the right side of its face. “Over here, you stupid piece of oversized scrap!” 

The machine bellowed in rage and spun up its disk launchers. 

_ Erend won’t last long against those. Have to take them out!  _

There were only a handful of tearblast arrows left in her quiver. She would have to make them count. 

She notched three at once onto her bow and drew, focusing, breathing.  _ There.  _ She loosed, sent the arrows skimming just past the base of the right hand disk launcher, right into the metal rods joining it to the Thunderjaw’s hip. The arrows whirred and exploded, tearing off plates of armor. And the metal rods bowed, then snapped, and the heavy disk launcher went spinning end over end, hurtling away into a patch of grass. 

_ One down.  _

The Thunderjaw immediately turned, its red eyes flashing rage, and charged. 

_ Well that certainly got its attention.  _

Aloy threw herself to the side as the machine barreled past. It missed her by barely a hand’s breadth, and whirled to face her again with frightening speed. More laserfire shot from its mouth, and Aloy darted out of the way. 

Somewhere from behind her, Erend was shouting at the machine, alternating between arrows and colorful insults to get its attention. The machine didn’t seem to care. It’s eyes were fixed on Aloy, and it quickly spun up its remaining disk launcher. 

_ Not good. _

The heavy humming of the disks was so loud she could feel it in her bones, and Aloy leapt wildly to avoid each one as they rained down around her. She gritted her teeth. They didn’t have time for this. Both of them were tired, Erend was injured. They had to get rid of that disk launcher, had to attack the vulnerable spots, had to kill this machine before it wore them down and crushed them.

Several freeze arrows pelted the Thunderjaw’s side, crusting the thick metal shielding over its heart with heavy white frost. The metal groaned loudly in protest as the machine moved. Aloy’s pulse leapt wildly. She notched two arrows, darting frantically between raining disk fire, and loosed. The arrows hit the frozen armor on its leading edge, and with a loud crack the big metal panel snapped free of its clasps and tumbled loose.

The Thunderjaw roared. 

_ It’s heart is exposed, we can do this. We can—  _

The Thunderjaw charged at top speed. 

Aloy ran, leapt, her fingers white-knuckle tight on her bow as she threw herself out of the way. The Thunderjaw’s massive clawed feet sliced through the air just inches from Aloy’s skin. It was practically on top of her. She had to get away! 

The machine’s tail swung, clipped her leg as she tried to roll out of the way, sending her sprawling into the dirt. Aloy could barely make out Erend’s voice over the Thunderjaw’s roaring. He was shouting something. But it was immediately lost under the sound of heavy, pounding footsteps. She had to get up! Had to find cover, or at least get some distance between her and the machine. It would trample her at this range!

She rolled to one side, dust and grit choking her nose and mouth as she moved. Something slammed into the earth beside her, just barely missing her ear. A deep, resonating hum rumbled in her bones. More disks! 

Aloy scrambled to her feet, throwing herself out of the way as disks hurtled down on her again. She glanced over her shoulder and saw the huge body of the Thunderjaw looming, the disk launcher hovering overhead. Beside it was a small figure in glinting steel. It was frantically evading the hail of disks, its motions marred by a slight limp. 

_ Erend!  _

For a horrible moment Aloy was back in Mother’s Watch, a corrupted Thunderjaw threatening to wipe an entire tribe from the earth. The air had been full of blue and orange beams of deadly light, full of the pounding hum of spinning disks. And full of blood, so much blood. It had been so thick in the air she could practically taste it. The choking, horrible smell of broken and bleeding Braves scattered everywhere. 

She remembered Varl covered in red, shaking and exhausted by the end of it all, remembered being terrified he would collapse and die from blood loss or an internal injury. As she stood, paralyzed by the haunting memory, her traitorous mind replaced Varl with Erend, covered him in Varl’s wounds, hunched and limping and inches from bleeding out.  _ No, no!  _ Aloy’s throat closed, her hands—

_ crack-BOOM! _

Something in front of her exploded, and the horrible images behind her eyes shattered like Carja glass. Aloy snapped back to herself and looked up, heart racing. 

The Thunderjaw was staggering, its flank trailing smoke, its exposed heart char-pocked and sparking. Erend was heafting the massive disk launcher she had removed. He stood tall, the weapon braced against his hip as he roared almost as loud as the Thunderjaw. 

_ “Get!” _ he bellowed, firing another shot.  _ “Away!” _ —another shot— _ “From Aloy!” _ —a third. Disk after disk slammed into the machine’s side. 

_ Oh...  _ Something hot and electric raced up Aloy’s spine. Her heartbeat surged in a way that had nothing to do with fear.

_ I’ve got your back.  _ He’d given her just the opening she needed.    


Oh. She  _ really  _ loved that idiot.   


Aloy reached for the last of her tearblast arrows. 

————

The Thunderjaw was shaking itself, cascading sparks from its wounds. Erend let the heavy disk launcher, now spent, drop to the ground and shook out fingers numb with recoil. His hip felt like it had stood up against the entire Liberation. But despite his aches he couldn’t wipe the grin from his lips. Disk launchers, he decided, were  _ fun! _ They may even give Petra’s canons a run for their money. They should have had one of these babies when they went up against that corrupted Dearhbringer at the Spire! 

The Thunderjaw found its footing and faced him with red eyes full of metal anger.  _ Aaaand fun time is over.  _ To the side, he could see Aloy notching arrows on her bow, taking careful aim as the Thunderjaw’s mouth lasers began to whine. It was completely ignoring her. Erend grinned. 

_ Yeah, over here you big, dumb chunk of scrap. Aloy’s got a surprise for you.  _

He watched, barely breathing, as Aloy’s shot sailed through the air and tucked neatly into the Thunderjaw’s hip. The arrows hummed, then exploded, and the second disk launcher tumbled into the air. 

_ Fire and spit, she’s so damned amazing.  _

His smile slipped into something that was probably in the vicinity of “lovesick” as he watched Aloy smoothly dart away from the Thunderjaw’s enraged tail swipe. He was grateful his men weren’t around to see him like this. They’d be making moon eyes and teasing him for weeks.  _ You gonna kiss her, Captain?  _

Maybe months. 

Then the ground was shaking. Erend’s eyes snapped away from Aloy. The Thunderjaw was charging him.  _ Oh shit.  _ His stomach plummeted into his toes and he threw himself to the side as the huge machine trampled the spot where he’d just been.

_ Idiot! Pay attention! _

The Thunderjaw wheeled around, its lasers already alight and searing the ground around Erend. He rolled, keeping his head low, and winced as stray shots sizzled against his armor. This wasn’t good. He had to get up. Staying prone would get him killed. 

The ground was rumbling again. 

Erend clawed his way to his feet and reached for his bow. Aloy was somewhere behind him. If he could keep the Thunderjaw busy she would have time to line up another good shot. 

He notched a freeze arrow, loosed, then notched another. He fired again and again. The Thunderjaw was still barreling toward him, like a mountain on two legs. Its head and mouth dripped frost and wisps of icy fog. The thick bowstring bit into his fingers as he drew back once more.

_ Wait until the last minute.  _

His heart was hammering so loud he could barely hear anything else. The machine’s maw gaped before him, the thunder of its footsteps rattling his knees. Erend held his breath. He fired the arrow. 

_ Now! _

He threw himself to the side again, hoping wildly that he hadn’t miscalculated--

\--and the world exploded. 

_ What?  _

He looked up, blinking. Through a haze of sparks and smoke, Erend could see the Thunderjaw reeling a few feet away, its head thrown back in pain as massive disks slammed into it. The frozen metal shrieked with each impact, sending shards of shrapnel flying everywhere. He threw up an arm as several rattled against his armor. 

Then the ground  _ lurched  _ as the Thunderjaw pitched over onto its side…. and lay still. 

For a moment Erend could only stare. Then he grinned. “She did it!” he shouted to no one. They weren’t dead!  _ Fire and spit!  _  He slumped to the ground on his back, laughing like a drunk, and stared up at the sky. They weren’t dead!  Aloy had killed the machine! Aloy was  _ incredible!  _

He wiped grit and flakes of metal from his face and slowly got up, loose shards and rock fragments clattering across his armor as he moved. He was only to his knees when Aloy skidded to a stop beside him and began patting him all over. 

“What happened? I don’t see any blood.” 

Erend was smiling so hard it was making his face ache. Fire and spit, he loved her so much. “You were amazing!” he breathed. He reached to hug her, but stopped when she went rigid under his fingers. He blinked, slowly realizing she wasn’t nearly as elated as he was, and squeezed her shoulders. 

“Hey. You okay?”

She sucked in a slow, shaky breath. “So, you’re not hurt?” she said softly. 

Erend shook his head and gave her a crooked smile. “Nah. That crazy bandit lady already got all the good injuries in this morning.” She huffed a little laugh, and he could feel her muscles ease, feel the tension slowly drain out of her shoulders and back. 

Then she swatted his arm. 

“Ow! Hey!” 

“You were lying on the ground after a Thunderjaw charged you,” Aloy glowered, red creeping across her features. “What was I supposed to think?”

Erend tried to keep his face straight. He really did. She’d been scared after all. But the embarrassed scowl on her face was too adorable and he was sputtering laughter in seconds. He reached for her again, and this time she let him draw her into the enormous hug he’d been craving.

“I love you,” he said into her hair.

She made an exasperated noise at him, and grumbled something into the crook of his shoulder that sounded suspiciously like, “Idiot.” Then, carefully, she wound her arms around him and rested her head against his neck. “I don’t really want to hunt any more machines for a few days,” she muttered into his scarf. 

“Heh. Fine by me,” Erend grinned and held her tight, let the heat of her seep into his bones and the smell of her engulf his senses. He felt her heartbeat begin to slow. “You were  _ amazing _ ,” he said again, pressing a kiss to her temple. 

Aloy exhaled a tiny ghost of a laugh and slowly drew back so she could look at him. “It wasn’t like I killed it alone.” Her fingers toyed idly with the fabric of his shirt, raising goosebumps on his skin beneath. She caught his eyes, “I’m glad you were here with me.”

_ Aloy _ was glad  _ he _ had been there? It seemed awfully warm all the sudden. Was it getting weirdly hot out? Erend ran a hand along the back of his head and looked away. “Heh. Which of my amazing contribution did you like best?” he said, plastering his most rakish grin on his face. “All the shouting and swearing? Or was it the limping that really did it?” 

Aloy swatted his arm again.  _ Ow!  _  “I liked it,” she said firmly, tilting her face to look him in the eye, “when you had my back. Especially when you found that disk launcher. I liked that a lot.” Her smile was sly. Then her arms glided up, her hands moving to frame his face, and she caught his reply on her tongue before he had even finished thinking it. 

_ Oh. Oh wow. _ He was really, really glad he was already on the ground. No way his knees would have survived this. 

She pulled him closer, her kiss turning hungry. Her fingers wound into his hair, her nails gently scraping his scalp, and it was all Erend could do to not melt into a puddle of goo right then and there. He couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped his throat, though, and felt Aloy’s smile against his mouth. 

She drew back with a satisfied hum, favoring him with a last few little kisses as he leaned forward helplessly to follow her.  She laughed and pushed him gently away, pressing a final kiss to his forehead. Erend smiled slowly, feeling a little lightheaded. 

“I, uh... need to get another disk launcher,” he said dreamily. 

Aloy chuckled, a low, rich sound that kindled a delicious heat in his belly.

“I love you,” she murmured. Her breath was warm against Erend’s lips. Then she drew him back in, and Erend sank blissfully into her embrace. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, is this the part where I show up late with Starbucks? 
> 
> You guys have been amazingly patient with this chapter, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. As usual, action gives me a really hard time. Combine that with con prep, vending at said con, my day job going bananas, and navigating a massive family visit, and yeah. It's been busy. You are amazing for sticking with me. Thank you so much for the comments and the kudos. It's really kept me going. I hope this chapter was at least a little bit worth the wait. It's a bit longer than usual because you've all been so patient, and I needed to give these two doofs some smooching after all I'd put them through. 
> 
> Thanks again, guys! <3 You're the best.


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